#ManDayBlog Every Woman Loves A Man Who Has Integrity And Good Character

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It takes a lot to be a good man, that’s why being a good man is so admirable amongst other good people. It takes discipline, sacrifice and a long track record of good decision making to bring out these great qualities, and that’s what will set you apart. It’s easy to take the low road because there’s no challenge, no one holding you accountable, and no one pushing you to be better. On the high road, you’ll find other people who are constantly making better decisions, reaching for new heights and encouraging one another along the way. The beauty of having integrity is that those who also have it will recognize it inside of you which will establish trust and prompt the start of a meaningful relationship.

Society is filled with people who lack integrity, which is why we as a people must be governed by regulated officials and authorities to ensure that we all live in fairness. Just imagine watching a sports game with no referees… the game would never end because it would boil down to integrity. And when a championship is on the line, you can count on integrity going right out of the window. It will be a matter of his word against theirs, so in the end who do we believe? If you choose the team on the left, you’ll upset the team on the right and vice versa. To eliminate these problems, we bring in a number of referees who are held to a higher standard and will call the game in fairness.

You don’t have to be an elected official to choose to live by a higher standard, you can simply be a son, brother, husband, father or friend. Your peers will respect you more if you have established yourself as someone who has good character and can be trusted. How do you build this trust? It’s simple, all you have to do is be the best man you can be, and that will require doing the right thing for yourself and for others. Your ability to prove yourself worthy of trust will be the staple that holds your relationship with other people together.

When you apply for a job, they ask a series of questions that reflect your work history, educational background, demographic and criminal history. All of the information provided on the application is relevant to the employer because before hiring you, they want to have an idea of who you are. They also want to feel confident in knowing that you are not only capable of doing the job, but also that you can be trusted with their resources and information. By being honest on your application despite how you feel it may hurt or improve your chances, you build trust with that employer. They’re going to do a background check anyway, and the truth is bound to come out, give them ahead start by being open and honest from the beginning.

In today’s times, people are always on guard because they’re so used to other people trying to manipulate or cheat a system to make it work in their favor. By being transparent, having integrity and being honest, you will have great success in not only bringing down those walls, but also in opening up doors. It’s a breath of fresh air to have someone around their friends, family and/or business that they can trust. If you can manage to be that breathe of fresh air, people will not only want to have you around, but they will need to have you around. Make yourself indispensable by offering an open and honest relationship that is built on trust.

When establishing your inner circles at school or at work, the first thing people will notice about you is your character. People are interested in knowing who you are as a person, and once they figure you out, the information gathered will be the determining factor in who sticks around and who keeps their distance. Once you show that you have integrity, people will feel more comfortable about opening doors that lead to their wisdom, their network, and their resources. There will be subliminal tests thrown your way such as conversations about your relationships with women, money time and God. It may seem like nothing initially, but to them, your relationship with women, money, time and God is in fact everything!

People want to know about your relationship with other women because it reflects what you stand for as a man. People will be particularly interested in you relationship with your mother because she is the woman who brought you into this world. She laid down the foundation and has set the standard by which you will treat the woman you associate with in the future. Sometimes the opportunity to have morals, values and principles instilled in you by your mother is missed, and that has considerable influence on how you interact with other women. This information is extremely valuable to a man who has a sister, daughter or a wife. A man who knows his role looks to protect the women in his family against all possible threats, even if that means keeping a barrier between him and you.

Women are very sensitive, very delicate and look to a man for protection. For this reason, a woman of substance makes a man wait to get close to her heart and body. She wants to be sure that he can be trusted with it and that he won’t intentionally cause her grief and pain. Having a track record of being loyal, respectful, fair and kind will expedite your progress with a woman, as she will have lowered her guards just for you. If you want a woman to stay, give her hope. If you want a woman to leave, give her doubt!

People want to know about your relationship with money because it reflects your values and discipline. A man who values money and shows discipline can also be trusted with it and around it. By having a healthy relationship with money, people will feel more comfortable inviting you into their home and around their business and resources. Being a good steward of money will also propel your relationship with others to new heights because they will view you as someone who could help them do the same. The more people see value in you, the more they will want to invest in you.

People want to know about your relationship with time because they don’t want theirs to be wasted. If a person doesn’t make the best of your time, they shouldn’t be blessed with your time. They will look to see what you’ve done, what you’re doing and what your plans are for the future. It’s easy to pretend that you’re making progress and making moves, but to a person who’s really doing it, they’ll be able to see right through you. Being honest about your progress in life will allow others to see what you are missing from your life as well as what they can add to your life. Your time is too valuable to waste it on people who aren’t going places, and other people will feel the same way about you.

How you spend your time and who you spend your time with is important in the realm of building relationships. Take public figures for example, they cannot afford to be seen associating with people who lack integrity because that makes them guilty by association. The association with someone who makes poor decisions with their time is also a reflection of them and can hinder their progress in life. By spending your time doing positive things, you’ll attractive more positive people and opportunities. If you’re having trouble figuring out how to stay positive, simply surround yourself with positive people.

People want to know about your relationship with God because your level of spirituality portrays that you acknowledge a power that is greater than you. Submission to this higher power keeps you humble, influences your attitude towards others. Not only will your relationship with God help your relationship with others, but it will help you to build a relationship with yourself. You will begin to see the value in you, understand your worth, and use your findings to inspire others. God is love, and when you make a spiritual connection, you will start doing things out of love.

Your reputation is everything, so be protect it at all costs. It’s easier to walk in truth than to fight over a lie. Every day you should look to improve as a man, and you do this by being proactive and always aspiring to have more. There’s no such thing as a free lunch, so take pride in working your way up to the top, and when you get there help others get there too. Life is about building relationships and leaving behind legacies, so start building yours today. When you leave this earth, stories will be told about the way you lived your life and the things you achieved. You are in a position to write your own story in the way you want others to tell it, and that’s by living in truth.

When others speak about your character, you want them to speak highly of you and to model after you. You want people to be inspired by your struggle, inspired by your failures and inspired by your successes.

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#Free Advice Wednesday Question Of The Week “Q: Should I move to my man’s city? It would easier for me to move than him.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hi Cheyenne,

Q: I live in California, my boyfriend lives in New York and he wants me to move out there. I’m conflicted on whether or not I should go. What should I do?

A: You should continue to live your life wherever it is convenient for you. Clearly New York is convenient for him, and that’s why he’s inviting you to come all the way across the country so that you can be with him. He wants you to be a convenience to him and nothing more. If he really wanted you to be a part of his life, he would move to California, or marry you and make arrangements for you come and live with him in New York full time. There a billions of men and the world and you only need one. Never settle for a man who is going to treat you like a convenience. Settle for a man who is going to treat you like a priority. The worst part about this move is that you are not his wife. If for any reason he gets tired of you and no longer wants to be in a relationship with you, he can simply kick you to the curb. Now you’re stuck in New York where you have no family and no one to turn to. Spare yourself the heartache and pain and date men right there within close proximity. Thank me later. 😉

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#ManDayBlog Marriage is Forever!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Every time I go to a wedding I find myself chuckling on the inside when then priest gets to the “Til death do you part” part of the sermon. It’s one of those “Are you SURE you want to do this?” moments. Lol I imagine that particular moment to be a nervous one because once you say, “I do”, you’re declaring before God and witnesses that you are in it for the long haul. This is a moment that is literally going to change your life forever!

I suppose that’s what makes it so scary for so many people; it’s not the word marriage that scares them, it’s the word change. Everything that you’re used to has to change for the sake of your marriage, and sometimes that can be a good thing. Sometimes we do things wrong our entire lives, and because we’ve been doing it wrong for so long, we are convinced that it’s right. Sometimes change is exactly the thing we need in order to finally get it right. At times our pride won’t allow us to admit that our way isn’t working, isn’t fruitful or isn’t productive.

What a marriage offers is another perspective from someone who genuinely cares. I don’t know about you, but the person I spend the rest of my life with has to genuinely care about my thoughts, feelings, passion and my pain. I couldn’t imagine sharing a life with someone who takes no interest in the things that interest me. I’ve committed to many things in life and what mattered the most was the end result. If I’m working hard on a basketball team, I want to win a championship. If I’m putting forth my time, energy, effort and money into college, I want to earn a degree.

The same applies to my marriage, if I’m committed to you for a lifetime I want her knowledge, resources, love and support forever and ever. This is why it’s extremely important to know who you are, and know who you’re dealing with. If you choose wrong, you could end up miserable forever and ever. You want to be in union with someone that you value and who values you, so be sure to take your time before making this crucial life changing decision.

My grandparents on my father’s side were married for 50+ years until my grandmother passed away in 1995. My grandfather passed away in 2004 and at that age, I was too young to even think about marriage, let alone the value of it. If he were alive to day I would ask him questions about his values, what made him fall in love with my grandmother, and what kept them together for so long. If I had to guess, I would say that it was pure unfiltered love. They loved each other enough to stay together, value each other, and set an example for generations to come.

They were always pleasant around one another, it was as if they knew exactly what the other wanted out of life, and allowed each other to enjoy it. My grandmother was a smoker, and she eventually died of cancer at an old age. My grandfather never belittled my grandmother or bashed her for habit of smoking (not in front of us anyway). I would imagine that he came to terms with this was a habit she was unwilling to give up, and that he would have to live with. That’s a beautiful thing when two people are able to accept each other with their flaws and all and still love them to death.

Like most men, my grandfather didn’t do too much talking, but he did a lot of doing. He was consistent with his behavior when we came around. He would ask us questions about school, set a bowl of candy out for us, prepare dinner before we arrived and then take us to the park where he would take candid photos of us. Everyone needs an escape from home from time to time and for an old man, this was the perfect opportunity. My grandfather was real calm, cool and sometimes a little grouchy, and perhaps the grouchy part was something that my grandmother had to get over.

There building had a wonderful view of the Williamsburg bridge in Brooklyn, and we loved to look at the night’s skyline as kids. I would imagine that that was something my grandparents enjoyed doing as well. They had 3 sons and a host of grandchildren and great grandchildren that they could be proud of. They had done something with their lives that would never be forgotten. They built a relationship with one another and left behind a legacy in this world, and they did it all together.

If there’s nothing else I admired about my grandparents, it’s definitely their values for marriage. We all will face the day when we are no longer able to write a book, give a speech, or pass down a tradition with our words. Our actions throughout the courses of our lives in many cases will be all the lesson that future generations will need to learn and grow. I can’t sit here and say that my grandfather never taught me anything about marriage simply because he never spoke of it. He taught me the value of marriage by standing by his wife until she took her last breath.

That’s not something you see everyday, especially in this day in age where people are walking in and out of marriages like a revolving door. I would like to think of marriage as a final destination; you’ve stopped everywhere else and now it’s time to settle down. I would imagine that people such as my grandparents who have been married for so long had to make a few stops before hand. There’s nothing wrong with exploring the world, traveling, meeting new people and enjoying the single life first. In fact, it’s highly recommended; doing so will allow you to see the value in the trade-off from single to married life.

Look forward to building your first home, and one day sharing it with someone special. Look forward to traveling the world, trying new things and meeting new people, and plan to one day do these things with your wife and family. Look forward to partnering in business with your wife and making future investments together. Look forward to sharing your time, resources, love and money with your wife. View marriage as a life-long investment and plan to be married until death.

Throughout the course of your life, you will meet many people who will come and go. Some will leave because they didn’t belong there in the first place, some will leave because they’ve found someone more worthy of their time, and some will feel they have no further use for you. Life is about building relationships and leaving behind legacies; the more valuable you are to a person, the more they will want you around. When you focus your energy at one area at a time, you can yield the greatest benefits. By choosing someone that you promise to spend the rest of your life with, you are able the channel everything in your power towards their happiness, and that’s the best way to keep a wife. Happy wife, happy life!

Of my two best friends, one of them is married, has two daughters and appears to be very happy. They’ve been together for over 5 years and I’m happy to see that they’re progressing. I’m extremely proud because I know where he used to be in life, and now I see a better man than he ever was. Like any other marriage, they have ups and downs, but they are going through the motions together. When I see him post pictures and messages about his family on Facebook it makes me proud to see that he’s being the quality man of substance that his wife and family deserves.

Anytime a married client comes to me for advice, I don’t offer them a way out; I offer them a way right back in. The only way to work it out is to simply work it out. That’s what being loyal to a marriage is all about, finding the inner strength, the desire and the self-discipline to sustain the union until death. If you walk away from everything in your life that falls apart or isn’t working, you’ll never acquire the knowledge of how to fix things. Loyalty may be a small word but it’s a BIG thing.

It’s easy to just walk away, and if you’re looking for something that is easy, marriage isn’t it. Ask anyone who’s been married or is married and they will tell you that it’s hard work. In fact, this may be one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do in life, but the best part is you won’t have to do it alone. You have a partner who will be there when you laugh, when you cry, when you’re up and when you’re down. You’ll have someone to create new memories with and to cherish the old ones.

Being loyal to your marriage will build character not only in you but also in everyone around you. Your friends will look at you as a beam of hope and will aspire to one day have a partner for life. Your children will respect you for getting it right, showing discipline and being an active part of the family as a whole. Your family and your community will commend you on your diligence and celebrate with you every year and you honor your anniversary. When you are gone, the people who remember you will speak about the things you valued in life and your marriage will be right at the top of that list.

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#ManDayBlog Every Woman Loves A Man Who Is Financially Responsible

Two things that we men value most in life are our time and our money. Our time gives us the opportunity to build relationships, find happiness and make a difference in this world. Our money helps us to further reach those goals. In order to be successful at building relationships, finding happiness and making a difference in the world, we must learn to properly manage one of the things that help us to do so. Our money has the power that we give it, but before we give it, we must place some sort of value on it.

When I was a kid, I placed high value on pennies, but apparently not everyone did. I would find pennies in the couch, outside on the ground on the floors of stores, you name it. Since nobody else wanted them, I would pick them up, put them in my piggy bank and over time would wrap them up in 50-cent wrappers and spend them. I remember asking my family members to save their pennies just for me. They happily obliged and every time I saw them, I had a few dollars that I could spend (in pennies). These brown, dirty coins meant the world to me because it afforded me everything that I wanted at the time.

My appreciation for pennies as a child has helped me tremendously as an adult because I learned how to appreciate money right down to the cent. I also realized that if I wanted to have more than just pennies, I wouldn’t find them lying around on the ground, in my couch or on the floor of a grocery store, but I had to earn it. My mother had 5 boys and 1 girl, so if you can imagine, money had to stretch over all of us, and if we wanted anything extra, we had to earn it. My siblings and I caught on to this early on and began our entrepreneurial endeavors. We knew that no matter how much money we earned while we were out hustling, we had to make it stretch over time.

I would always wonder where my older brothers were getting their extra money from, because I knew for sure that my mom wouldn’t dare overlook me (the obedient one) lol and give only to my brothers. They finally let me in on their secret and told me they were bagging groceries at Shop Rite at Route 440 in Jersey City. I was excited because this was something that I could do; all I had to do was get my older brothers to take me with them. They soon obliged and I immediately went to work bagging groceries, pushing their carts to their car and getting tipped for my good service.

I had more money in my pocket than ever (tax free), not that I knew what taxes were at 9 years old. Now what to do with all this money, hmmmm? I bought popcorn, pretzels, a hero, oodles of noodles, a case of soda, fruit snacks, and kept the rest for a rainy day. I was in HEAVEN! The best part was we all had our own money, so we didn’t have to try our usual scheme to mooch off of one another’s dough. This was my first taste of financial independence; money that I earned on my own that didn’t come from mom.

As the money came and went, I quickly learned what it meant to earn a living and be financially responsible. I enjoyed when the money came, and was sad when the money went. I had to figure out how to get the money to stay in my account otherwise I’ll never truly be financially free. I know, these aren’t the typical worries of a 9 year old, but my entrepreneurial spirit kicked in early! I wanted what I wanted when I wanted it and I didn’t want to have to depend on my mother to give it to me.

For a lot of young men, there are no lessons on what to do with a dollar once he gets it. This often results in a boy who grows into a man not understanding the value of money. When there’s no value in principle placed on a dollar, he’ll treat it as if it’s just a dollar. But no, it’s more than just $1, it’s a tool that can help you build anything you want in life, all you need is a blueprint. When you think about an infrastructure, there’s a blueprint for what you foresee coming to life in the future. There’s also an advisory board consisting of stakeholders, contractors, and investors who are involved in the process of the development.

Before the shovel even hits the dirt, there is a plan on what to do with every dollar invested; also known as a budget. This budget is designed to invest in anything that will add value to your progress and help avoid any overspending. This way when you decide to go into your bank account to make withdrawals, you have a certain amount allocated to whatever it is you’re doing while leaving some left over. Without a budget, you’ll be prone to empty out the entire account and spend with no end in sight. This is fast and easy way to stay broke, by not budgeting your money.

Figure out what your expenses are on a daily, weekly, monthly and yearly basis and try to keep them at a minimum. If you can avoid adding on new expenses, by all means do so. Your fixed expenses such as your rent, car note, cell phone bill, transportation, food, etc should be accounted for in advance. If your expenses outweigh your income, you’ll either have to cut down your expenses or figure out a way to generate more income. Maybe a cheaper rates plan on your cell phone, or cut down on driving and take public transportation. The idea is to balance out your account to where you have more coming in than going out.

This will help you gain the financial freedom that you desire which will give you more time to spend with your friends, family and loved ones. With all of these things, you will gain peace of mind. Managing your money isn’t something that’s impossible; it’s simply something that you have to work towards. You have to learn to respect the money that you earn, and use it to invest in things that will yield a return. The more you invest in things that yield a return, the more returns you’ll have coming in. If you spend every dollar that you have, you’ll have to work longer and harder to keep money coming in.

If you’re working a full-time and you’re always broke, it’s not the income that’s the problem it’s the outcome. The money is there, but the person who possesses it isn’t making the best use of it. Anytime you get a dollar in your hand you should think to yourself, “How can I turn this $1 into more?”. If you have that kind of attitude towards money, you’ll find yourself on the receiving end of more it. Work smarter, not harder.

When I was 6 years old, I was hit by a car and the judge awarded me a large settlement that I would receive once I turned 21. When I was 6 I would say I would use the money to buy my mom a house, and would disregard any sibling who was ever mean to me. Lol As I grew older, as my feelings towards my mother changed (typical kid) and as my expenses grew my mind slowly changed. I was a sophomore in college and boy could I use the money. I took a lump sum as opposed to receiving payments every 5 years.

I thought to myself “Tomorrow’s not promised, and if I’m smart about my investment, I’ll have made far more money than this settlement could offer by the time I’m able to receive it”. I invested in a new laptop, made a payment on my school tuition, put some in the bank, and invested $10,000 into my new photography equipment. To date, I’ve made that money many times over with my photography business and am very much satisfied with the decision I’ve made to pursue my passion. I could’ve went on a crazy shopping spree with all that money, but that would not yield me any future return. The goal for me was to invest in something that could forever generate income.

When you make your first investment, and it goes well, share it with your close family members and friends. This is a great way to build relationships with them and to show them where you are in life. When people see that you are buying your first home, starting your own business, or giving to charity, you’ll motivate them to do the same. People want to be surrounded by positive and successful people, so make sure that you make the cut. The way to get invited into one of these circles is to simply focus on your life, your business and your finances and work towards success.

All it takes is discipline, a set of goals and a plan of action and you are on your way to becoming the financially responsible adult you are destined to be. This will help boost your esteem, improve your level of confidence, increase your chances of a successful relationship with a woman, and expand your network. When your money is right, you’ll have more room to have fun and enjoy life, which you’ll likely want to do now that you can afford it. You’ll go out more, meet new people and experience new things, and that’s what life is all about. Before you can distribute the money, you first have to learn how to handle the money.

Figure out your strong points, your passion, and your desire, then work in a field that will help you grow spiritually as well as financially. Pay your tithes, pay yourself, and then take care of your other expenses. Have a set amount of money that you keep in savings each month and avoid the temptation to spend it. Invest in others not only in money but also with your time and you will open up doors that yield great financial and spiritual returns. Have a budget set aside for emergencies, charitable giving and personal leisure. With all the money and blessings that come your way, don’t forget to give back and create opportunities for generations to come.

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#FreeAdviceWednesday Question Of The Week “I’m in my 40s and lonely…”

Q: Hi Cheyenne, I’m in my 40’s no children, never been married, I have a few degrees under my belt, I have my own car, house and own properties, but my relationships don’t last. I love to travel, I’m very outgoing and I’ve even tried dating sites, but all the men seem to want to do with me is have sex. They don’t want any real commitment. I do want to get married and have children quite soon, but I’m having the hardest time meeting the right one, and worst, someone who wants me for just me, not my money and my body. What am I doing wrong?

A: Hi thanks for sharing. On paper, you seem like an amazing woman, now all we have to do is get that message to translate into real life. First, I want you to stay optimistic about your love life because your 40s is still very young. Also, I don’t want you to feel pressured into settling for just any man, or having a baby just to have a baby. We have enough fatherless babies, so get artificial insemination out of your head RIGHT now! Stay focused on your goals, and continue to work on you until the right man for you comes into your life. Men look to be the protectors and the providers, so your money, degrees and cars won’t appeal to him. A man can get sex from anywhere, so if you’re looking for substance, using your looks/sex isn’t the way to get him either. When a man is finally ready to settle down, he doesn’t use his eyes to look for a woman, he uses his heart. So in order for you to attract a quality man of substance you simply have to be a quality woman of substance. Do this simply by loving yourself and loving others. Depending on what he sees in you, a man will look at the soul of a woman and say “This is what I need in my life forever” or “This is what I need in my life right now“. It’s your job to work on yourself and influence what he sees in you as a woman. You don’t have to be perfect, just perfect for him! Men are very simple. All we want is Food, Sex And Peace Of Mind! Before giving him what he wants, make sure he has all that he needs. This action is what will differentiate you from the average woman, and it’s what will keep him longing for your love and affection. Give a man what he needs and make him earn what he wants. A wife is a “help mate”, and a woman should already be a wife before the marriage. Your car, your home, your businesses and your degrees aren’t the type of help a man looks for in a wife. So in order for you to attract a man who is looking for a wife, you need to take the time to get to know yourself and figure out how you can be of greater help,not just to yourself, but to the man you see in your future. This is the key to attracting that quality man of substance.

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Introduce Her To Your Family & Friends

I love spending time with my family because it’s a great opportunity to just relax and be myself. This time together is sacred, and not everyone is welcome to join the circle. I value their opinions, I respect their homes and their privacy, and the feelings are mutual. When the holidays come around, and it’s time to reunite, everyone brings their significant other and their kids, and if they’re single they bring themselves. If a woman was invited to a family function, that meant she was somebody important, and she knows it.

I had a buddy back in college (Lane) who was dating a woman who had a young child, she modeled as a hobby and I believe she was a student as well. I didn’t have to meet her to know that she wasn’t the one, I simply deduced based on the information given. I was going to school in Texas so when the holidays came around, I would go back home to New York, but would inquire as to what his plans were. He would go on to tell me about all the delicious food his family was planning on making and the relatives he would connect with, but made no mention of his lady. This was no surprise to me because I already knew that she wasn’t someone he was taking seriously for a multitude of reasons.

I would soon meet her and sure enough she was a beauty on the outside, but I didn’t see the value on the inside. It was now clearer to me why he kept her around his circle, but didn’t invite her in it. She was good enough for him to invite to bed, but not good enough to invite back home. Months and years had passed and the holidays came back around, and I would ask him again what are your plans. And he would say the same thing about visiting family, a smorgasbord of food, and the whole nine, but no lady.

We would talk, laugh and joke, and then we somehow started talking about his mom and then his girlfriend. So I asked him, “Have you ever introduced her to your mom” and he replied “Hell no!” I’m 22 at the time so forgive me, but we both laughed hysterically because we knew what that meant for her. To be in a relationship with someone for 2+ years, and have not met the most important people in a man’s life (particularly his mother/sister), that says a lot about the relationship. Obviously, that also said a lot about Lane.

He was wasting this poor woman’s time, and leading her to believe that she was someone of significance knowing full well that she wasn’t. Poor girl, I’m sure she wanted to feel significant, she wanted to meet his family, but simply didn’t know how to require it. 8 years later, neither one of them are together and have pursued new people. Hopefully she learned a valuable lesson about the value of her time. Lane got the best of her, but at the same time, he showed the worst of him and that’s nothing to be proud of.

There’s no value in stringing women along and wasting their time because your time is being wasted too. Not only are you blocking her from meeting someone that values her, but you are also blocking yourself meeting someone that you value. On the one hand, she’s foolish for falling into the trap, but on the other hand, you’re at fault for setting it. Women look to men for leadership, and that’s nothing you should look to take advantage of. This could be your daughter, your sister, or your mother who’s being led astray.

When it comes to dating and relationships, you have to think long-term. Right from the moment you meet her you should give her a thorough evaluation. Ask yourself some questions like: Could I wake up to her every morning for the rest of my life? Would I want to introduce her to my mother? Is this someone I would want to have children with? Keep these questions in the back of your mind as we lead up to them in a moment.

Before you get anywhere with a woman, you’ve got to check her out and see what she’s about. Is she confident, does she have high-esteem, is she ambitious, is she courageous, is she educated, is she goal and career oriented? The standards and requirements for dating differ from person to person, but you should look for the things you like up-front. This will help you determine whether or not you should move forward. If she passed the test, then it’s time to get started with the pursuit.

Walk up to her and introduce yourself, and get a feel of her energy. Did she receive you well, is she open to conversation, does she seem genuinely interested, is she reluctant to give information? Hopefully you were able to walk out of there with her contact information and can get to know her a little better. Remember, this is your life we’re talking about, your legacy, and you’re doing your due diligence to find a suitable partner. Hopefully this partner is going to be introduced not only to your family, but also to the world.

Too often do we skip over the process called “Getting To Know Each Other” which results in getting yourselves emotionally involved prematurely. Instead, take your time, do it right so that won’t have any future regrets. If you’re investing your time in it, and you are devoted to it, you should be proud to announce it from the mountaintops. If you feel the need to hide it or you are ashamed of it, perhaps you shouldn’t be involved in it. Sure, it’s easy to connect with someone when it’s convenient, but at what cost?

I grew up with 5 brothers and 1 sister, and many male cousins, and even as a child I knew that when a man brings a woman home, she’s significant. It would bring shame to my mom if my brothers brought home random women to our family gatherings. “What kind of men did I raise” would be the thoughts crossing her mind. For me, bringing a woman home was a proud moment; it was a sign that I was committed and trying out this whole relationship thing. The first time I brought a woman home to my mom, I was a freshman in college.

I was 18 years old and this was my first real relationship. We were both student athletes, but she was a senior, had a great job, her own car, but more importantly she was into me. I thought I was the MAN! Here I am, the new kid on the block and I managed to snatch up a senior in college who was quite in demand herself. I snatched her up quick and by the summer, I introduced her to my mother.

At that age, I didn’t know what I was doing as it pertains to relationships; I just got out of an 18 year relationship with my parents. The point is I wanted to show my girlfriend at the time how I felt about her. I felt she was important enough to meet the people who were important to me. My mother liked her, but then again my mother likes everybody. My brothers liked her and she was liked at our school too.

Were we going to get married and live happily ever after? Probably not, I was too uncertain about my own future at that age, let alone a future with a woman. I was simply putting into practice the treatment I felt the woman in my life deserved. She also introduced me to her family, and I felt it was an appropriate gesture. My family is an important staple in my life, so when the right women comes along and proves herself worthy, it only makes sense for them to meet.

She wants to meet the best friend you can’t stop talking about, or joking with over the phone. She wants to meet your child that you can’t stop bragging about. She wants to be invited over for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner with the family and treated like she’s a part of the family. She wants to be able to interact and communicate with your family members without you being around. She wants to feel as though you are planning to make her an official part of your family.

Your time is the most valuable thing you have in this world, but know that your time is limited. Not only is your time limited on this earth, but a woman will only you so much of her time before she realizes you are wasting it. She wants to feel as if she is a part of something special, and that will require you to show her more than just you. She wants to be included in things that are near and dear to your heart. And more importantly, she wants to be given a title.

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The Power Of Monogamy

Let me start off simply by saying that there a billions of women in the world, and you only need one. No matter where you go, you will always find extraordinary women who will blow your mind and the fact is, you simply cannot have them all. There will be tall women, short women, big women, small women, and women whose curves are so unbelievable you can’t even describe. While it may be fun to chase as many women as your heart desires at the beginning stages of your life, it will prove to add very little value to your life as you get older and start walking in your purpose. Don’t feel bad, it’s perfectly normal for a man to explore and see what’s out there in the world, this is why they call getting married “settling down”.

Not to mention, the more successful you become as a man, the more women will want to associate with you. And not just any women, but the one’s you’ve always dreamed of. You know, coke bottle shape, gorgeous face, great in bed, don’t talk much and on top of that is a “magician” and knows when to disappear. The one’s that don’t ask questions, will go along with anything, and don’t require much. The reason why these women should remain in your dreams is because they won’t add value to your life in reality. They will take you further and further away from being the quality man of substance you are destined to be and from walking in your purpose.

Once you grow up and mature, you will look back to those same women who didn’t have any requirements, no standards, and were down for whatever and say “I need more”. When you reach a higher level of maturity, your values will shift and you will begin to go after what you need as opposed to what you want. This state of mind will humble you and give you a greater appreciation not only for yourself, but for other women. Learning to value and respect women is the key that will unlock the door to more positive relationships with other women, which will eventually lead to your happiness in a healthy relationship. This process doesn’t happen overnight, it will take you some time to experience the bad before you appreciate the good.

After ripping and running from your mid teens into your late 20s and lord forbid your 30s+, the world around you will start to look at your life and want to see progress/results. How does your personal decisions in relationships effect others people’s association with you? I’m glad you asked. 🙂 Your relationship choices shows your level of discipline, commitment, loyalty and devotion or the lack thereof. We all reserve the right to be selective when it comes to our relationships, however the choices we make will heavily influence how closely people on the outside looking in will choose to associate. People want to know that you are committed to something, whether it be getting back into shape, saving money, charitable giving, community service, raising a child, marriage or whatever.

The beauty in committing to someone or something in your life is the value the comes from it. When you commit to something, not only are you showing the recipient that you value the relationship, but you will inevitably be on the receiving end that comes with that union. Loyalty may be a small word, but it’s a BIG thing. Maturity and growth is a part of growing up and it’s essential to your success in life. You might have a favorite shirt that you liked that over time you simply grew out of, and when you grew out of it you were forced to go out and look for something better. Had you held onto that shirt, not only will it begin to depreciate, but the people around you will also see that your fear and/or reluctance to upgrade.

When it comes to relationships, women who are seriously looking to commit want to make sure that they are teaming up with the best. She wants the security of knowing that you are capable of taking care of yourself and have the heart to take care of her. The first thing she’ll notice is the way you dress and carry yourself. This information should give you a heads up on how to prepare yourself for a relationship with other people. It’s time to let go of the old, and upgrade to the new. That means a new attitude, new perspective, new heart, mind and spirit.

For so long, we’ve been cheating ourselves and spreading ourselves thin thinking that the best thing that could ever happen to us is getting fast and easy benefits from a woman. Getting benefits from a woman that you did not earn only yields short term success. It’s only a matter of time before either you get bored, or she requires more. Hopping from one woman to the next not only wastes your energy and money, but it always waste valuable time that you can never get back, and it effects your credibility as a quality man of substance.

The same way us men don’t want a woman who’s been around the block and back is the same way women feel. There’s no pride in knowing that the women you work with, went to school with, or for heaven’s sake went to church with have all had a turn with you. It’s just as shameful for a woman who’s dating a manwhore as it is for you dating a woman with a promiscuous past. A man should take pride in saving himself for marriage just as a woman should, and protect him name, reputation, and credibility at all costs. After all, this is the name that you eventually plan to share with a woman, and no woman wants to take on a name that’s tainted.

But never mind the marriage for a second, as a man it’s important that you have respect amongst your peers. If you don’t have respect amongst your peers, then they certainly won’t have respect for your marriage. Marriage is a full-time job, so before stepping into it, take on the job of being single, building up a positive name for yourself, getting your life in order, and preparing for the obstacles that will come when inviting a woman into your life. A marriage is a partnership, however you first have to become a suitable partner. Being in a marriage will be so much more enjoyable when you know your value and are able to consistently contribute your share to the union.

One of the most popular reasons for divorce is sheer boredom, followed swiftly by finances. While single, you have the opportunity to work on both having your finances in order and developing a tolerance for other people’s thoughts and feelings. Committing to something for life is not something that you’re being forced to do, so if you choose to go through with marriage, have a plan! If you don’t plan for your marriage to succeed, then your marriage will eventually fail. If you plan accordingly, marriage will add tremendous value to your life and will continue to add value until death.

Many people bail out on marriage because it’s not what they thought it would be. When many people think of marriage, they foolishly believe that there won’t be any struggles, and that is far from true. In a marriage, you will experience new problems, problems that didn’t apply to a sex-driven relationship where both parties were simply looking to have a good time. No, you see now there are real issues, real responsibilities, and real crisis that demand your attention. You will say to yourself “This is all new to me” on many occasions, just know that your wife will be saying the same thing. This is all new to you both because you have upgraded your relationship and are transitioning into new things.

What a married couple has that a regular boyfriend/girlfriend relationship doesn’t is the promise that no matter what, they will stick together through the good, the bad and the ugly. That’s the power of monogamy, you’ve got somebody who’s got you. You ever look on an application where it asks you your “relationship status”? It never asks about the girlfriend because the word “girlfriend” in and of itself is enough evidence to show that the relationship has not yet grown to it’s full maturity, so it is too soon to even acknowledge. A marriage on the other hand indicates that you have declared before the courts, God and witnesses that you have chosen to be with this person and vice versa for life.

There’s a sense of pride in being able to declare your love, loyalty and commitment to someone before the courts, God and witnesses. You’ve just done something with your life that will forever be a part of your legacy. You’ve made a name for yourself, worked hard to become a quality man of substance, and then finally you’ve shared this honor with someone else. That’s more than you can say for your past relationships, but this time, you’re committed forever. Part of the reason your past relationships didn’t last was because you never planned for it.

Most of your past relationships were based on everything except the most important thing of all, love! If love isn’t the foundation in your relationship, everything that you build on top of it will eventually crumble because it wasn’t solid enough to hold it together. Yes, marriage is forever but there’s nothing to fear if you’ve chosen the best partner to enjoy the rest of your life with. You don’t lose your independence when you exchange the rings, you gain something new called “Interdependence”. That means that you no longer have to do everything all by yourself, you can depend on each other.

Let me break it down a little further for the brothers who are still on the fence about this “Declaration Of Interdependence”. When you get married, hopefully you will have reached a level of maturity where you are 100% done with flirting, dating and sleeping with multiple women. More importantly, it is my great hope that you have finally found a woman who is not perfect, but is perfect for you. She accepts you for who you are, and is dedicated to helping you become even better than the way she found you. When you think of your wife, not only are you excited about your future, but you have no intentions on ever returning to the women from your past.

What you’ve just done for yourself and for your lady is you’ve upgraded the relationship, and that is a sure sign of growth. First you started out as friends, then dating, then a couple, then engaged, and then marriage. The relationship is constantly growing, reaching new heights and the sky is the limit. If you’re starting to get bored, all that means is you’re not actively working towards continually upgrading the relationship. There is so much you can do to add value to your marriage like have children, adopt children, exercise, travel the world, start a new business, just to name a few.

That’s the beauty of a marriage, you get to upgrade different facets of your life with someone who actually signed up for it. Together you will figure out how to keep a roof over your head, clothes on your back, food on your table and romance in the bedroom. It will give you peace of mind having this security in your relationship which will allow you to be a better man, a better husband, a better father and a better leader. Lacking discipline when it comes to relationships is something that holds many men back from being successful in life. So much time, energy, effort and money is wasted trying to conquer women that he never masters the art of being with a woman.

Women of substance don’t look to marry just anything, they have standards, and after building yourself up to be a quality man of substance you’re going to be more than ready to meet her. There’s no need to feel pressured into getting marriage, I’m simply sharing the value that comes with it. Marriage isn’t for everybody, marriage is only for the ready. If you’re going to make a life-long commitment, build yourself up first so that you’ll have the knowledge, the skills and the tools you need to maintain it. Happy wife, happy life!

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Take Care Of Home

There’s nothing more important in this world than family. Your family comes before your job, before your friends and before your personal interests. These are the people who stand by you through thick and thin, who support you when you’re up and when you’re down and who love you unconditionally. They’re significant in your life and they make a difference in your life, which is all the more reason why you should put them first. People will come and go throughout the years, but your family will always be there. Take pride in being a family man because peace of mind starts right at home.

When your house is in order, you’ll be in a much better mood to tackle the rest of your day, and it will show in your attitude. You’ll smile more, speak more and shine a light on everyone around you. It will give you great pleasure that not only is there peace in the home, but you were a contributing factor.

Every Woman Loves A Well Dressed Man

As you grow and mature, show should your wardrobe. When you’re a child, it’s cool to wear sneakers that light up, jeans with all types of crazy designs and hats with your favorite cartoon characters on them, but when you’re an adult, not so much. The first thing people will notice when they see you is your attire, so give them a good show. From your hair-cut, to your outfit to your shoes, be sure to present yourself as the person you want to be known and remembered as.

Growing up in a house full of boys, I didn’t know WHAT to wear. I was too busy trying to dress like my older brothers. For years, my mom would try to nip that in the bud by dressing us all alike, but as we grew older, we wanted our own unique style. If my older brothers said it was cool, then it was, and if they didn’t I would still rock it with pride, defending it to the death. I had the good fortune of getting many hand-me-downs because I was much smaller than my older brother. Once they grew out of it, I gladly stepped into it.

Finally, I got to incorporate my older brother’s style into my wardrobe which was constantly growing. Even if the clothes didn’t fit me, I would find a way to make it work. We had lots of different ways to make our clothes last because we had to. The only time we went clothes shopping was during back to school season. For the rest of the year, we knew not to ask my mom to shop for anything! We had clothes from the previous year that we would reuse until that couldn’t be used anymore.

We could cut jeans into shorts, dye jeans black, or bleach them white; whatever we had to do to make them last. We didn’t have a lot of clothes, but no matter what, we were always sharp. Especially on Sundays, my mom didn’t play when it came to our “Sunday outfit”. We were “suited and booted” each and every Sunday, all dressed in the same cut suit. People always thought that me and two of my older brothers were triplets, and I would say “No, it’s just the suits”. lol

There was a lot of pressure growing up in the NY area to dress a certain way. For us, the latest fashion was Air Force One’s, Timberland boots, NY fitted caps and the big puffy goose coats. There was nothing particularly special about these things, they simply were apart of our culture at the time. And since everybody else had them, we wanted them. My mom never succumbed to the pressures of buying into the propaganda, she would simply stick to her regular once a year shopping habits. Thank God she did, otherwise I would be a total wreck trying to keep up with name brands and such.

In fact, I didn’t even know what a name brand was until I was in the fourth grade. I remember because I had gotten my very first pair of Nike’s. I was attending a new school, and someone made a comment saying “Oh I see you’ve got name brands”. I smiled and was like “Yea!” but in my head, I thought “what in the world is a name brand”. Prior to this instance, name brands meant nothing to me, I was simply happy to have a new pair of sneakers on my feet that I liked. After school I asked my older brother Shane “What is a name brand” and he gave me the answer.

Apparently, having name brand clothes and shoes some sort of stamp of approval amongst the people who thought they were cool. From that point on, I made a point to request name brand shoes when we went shopping. Of course, when we went shopping the name brands cost much more than regular sneakers, which resulting in me settling for a pair of sneakers that had the Nike brand, but was as ugly as sin. I didn’t have any clothes to match it, they weren’t diverse and could work with any occasion and it didn’t add any value to my life. I had been sucked into the vicious cycle that many of has become victims to.

When you’re a kid, you’re not concerned with the cost of things, because it’s not coming out of your pocket. All you can think about is making a good impression on your friends at school. You don’t want the cool kids to pick on you because of your poor style of dress or worst, being laughed at by the girls. You want to feel good about yourself, and please others at the same time. During the early stages of your life, finding your own identity will be one of the greatest struggles you will face in your life.

As you grow older and mature, your values will begin to change, as should your style of dress. Your goals are higher and your network larger, your vision clearer and your confidence stronger. Over time you’ve learned how to value the person who goes into the clothes and not merely the clothes themselves. You’ve told yourself over and over how valuable you are, how intelligent you are and how good looking you are. And then as you begin to dress yourself, you tell yourself “I look even better with these clothes”.

Your style of dress will change dramatically depending on where you are in life. I’ve had the good fortune of living in New York, New Jersey, Atlanta, and Texas, an each state had their own unique style. New York and New Jersey had very similar taste, however Atlanta and Texas was a whole nother world. In Atlanta the boys would actually tuck their jeans into their socks; strange, but it was their thing. In Texas, the boys would use a ridiculously excessive amount of starch on their jeans; very strange, but it was their thing.

No matter where I lived, I tried my best to adjust based on a number of things: who I was, where I was and the people who were around me. I wanted to “do as the Romans did” while I was in Atlanta, but also maintain my New York swag. I tried my best to hold onto my New York accent, and would occasionally tuck my socks into my jeans. While in Texas, I literally used an entire can of starch on my jeans and still could not get it right. I was losing myself trying to fit in; it did nothing for my budget, nothing for my credibility and nothing for my peace of mind.

In my junior year of high school, I transferred to Saint Anthony high school in Jersey City, NJ where I immediately joined the popular basketball program. Thank God we had a uniform that we wore everyday because I did not want to have to explain to my teammates why I was tucking my jeans into my socks or super creasing my pants. I would’ve ruined any possibility of a friendship with the guys, and I could forget about getting a date with the girls. Even with our uniforms the guys would figure out a stylish way to finagle their individuality. It wasn’t enough to wear khakis, you weren’t cool until you got the ones with pockets in them.

After graduation, I moved back to Texas and attended Texas Wesleyan University, but I refused to crease my jeans. “I’m a New Yorker”, I thought to myself “and I will stick to my Air Force One’s, Timberland boots, baggy clothes and NY fitted caps. I was the MAN during that period of my life, but still growing. All of the girls at college loved the way I dressed, my NY swag, and my NY accent. Down south they treat New Yorkers like we’re celebrities!

One of the problems that I faced was when I went back to NY, there was nothing special or unique about the way I dressed, my accent or my NY swag. Everyone and their mother had it! It was so bad, that you could hardly recognize a lot of the people because they all looked the same. The same Air Force One’s, Timberland boots, White T-Shirt, blue NY fitted cap and bubble coat (if it was winter). I was a statistic and it was all my fault; I didn’t know how to dress. Even my long braids was a fashion fad that was getting old.

I tried to apply to a job in NY and they said “No braids”. I loved my braids, but I was not going to let a hairstyle get in the way of my future. I remember the day, it was June 5, 2005 when I cut them and it felt good letting go. I felt like a grown man, and not only did I let go of the braids, I let go of the baggy clothes, Air Force One’s, Timberland Boots, and bubble coats. My new closet consisted of shoes, slacks, blazers, suits, ties, button down shirts, sweaters, vests and overcoats that fit. I’ve managed to completely re-invent myself by doing away with childish things and started walking, talking and dressing like a man. I wanted to look the way I felt, so I did away with everything that made me look like a boy running around the streets of Brooklyn and started to dress like a man who runs New York.

Sometimes in order to change your life you have to change your ways; this will require a complete destruction of your old self and a reconstruction of your new self. Now, when you walk into a room people will want to know who you are, what you do and even wear you shop. Women will be attracted because you dress and carry yourself like a man of purpose, an effective leader, and a role model. You will spark interest in others which will result in exclusive invitations into their social circles simply because you appear as if you belong. Finally, you will feel better about yourself as a man because now you’ve done more than simply made an adjustment to your wardrobe, you’ve made an adjustment to your attitude, and an even greater adjustment to your life.

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Every Woman Loves A Man Who Can Cook

There’s nothing like coming home to a nice home-cooked meal prepared by someone you love. You can tell the dish was made with love because they took their time to make sure that the flavors were just right, cooked to perfection and then served. Every cook who takes pride in their work can’t wait to hear that “Mmmm” sound after they take their first bite because that lets them know that their mission was accomplished. Food is without a doubt the way to a man’s heart, but guess what? Women love to eat too! You’ll find that amongst many other things, a woman loves a man who knows how to cook.

If you don’t know how to cook, learn how. It’s important for any man to know how to work his way around the kitchen not just for the sake of his lady, but for his own sake. Not only will learning how to cook fill your belly, but it will also build your character. Everything you learn can be taught, and cooking is one of those things that never goes out of style.You can make an evening of it, invite friends over for a pot luck, have one friend chop this, another boil that, while the others peel something else. Invite over a nutritionist or a professional chef to give you some pointers on how to make cooking healthy, easy and fun.

If you have children, there will be nights and days where you will have to prepare a meal for them, and it helps to be prepared ahead of time. You’ll be surprised how easy it is to prepare and cook meals even with limited supplies once you have the skills. Most kids want fast food (i.e. Cheeseburgers, pizza, chicken nuggets, etc). You can use this information to not only prepare a meal that you know they’ll love, but you can also include them. You see now, you’ve created the perfect bonding opportunity for you and your family. You can show them how to properly season, the right temperature to cook at, and use a timer to make sure nothing gets overcooked.

Kids love to be included in family activities that are fun, and cooking is certainly one of them. I remember as a kid, my mom would bake cakes, and my brothers and I would always volunteer to help. There were so many things we could do like crack the eggs, pour in the milk/water/oil/batter, and mix everything together. There were 4 boys in the house so we had to share the responsibilities, which was another thing we learned. We got a chance to set the oven and put the cake inside and when it was finished, we would all help put icing on the cake. Our favorite part was when we got to lick the bowl. 🙂

My mother knew how much we loved those special moments so she would include us as often as possible. After awhile, my mother no longer needed to micromanage us in the kitchen; we had baked caked so many times, we could do it with our eyes closed. We would talk, laugh, sing and dance in the kitchen as we prepared a delicious cake that we would later enjoy. My mom could’ve very well made the cake on her own and would’ve gotten finished with it 5 times faster without us, but it wasn’t about the cake. My mother was creating an environment where we could enjoy one another company.

It’s a good thing she knew how to cook because my step-father’s idea of a home-cooked meal was “Franks and Beans”. Anytime my mother went out of town, we would all look at each other like “What are we going to eat” lol. We had a skillet that plugged into the wall, and when my step-dad cooked chicken inside of it, it would make this delicious crispy chicken and skin that we loved. That was the extent of his cooking and we would soon resort to “Oodles Of Noodles”. We were young boys at the time, so we would make it work for the few days my mom would go away. When my mom finally returned, we would run to her and beg her never to leave again as if she were Jesus!

We missed my mom’s home cooked meals dearly and we were ever so happy to have her back. My step-dad missed the opportunity to bond with us over that weekend probably because his dad missed it with him. This is a cycle that can be broken and should be broken. Rolling up your sleeves and getting down in the kitchen isn’t a job just for women, it’s a job for anyone who wants to have a decent meal. While you’re single, you should be developing these skills on your own, which will add tremendous value to your relationship when you have one. In fact, you may even find love while shopping for groceries; there are plenty of single and eligible candidates right in your local market.

Eating out can get quite expense, not to mention you’ll have no creative control over what actually goes into your food. You’ll save a ton of money by going grocery shopping, preparing your own meals and eating in. You’ll also learn a lot about yourself during this process, like the kind of foods you like, foods you’d love to try, and dishes you enjoy preparing the most. You can create your own menu, perfect your signature dishes and who knows, one day you may even write a cook book or become a chef. There are so many wonderful possibilities that can stem from you learning how to cook.

Eating is something that no one can live without, so by learning how to supply this demand, you can make yourself indispensable in that area. Any woman who knows me knows that if she cooks for me, she’s my NEW best friend. At my church, they have a ministry for the men called “The Front Liners”, and at our bi-monthly meetings we talk about God, life and relationships. I know what you’re thinking, “What’s in it for me?” In addition to the food for the soul that we receive at these meetings, they also provide food for the body, and that has managed to pack the house every time. It’s not rocket science, it’s simply common knowledge that people are more likely to show up at places where there will be food.

Have you ever hosted a Thanksgiving dinner for your friends and family at your home? You would if you knew how to cook! It’s fun to entertain other people with your gifts, however it’s impossible to give out something that you are without. Don’t be ashamed to go online, ask a friend, or turn to a family member for cooking lessons. I’m sure if you provided the food and ingredients that they would love the idea of coming over to teach you how to prepare your favorite dishes. Give it a try, plan a day in advance and invite over a few of your closest family members, friends and relatives. You will come out of the deal will all sorts of delicious dishes and plenty of leftovers, but most of all, you’ll have a great bonding opportunity with your loved ones.

The internet is filled with great recipes on any and everything you could possibly imagine. Subscribe to your favorite YouTube channels and stay updated on their latest creations.There are plenty of other men just like you who feel they don’t have the time, the energy or the skills to cook a decent meal. Once you make a conscious effort to make your cooking ideas become a reality, you can take pride of showing the world otherwise. Post pictures and recipes on your social networks, inspire people who are or were just like you, and show that anyone can cook.

My grandfather Hayward C. Bostock was a great chef; he studied culinary arts and it showed. As kids, we loved going to his house so that we could spend quality time with our grandparents, but what we looked forward to the most was their cooking. There was never a time where they didn’t have a fancy meal laid out for us; lamb chops, stuffing, collard greens, mac n cheese, you name it! We would pray over the food, sit, eat and talk about whatever was on our minds. After our hearts were content and our bellies were full, we wold reminisce on all the previous delicious meals that came from that kitchen.

At first, we would assume that it was my grandmother who cooked all of the meals because traditionally the women would do the cooking. It was to our amazement that in fact it was my grandfather who did a lot of the cooking. That was a proud moment for us, it gave us a glimpse of the type of man my grandfather was. It showed us that he wasn’t too proud to prepare a meal for his lady, even in his old age. They had been married for about 50 years, and although they had gotten old, he kept things fresh and new in the kitchen.

When it comes to your relationship, preparing a meal for your lady will open up many doors. First, it will open up the doors to her heart; making the time to cater to your woman is a heart-felt gesture. It will open up the doors of conversation, for there will be many flavors, colors and textures to talk about. Not to mention the relaxed environment you’ll create to talk about even more important matters. Now that you’ve shown how much you care without being prompted to do so, she’ll feel inspired to do the same.

Adding this great quality to your life will make a remarkable difference within yourself, amongst your family/friends and with your lady. Women find men who cook to be very attractive, and you don’t want to miss out on the opportunity to fall in that category. If the both of you don’t know how to cook, don’t fret because that is yet another opportunity to bond if she is willing to learn. If you both already know how to cook, even better; take turns preparing meals for one another, and also join forces and create great meals together. Team work makes the dream work!

Ordering out is easy, taking the time to plan and figure out what to eat, how to make it, and then putting it into action can be easy too. You simply have to practice and get in the habit of doing it, and after awhile it will feel natural. Like everything else in life, you won’t know how to do something until you do it. Sometimes you won’t have access to hands on training, or and adviser to walk you through, so have faith in your abilities and you’ll be just fine. You’ll make many mistakes on this journey, but you’ll also make many corrections. And the best part about learning how to cook is the tasting. Enjoy!

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Life & Relationship Coach

-AskCheyB