Letting Go Of Fear!

We have a short gap of time to live on this earth and leave our mark on the world. We’re born, we’re raised, we live our lives, and then we die leaving behind memories that hopefully keep our spirits alive. There’s only but so much a person can do within 100 years, but it’s exciting to see all that we can aspire to accomplish during this time. Your purpose here on this earth isn’t to fulfill the pleasures for a man or to be a slave to another human being, no! Your purpose is to spread love and do it more abundantly!

Fear is something we all face at some point in our lives and sometimes prevents us from reaching our fullest potential. You may find yourself being afraid to let a man get close to you after you’ve had your heart broken. The might be afraid of losing your job; a job that you hate anyway, but you need it to pay your bills. You may even find yourself being afraid of stepping out in the world on your own and gaining your independence. Fear can place a roadblock right between you and your destiny, and it’s up to you to believe in yourself, face your fears, and overcome them.

No one is perfect so it’s ok to get out there, take a chance, experience life, and even make mistakes while you’re at it. Feel free to use your family, your friends, and the people of the world as your guide and learn from their experiences. A fool learns solely from his own experiences; the wise learn from that and the experiences of others. Getting insight from others will in fact prevent you from experiencing certain things you’ll be more than happy to avoid. Always keep an open mind and welcome those who offer insight that could be beneficial to your life.

There are so many places to go, so many people to meet, so many things to see and they’re all within your grasp if you simply believe that you can achieve it. If you desire to be married to a loving, honest, respectable man who protects and provides for you, you can certainly make it a reality if you work towards that goal. If you desire to have a family and travel the world, this too is achievable if you set goals and set out to achieve them. One thing is for certain though; you can’t achieve your goals if you don’t set any!

If you want to travel the world, stop making excuses for why you can’t, and start figuring out a way that you can. If you want to have a husband and a family, let go of your fear of being hurt by someone else and be open to loving again! If you want to become an entrepreneur and take control of your finances, don’t be afraid to invest in yourself and be the best at what you do. There’s no one in this world that can stop you from being your own boss, traveling the world, and having a loving husband and family to tag along for the ride. The only thing standing in your way is you!

Before you know it, this short life will be over, you’ll look back on your accomplishments, and you want to be able to say “I am happy with the way I lived my life!” That’s what life is all about… building relationships and leaving behind legacies! If you’re miserable at the job you’re working at now, let go of your fear and come up with a way to gain your freedom! If you’re in a relationship that doesn’t make you happy, free yourself, explore the world on your own, and be willing to open yourself back up to the new possibilities of love. If you’re unhappy with the neighborhood you’re living in, decide your ideal location, plan an exit strategy, then get up and MOVE!!!

Before all of this technology existed, there was just people, plants, and wild life; now we have tall sky scrapers, planes flying in the sky, cars driving on the roads, computers, cell phones, you name it. All of these things came to existence because someone, somewhere had a vision or an idea, and they took the steps they needed to make it a reality. Steve Jobs is one of the most influential men who lived in our time; he’s no longer with us, but because of the decisions he made with his life, he made a difference in the world that will live forever. Steve Jobs didn’t have anything that’s not available to you or anyone else in the world. What Steve Jobs did was he let go of fear, and sought out to do something that no one else in the world had done.

This too can be you! You can create a blueprint for your life and for your relationships, and you can build upon it day by day until you’ve yielded your perceived results. Success is measured by one’s ability to reach his/her goals, so if you want to be successful, set goals and work towards making your dreams a reality. Don’t allow your life to pass you by, and be left with nothing to show for it; believe in yourself, make the best of your life, and be proud of your accomplishments.

Many times we are our worst enemies! The only thing holding us back from leaving a terrible relationship, a terrible job, or a terrible living situation is you! It’s time to let go of fear and start living for the moment! Open your heart, open your mind, and get ready to explore everything this world has to offer. The sky is the limit, so let go of your fears and get ready for success in your personal and professional life.

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Life & Relationship Coach

-AskCheyB

Gents: First work on the money… then work on the girl!

Some people work to make money and use the money they make to pay bills. Others work to make money and use the money they make to invest in things that will help them achieve financial freedom/secure a future for themselves, their family, and the people they leave behind. It’s important to have a list of priorities in life, and “you” should sit at the very top of that list of priorities. The more you value yourself physically, spiritually, emotionally, and financially, the more others will value you. If you’re working towards being the best man you can be spiritually, physically, emotionally, and financially you’re going to want to find a person who offers the same value you possess.

This issue of making it a first priority prior to be financially independent is a matter of morals, values, character, upbringing, and influences. When the right path isn’t laid out for a young man growing up, his fate rests in the hands of the influences of the world. One major instance in which a man will come to terms with the importance of having financial stability is when he meets his significant other’s father. The mother will be more concerned with how much you love her daughter. The father will be more concerned with what you do for a living and how you plan on providing for his daughter. Better to have a plan of action before meeting the man whom she knows will protect her best interest and advise against you if your plan is not conducive to her future.

A huge part of being an adult is being financially independent and responsible. Being able to make smart decisions with your money are essential to your growth and development in the society we live in. This could mean cutting back on shopping, dates, eating out, driving, etc in order to reduce your everyday expenses and use that money towards savings and investments. The money you save from cutting back on expenses will accumulate over time and accrue interest depending on how/where you invest. But more importantly, this money will come in handy if tragedy were ever to strike and you’re unable to generate income. Not having financial security will leave you dependent on everyone but yourself. <<< A trait that no woman admires.

With or without a woman, you (as a man) are held accountable for the financial decisions you make in life and people (especially women you’re interested in dating) will associate with you in part based on your ability to make money work for you. The actual amount of money you’ve saved or invested isn’t what’s important. What’s important is that you’ve dedicated your time/energy/effort/money into taking steps towards becoming financially independent and securing your future.

Being financially stable will change the way you walk, talk, dress, the company you keep, and it will also play a huge part in the type of women you consider for dating potential. The type of women you consider for a date/relationship/marriage ties into “knowing your worth”. Realizing your worth can mean “I know I’m broke, so let me seek a woman who’s esteem is low enough to take me as is”. Realizing your worth can also mean “I’m financially independent, so now I’m going to seek out a woman who matches or exceeds what I’m bringing to the table, so that in the future we can become financially interdependent, pool our resources together and be a “powerhouse” living a happier/healthier/more prosperous lifestyle. Being a financial powerhouse is not an ultimate solution to finding happiness. Taking good care of your health and loving yourself is something you both should find within yourselves and share with each other. Money+Love+Wellness= Happiness

Women are ultimately attracted to a man based on what he appears to be doing for himself. She becomes even more deeply connected if/when that man is able to also do things for her. If you’re dealing with a woman of substance, she already has her own money in the bank and in no way “needs” yours. However, women like to be catered to (by a man) in more ways than the physical and at “your” expense. She likes to be taken shopping, out to eat, on trips, etc. You won’t need money to “get” the girl, but you certainly will need money to “keep” her.

If you cannot afford to do these things for a woman, the life expectancy of your relationship will end as soon as that woman wakes up and realizes her worth. Without money, there is no real sense of security in that relationship because you as a man didn’t bring security into that relationship to begin with. When unexpected expenses come, and you have no money in the bank to turn to, the burden falls on the woman. As a man, your usefulness will expire if your woman has to take care of any unexpected duties & expenses that the man of the house should be taking care of.

Being with a woman isn’t always, but certainly should be an “investment” in your future, and not an added expense… but not before you invest in “yourself” and become financially independent on your own. Some women would argue that they have no problem accepting a man who doesn’t have any money, but who in fact loves them. If you look closely at “this” particular woman, this gesture is a matter of “low self-esteem”. Women with high esteem, who are accomplished and have everything to show for it, would rather remain single than settle for a man with no money, no goals, and no plans for his future.

There are some cases where a woman of this caliber will get seduced by a man who gives her hope, sells her dreams, and gives her a “false” sense of security, but after years of disappointment, heartache, and pain, the woman awakens from this spell and eventually reverts back to where she started (which is in front of a mirror). Looking in the mirror will allow her the opportunity to take a closer look at her life & her future. From there she realizes her worth and proceeds to work on herself in hopes of finding someone who matches or exceeds everything she brings to the table, and rids herself of “you”.

Whoever you spend your time/energy/effort/money on should be someone you see value in. Someone who can add to everything you’ve already built for yourself. Not every women you meet gets a date! Choose wisely! Otherwise that investment turns into a quite costly expense. Especially if you’re dating multiple women at once (recommended).

If you are a responsible adult male, you have a source of income that helps cover your financial obligations. If your expenses number in the thousands, it makes financial sense to have an emergency fund also numbering in the thousands just to cover those expenses should your source of income expire. BTW having thousands of dollars in your checking and savings account is nothing something that’s uncommon. In fact it’s very common to the financially responsible, as this is an essential part of survival (especially in an unstable economy). It’s called having financial security and every grown adult should have it. If you have no money in your bank account, your paycheck had better cover all of your expenses and then some, because if there’s no “and then some”, you won’t be able to treat “yourself” to the finer things in life, let alone treat a lady the way she likes to be treated because you have no money leftover.

There is a solution to this problem. Focus on “you”! Have a plan! Establish yourself financially so that you can be in the best possible position to meet a woman who’s in her best possible position in life. Focus on gaining financial freedom & security. Once you’ve established yourself, you will see yourself as “more” valuable than that of which you already were. In addition, the women you admire will find you to be more attractive/valuable as they see the time/energy/effort/money you’ve invested in yourself. They see you as someone who is secure, and they want “security” in their lives.

Life & Relationship Coach

-AskCheyB

“Fear”… the thing that stops us from pursuing our dreams and succeeding.

“Fear”… the thing that stops us from pursuing our dreams and succeeding. Each and every one of you has a dream, an aspiration, a goal, but for many… it stops “there”. You tell everyone about what you would like to do, and everyone tells you how great the idea is, and that they can’t wait to see you make it happen, and then you never follow through. You know exactly who to call/email, you have the knowledge and the experience, you have the passion, but there’s something that’s hindering you from  pursuing your dreams, and that thing is nothing more than “You and your fears”.

You’re afraid to be vulnerable, afraid to be rejected, afraid that no one else will understand or appreciate your vision the way you do. Afraid that you might not be able to live up to all the hype you’ve built up about yourself and your vision after all this time you’ve been “working on your craft”. You’re afraid to ask your friends and family members for money and support. Afraid to ask that DJ to play your song in a club where hundreds of people can hear your music and possibly become a fan. You’re afraid to take a chance on “your” dreams and you’re too proud to ask others to take a chance on you.

Social networks have become very addictive, we practically “live” on them, gathering thousands of friends and followers. Everyone knows your mood for the day, and how much drama is going on in your life, yet none of your friends and followers know about your dreams and aspirations. You share your vision with people who will pat you on the back and make you feel better about yourself, but in no way can help you achieve your goals. Those individuals are your safety net, they provide you with “comfort”, and seldom make you face harsh realities or push you towards actually making the things you speak of become a reality.

Better to share your dreams with people who can and will add value to your life, and to ask them to help you reach your goals. When you reach out to people for help, the most you will get is a yes, a no, or a maybe! <<< This is one of people’s biggest fear, but it’s one of the things that has to be overcome. We’re in a world filled with millions of people! Why carry on this vision alone? Don’t be afraid to ask for money, support, or even a position. Be prepared though, for the possibility of receiving 100 “No’s” before you receive 1 “Yes”. Being told no is a blessing in itself! It gives you the space and opportunity to think about why you were told no, and to figure out a way to (at a later time) re-evaluate your pitch/presentation/proposal and get a “Yes” from that very same person.

Take your dream(s), and completely remove “fear” from the equation. When you remove fear, you get “love”. Love is the absence of fear. Love your ability to bake/cook, to minister, to do make-up/hair, to take pictures, to tell stories with your music, to coordinate events, to design clothing, to paint, to help others, or whatever your field of expertise is, and share your vision with the world! When people see that you believe in yourself, it gives them reason to believe in you.

If fear is something you struggle with today, I would like for you to try this exercise:

Imagine you have one day left to live, and the only thing that could save you is if you pursued your dream(s) to no end, as if your life depended on it. How many text messages would you send? How many phone calls would you make? How many doors would you knock on? How many “friends” would you purposely not reach out to? How many hours of that day would you devote to sleeping? How many people would remember the pitch you gave them because they saw the hunger in your eyes and heard the passion in your voice? Use every day you have to live to pursue your dreams so that you can live your dream!

Life & Relationship Coach

-AskCheyB