Online Dating

In this day and age, there are more and more people taking advantage of technology and applying it to their lives. We are no longer in the era of the telegram where our sources of communication were extremely limited. Social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter, and various sites specifically designed for dating have made it easier for people to make a connection for whatever purposes one chooses (keeping in touch with friends, business, dating). There’s no such thing as “online dating”. “Online” is simply the place where the introduction is made between two people.

Anywhere there are women, men will follow, and men will pursue them with the hopes of some day connecting on a romantic level. This is true for social networking sites, the grocery store, school, church, the library, you name it! Men are always on the lookout for women they could potentially get closer to romantically, and especially online. If you’re interested in dating, relationships, or marriage, it’s a great idea to keep an open mind to the possibility of meeting new people any and everywhere people can be found. Since the majority of people spend their time online, there’s a high probability that men will approach you online. The possibilities of meeting someone new and making a love connection right from your computer are endless.

The beauty of meeting someone online is you have the opportunity to research any of your admirers before taking action. Take Facebook for example, you can look through their pictures and get a feel of their personality and character, you can also see their relationship status, what friends you have in common, location, education, career, and other pertinent information all before saying hello. You’ll notice that people on social networking sites always reveal things about themselves; not realizing how much it reflects their character. You could probably learn more about a person’s character in 1 minute by viewing their online profile than in 1 hour of talking to them in person.

Before a man introduces himself to a woman, he studies her momentarily, then figures out exactly what he’s going to say to try and convince her that he’s someone worth knowing. A woman won’t admit it, but she prefers being seduced over hearing the absolute honest truth. A man would love to walk right up to a woman and say “Hey, let’s have sex right now!”, but that doesn’t work well with women. He instead has to be gentle, use a subtle approach, and somehow convince her that he’s after more than just her body. Since you’ve never met this man and you haven’t had the opportunity to fully assess him, your mood+the words that come out of his mouth,+his approach will be the determining factor in his success with you.

Never listen to a man’s words… always follow his actions. When you follow a man’s actions, you will see for yourself what he values, how he carries himself, and how he treats other people. When you listen to a man’s words, he’ll tell you any and everything you want to hear. Thanks to the power of the internet, you can follow a man’s actions without him even saying a word to you. J Since getting to know a man’s character has been made so readily available via his online profile, use this information to your advantage. If you’re a beautiful woman, you’re going to constantly get propositioned for dates on and offline, so instead of closing off the possibility of meeting men online, just do your “research” and be selective.

When you meet someone on the internet, there’s no obligation to actually pursue one another, it’s simply an exchange of words amongst two online friends. You’ll come to find through your conversations and interactions that there are many interesting people right there in your social network that could potentially add value to your life on some kind of level. If they were good enough to be added to your network, they should at least be good enough to entertain in conversation. You don’t have to date any and every person who shows interest in you, but there’s no harm in entertaining the men who do show interest in you. With any and everything you do in life, you want to go where you’re celebrated, not tolerated, so feel free to give those men on your friend list a chance if they prove to be worth it!

If you’re uncomfortable exchanging contact info, you can take advantage of private messaging or instant messaging and get better acquainted right in the comfort of your own home. You don’t lose anything from building relationships with new people; however you could potentially gain a new lover, friend, or even a business partner. You might have a business idea that you’re trying to get off the ground and you need more supporters; what better people to market to than the men right there in your network who show interest in you? This could possibly give them the opportunity to take a genuine interest in your life and you in theirs. #WinWin

No matter where you meet a person, “dating” is something that has to take place in person. When you meet them online, you’re simply granted the opportunity to pre-evaluate them before taking the extra step of meeting them in person. A first date should always be in a public setting simply for safety and comfort anyway, so don’t let fear be an obstacle that you place before you and an admirer. Let go of your fear, and enjoy the people who take an interest in your life no matter where you meet them.

Keep in mind that a man who’s viewing your online profile also has access to your profile pictures, status updates, etc and will very well make a judgment on your character before he approaches you. Men are very visual, so always present yourself in the way you want to be perceived. If for example you’re half naked in your profile picture, you’re going to attract men who are interested in your body as opposed to your heart and mind. They probably won’t even bother reading your profile because they’ve already made the determination that the bedroom is the only place they’re willing to go with you.

Your image reflects who you are as an individual, so don’t think that because it’s “Just Facebook” that you’ll be given a pass for acting out of character. If you carry yourself with dignity and respect at all times, the men you attract will do the same. There are plenty of available options that men could choose from online, so make sure you’re attracting these admirers for the right reasons and not the wrong ones.

Relationships are about two individuals coming together to become one! If you’re going to date, pursue a relationship, or pursue a marriage, it’s going to require you to be vulnerable and trust your partner. Sure you could get your heart broken, sure you could get abandoned, sure you could be disappointed, but part of the beauty of being in love is enjoying what’s presently happening and not knowing what the future holds. If you meet someone and there’s chemistry, don’t hesitate to act on those feelings and take a chance on love.

Not everything in life will be logical or practical; some things are done simply out of love because love has no reason! Life is short, and you don’t have to live your life in fear, or have regrets about things that you should’ve, could’ve, or would’ve done. Don’t let work and school be the only things you go hard in life for; people are worth it! There’s a world of educated, career driven, quality men of substance online, and you can even search them by key words. Use this to your advantage and explore the possibilities of love! Create a profile on a social network showing the world who you are, post a stellar profile picture and bio, and get ready for the quality men of substance to pour in. Happy Dating!

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Life & Relationship Coach

-AskCheyB

“Fear”… the thing that stops us from pursuing our dreams and succeeding.

“Fear”… the thing that stops us from pursuing our dreams and succeeding. Each and every one of you has a dream, an aspiration, a goal, but for many… it stops “there”. You tell everyone about what you would like to do, and everyone tells you how great the idea is, and that they can’t wait to see you make it happen, and then you never follow through. You know exactly who to call/email, you have the knowledge and the experience, you have the passion, but there’s something that’s hindering you from  pursuing your dreams, and that thing is nothing more than “You and your fears”.

You’re afraid to be vulnerable, afraid to be rejected, afraid that no one else will understand or appreciate your vision the way you do. Afraid that you might not be able to live up to all the hype you’ve built up about yourself and your vision after all this time you’ve been “working on your craft”. You’re afraid to ask your friends and family members for money and support. Afraid to ask that DJ to play your song in a club where hundreds of people can hear your music and possibly become a fan. You’re afraid to take a chance on “your” dreams and you’re too proud to ask others to take a chance on you.

Social networks have become very addictive, we practically “live” on them, gathering thousands of friends and followers. Everyone knows your mood for the day, and how much drama is going on in your life, yet none of your friends and followers know about your dreams and aspirations. You share your vision with people who will pat you on the back and make you feel better about yourself, but in no way can help you achieve your goals. Those individuals are your safety net, they provide you with “comfort”, and seldom make you face harsh realities or push you towards actually making the things you speak of become a reality.

Better to share your dreams with people who can and will add value to your life, and to ask them to help you reach your goals. When you reach out to people for help, the most you will get is a yes, a no, or a maybe! <<< This is one of people’s biggest fear, but it’s one of the things that has to be overcome. We’re in a world filled with millions of people! Why carry on this vision alone? Don’t be afraid to ask for money, support, or even a position. Be prepared though, for the possibility of receiving 100 “No’s” before you receive 1 “Yes”. Being told no is a blessing in itself! It gives you the space and opportunity to think about why you were told no, and to figure out a way to (at a later time) re-evaluate your pitch/presentation/proposal and get a “Yes” from that very same person.

Take your dream(s), and completely remove “fear” from the equation. When you remove fear, you get “love”. Love is the absence of fear. Love your ability to bake/cook, to minister, to do make-up/hair, to take pictures, to tell stories with your music, to coordinate events, to design clothing, to paint, to help others, or whatever your field of expertise is, and share your vision with the world! When people see that you believe in yourself, it gives them reason to believe in you.

If fear is something you struggle with today, I would like for you to try this exercise:

Imagine you have one day left to live, and the only thing that could save you is if you pursued your dream(s) to no end, as if your life depended on it. How many text messages would you send? How many phone calls would you make? How many doors would you knock on? How many “friends” would you purposely not reach out to? How many hours of that day would you devote to sleeping? How many people would remember the pitch you gave them because they saw the hunger in your eyes and heard the passion in your voice? Use every day you have to live to pursue your dreams so that you can live your dream!

Life & Relationship Coach

-AskCheyB