“Fear”… the thing that stops us from pursuing our dreams and succeeding.

“Fear”… the thing that stops us from pursuing our dreams and succeeding. Each and every one of you has a dream, an aspiration, a goal, but for many… it stops “there”. You tell everyone about what you would like to do, and everyone tells you how great the idea is, and that they can’t wait to see you make it happen, and then you never follow through. You know exactly who to call/email, you have the knowledge and the experience, you have the passion, but there’s something that’s hindering you from  pursuing your dreams, and that thing is nothing more than “You and your fears”.

You’re afraid to be vulnerable, afraid to be rejected, afraid that no one else will understand or appreciate your vision the way you do. Afraid that you might not be able to live up to all the hype you’ve built up about yourself and your vision after all this time you’ve been “working on your craft”. You’re afraid to ask your friends and family members for money and support. Afraid to ask that DJ to play your song in a club where hundreds of people can hear your music and possibly become a fan. You’re afraid to take a chance on “your” dreams and you’re too proud to ask others to take a chance on you.

Social networks have become very addictive, we practically “live” on them, gathering thousands of friends and followers. Everyone knows your mood for the day, and how much drama is going on in your life, yet none of your friends and followers know about your dreams and aspirations. You share your vision with people who will pat you on the back and make you feel better about yourself, but in no way can help you achieve your goals. Those individuals are your safety net, they provide you with “comfort”, and seldom make you face harsh realities or push you towards actually making the things you speak of become a reality.

Better to share your dreams with people who can and will add value to your life, and to ask them to help you reach your goals. When you reach out to people for help, the most you will get is a yes, a no, or a maybe! <<< This is one of people’s biggest fear, but it’s one of the things that has to be overcome. We’re in a world filled with millions of people! Why carry on this vision alone? Don’t be afraid to ask for money, support, or even a position. Be prepared though, for the possibility of receiving 100 “No’s” before you receive 1 “Yes”. Being told no is a blessing in itself! It gives you the space and opportunity to think about why you were told no, and to figure out a way to (at a later time) re-evaluate your pitch/presentation/proposal and get a “Yes” from that very same person.

Take your dream(s), and completely remove “fear” from the equation. When you remove fear, you get “love”. Love is the absence of fear. Love your ability to bake/cook, to minister, to do make-up/hair, to take pictures, to tell stories with your music, to coordinate events, to design clothing, to paint, to help others, or whatever your field of expertise is, and share your vision with the world! When people see that you believe in yourself, it gives them reason to believe in you.

If fear is something you struggle with today, I would like for you to try this exercise:

Imagine you have one day left to live, and the only thing that could save you is if you pursued your dream(s) to no end, as if your life depended on it. How many text messages would you send? How many phone calls would you make? How many doors would you knock on? How many “friends” would you purposely not reach out to? How many hours of that day would you devote to sleeping? How many people would remember the pitch you gave them because they saw the hunger in your eyes and heard the passion in your voice? Use every day you have to live to pursue your dreams so that you can live your dream!

Life & Relationship Coach

-AskCheyB