Men Are Hard On The Outside, Soft On The Inside! A man doesn’t know love until he meets a woman; since a woman births him, his life automatically begins with a “sample” of what love is! The unconditional love found between a mother and a son is not a relationship that everyone has the privilege of experiencing, however when this special bond is present, it heavily influences the way a son looks at his mother, which in turn affects the way he looks at women as a whole.
A son’s mother is his “First Lady”, and the relationship between the two of them (or the lack thereof) will explain a great deal of his behaviors towards women throughout life! A mother loves him, nurtures him, feeds him, clothes him, protects him, and would even die for him. When in the presence of his mother, a man feels safe, secure; the connection between the two is physical, emotional, and spiritual. Being in the presence of a mother who is loving and nurturing is where a man feels he is most comfortable and vulnerable and his desire in life is to find a woman who also has this special power!
Upon seeking a woman who is comparable to his mother, a man’s love path can be significantly influenced/manipulated. One of the most love altering influences in a man’s life is “the presence of another male. While a mother primarily influences her son with matters of the heart, a father primarily influences his son with matters pertaining to the mind and the body! The love that a man shows a woman is considered unusual when expressed towards another male, and this behavior is almost always rejected.
A father (or male influences) teaches a young boy how to be “tough”, how to be “a man”, how to be a “protector” and a “provider”. A man communicates with another man through his actions; he uses his words as a last resort in the event that his actions haven’t clearly delivered a message. The way that a man handles another man is no way for a man to handle a woman. It is the relationship that the father has with the sons’ mother, and the relationship that the son has with his mother that gives men the blueprint for acceptable behavior with a woman.
When a father is instrumental in a son’s life, a son uses the knowledge and skills acquired from this trusted source. When the father is not present or not instrumental, a man uses the male influences of the world (i.e. Men in the neighborhood, men in school, men at work, celebrities). No matter where he gets his teachings from, a man will have a strong desire to put these lessons to the test. The approach will differ depending on his influences, but his goal remains the same; he wants to be loved!
Character reflects one’s behavior, one’s behavior is influenced by one’s upbringing and surrounding influences. We have no control over who births us, who raises us, or who influences us, but no matter who we are and where we’re from, as humans we all want to be loved. Since a man is trained by other men to wear armor around his heart, he looks for a woman whom will allow him to finally put his guards down.
Think of it as a game of “Are you my mother?”. Men are constantly on the search for a woman who reminds him of his mother. First, he must see a woman of interest with his eyes, then he must feel a woman interest with his heart, and then connect on a spiritual level. Before a spiritual connection can be made, he has to build up the courage that his father instilled in him and say “Hello, my name is…”. If the love that he shows this woman is reciprocated, this could possibly be the end of his love search! If the love that he shows this woman is rejected, this could be his very first experience with heartbreak from a woman outside of the home.
A man who is showered with love from his mother grows to also become loving to other women. His loving/nurturing nature is instilled in his mind, body and soul. Due to the relationship he has with his mother (1st Lady), “rejection” from a woman is an uncommon reaction that causes pain and builds up resentment. It is the rejection clause that causes a potentially loving man to mistreat women.
Don’t let a man’s exterior fool you; Men are hard on the outside, but extremely soft on the inside. A mother is a man’s escape from the dark, cruel, cold, hard world, but as an adult, he looks to find this escape with a woman he can call his own! This world is a cold, dark, and lonely place to be if you’re a man, which is why a man will endlessly look for a woman to shine her light, brighten his day, and add warmth to his life.
Each time a man is rejected, a knife takes a stab to his heart and causes emotional damage. Society isn’t aware of these emotionally setbacks because he’s wearing his protective armor in efforts to appear strong, tough, and independent! And he is indeed strong, tough, and independent, but this poses a problem when it comes to being “vulnerable”. Being rejected so frequently by jobs, social clubs, and women causes a man to become emotionally unavailable and shut down that part of his existence.
Rejection is motivation to become better at becoming accepted! In the event that a job, social club, or a woman that previously had rejected him later accepts a man, the initial resentment caused by being rejected will still remain. This “attitude” will cause him to seek revenge for the emotional distress he experienced when he was rejected. When a person is used to being treated with love/nurturing care, experiencing the opposite causes a disturbance in one’s peace of mind.
Women are a source of love, but not every woman is ready and willing to give it. When a man approaches her, his desire is to receive love (on one level or another). Based on his upbringing, he may or may not know exactly what to say, how to say it, or what steps to take in order to continue to be in the favor of a woman romantically. By being rejected, he then learns what doesn’t work, but he continues to live his life not knowing what does. In addition, this new rejection will add to the resentment he’s built up and stored in his heart towards women.
With countless male influences always available, his new advised approach will more than likely be to work on his physique, his finances, and his material goods (i.e. Swag). Swag will get the women, but a good heart will keep her. But matters of the heart aren’t a conversation that a man has with another man. The less female influence a male has, the less he will understand what it takes to get and keep a woman. The more female influences a male has, the more he will understand what it takes to get and keep a woman. As a positive solution to male-to-female interaction, we must communicate with one another in efforts to help build happier/healthier relationships with one another.
With communication comes understanding, respect, and reverence for one another. By opening the door of communication you welcome the opportunity for friendship, companionship, and love. By closing the door of communication, you leave enemies, burned bridges, and hate waiting on the outside! Every human deserves to be treated with dignity and respect. Don’t allow your emotional state to negatively affect someone else’s. Be consistent with loving yourself and everyone else!
askcheyb.wordpress.com 