Letting Go Of Fear!

We have a short gap of time to live on this earth and leave our mark on the world. We’re born, we’re raised, we live our lives, and then we die leaving behind memories that hopefully keep our spirits alive. There’s only but so much a person can do within 100 years, but it’s exciting to see all that we can aspire to accomplish during this time. Your purpose here on this earth isn’t to fulfill the pleasures for a man or to be a slave to another human being, no! Your purpose is to spread love and do it more abundantly!

Fear is something we all face at some point in our lives and sometimes prevents us from reaching our fullest potential. You may find yourself being afraid to let a man get close to you after you’ve had your heart broken. The might be afraid of losing your job; a job that you hate anyway, but you need it to pay your bills. You may even find yourself being afraid of stepping out in the world on your own and gaining your independence. Fear can place a roadblock right between you and your destiny, and it’s up to you to believe in yourself, face your fears, and overcome them.

No one is perfect so it’s ok to get out there, take a chance, experience life, and even make mistakes while you’re at it. Feel free to use your family, your friends, and the people of the world as your guide and learn from their experiences. A fool learns solely from his own experiences; the wise learn from that and the experiences of others. Getting insight from others will in fact prevent you from experiencing certain things you’ll be more than happy to avoid. Always keep an open mind and welcome those who offer insight that could be beneficial to your life.

There are so many places to go, so many people to meet, so many things to see and they’re all within your grasp if you simply believe that you can achieve it. If you desire to be married to a loving, honest, respectable man who protects and provides for you, you can certainly make it a reality if you work towards that goal. If you desire to have a family and travel the world, this too is achievable if you set goals and set out to achieve them. One thing is for certain though; you can’t achieve your goals if you don’t set any!

If you want to travel the world, stop making excuses for why you can’t, and start figuring out a way that you can. If you want to have a husband and a family, let go of your fear of being hurt by someone else and be open to loving again! If you want to become an entrepreneur and take control of your finances, don’t be afraid to invest in yourself and be the best at what you do. There’s no one in this world that can stop you from being your own boss, traveling the world, and having a loving husband and family to tag along for the ride. The only thing standing in your way is you!

Before you know it, this short life will be over, you’ll look back on your accomplishments, and you want to be able to say “I am happy with the way I lived my life!” That’s what life is all about… building relationships and leaving behind legacies! If you’re miserable at the job you’re working at now, let go of your fear and come up with a way to gain your freedom! If you’re in a relationship that doesn’t make you happy, free yourself, explore the world on your own, and be willing to open yourself back up to the new possibilities of love. If you’re unhappy with the neighborhood you’re living in, decide your ideal location, plan an exit strategy, then get up and MOVE!!!

Before all of this technology existed, there was just people, plants, and wild life; now we have tall sky scrapers, planes flying in the sky, cars driving on the roads, computers, cell phones, you name it. All of these things came to existence because someone, somewhere had a vision or an idea, and they took the steps they needed to make it a reality. Steve Jobs is one of the most influential men who lived in our time; he’s no longer with us, but because of the decisions he made with his life, he made a difference in the world that will live forever. Steve Jobs didn’t have anything that’s not available to you or anyone else in the world. What Steve Jobs did was he let go of fear, and sought out to do something that no one else in the world had done.

This too can be you! You can create a blueprint for your life and for your relationships, and you can build upon it day by day until you’ve yielded your perceived results. Success is measured by one’s ability to reach his/her goals, so if you want to be successful, set goals and work towards making your dreams a reality. Don’t allow your life to pass you by, and be left with nothing to show for it; believe in yourself, make the best of your life, and be proud of your accomplishments.

Many times we are our worst enemies! The only thing holding us back from leaving a terrible relationship, a terrible job, or a terrible living situation is you! It’s time to let go of fear and start living for the moment! Open your heart, open your mind, and get ready to explore everything this world has to offer. The sky is the limit, so let go of your fears and get ready for success in your personal and professional life.

If you’ve been inspired by today’s blog, please subscribe, post your comments below, and share it with your friends. Also, please visit my new website and connect with me on all of my social networks! www.askcheyb.com

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Life & Relationship Coach

-AskCheyB

Becoming an Entrepreneur

Starting your own business is as easy as 1, 2, 3 and the best part is that there’s no start up cost. All successful businesses start out with an innovative idea and the passion which bring these ideas to life. The only thing stopping you from coming up with a great idea, starting your own business, and being successful at it is you! Once you have the want to and the know how, building your company name and brand will prove to be easier than you ever imagined.

Being an entrepreneur gives you total control over the decision making, work hours, and most importantly the wages. You are now your own boss, and the fate of your company/livelihood is in your hands. Working for yourself won’t be easy, but it will be a great opportunity for you to prove to yourself that you have the knowledge, the skills, and the drive to succeed independently. When you build your company from the ground up, there is self gratification, not to mention you get to keep 100% of the profits (minus what’s owed to Uncle Sam).

The first thing you’ll need to start your business is figure out what the world needs and why they need it. Now that you have this thing that the world needs, the next step is deciding how you’re going to market it. The way business works is… you find a demand and then you supply it! Simple enough? Lucky for entrepreneurs, most consumers don’t realize they need a product until it’s actually on the market, so bring on your fresh/new ideas and get ready to sell. Aside from offering just goods and/or services, it’s important that your customers like the person running the business and handling the customers (i.e. Customer service). People are more likely to support and continue supporting your business when you’ve made them feel good about themselves and about their purchase(s). This indeed is an art that will pay off in the long run if mastered correctly.

Getting your business started won’t immediately require any of your money, but it will require all of your effort. The best way to work towards building a successful business is to educate yourself as much as possible so that you can make the best of your time, energy, efforts, and money. Take advantage of today’s technology and use the world wide web to research everything you need to know about the services you’ll be providing, as well as the people you’ll be offering your services to. In addition to studying your market and products, you may want to get a feel of who the competitors in your area are, what they offer exactly, and what you plan to do differently. This information will come in handy when you’re submitting your proposals to potential clients.

If you don’t have a home computer or laptop, visit your local library, sign up for a library card, and begin taking advantage of the free computer/internet access that’s offered to the public.  Now that you have an idea of what it is you want to offer the public, its time to start marketing yourself and your services. In order to differentiate your business from other competitors, you’ll need a name that best represents you and the services you’ll be providing. The last thing you want is to be in business for a year under “AskCheyB”, build popularity, only to find out that the name you’ve been operating under is legally owned by someone else. To avoid this, research the name you’d like to do business under, make sure it’s available, and then register it with the state as soon as possible.

Visit and register your business under one of the following: Non-Profit Organization, Sole-Proprietor, Limited Liability Corporation, Partnership, etc. <<<< Research each type of business and decide which suits your company best. Fees apply!

Once you’ve registered your business with the state, visit www.godaddy.com and secure a domain name for your website that you’ll soon be creating (i.e. www.AskCheyB.com). The cost for a domain with GoDaddy is as low as $12.99/year. Once you have your domain name, you can choose to also purchase hosting through GoDaddy, or you can use the hosting that’s available through www.wix.com. Hosting is necessary to make the domain name you’ve purchased for your website visible in the internets search engines. The cost for hosting through wix is as low as $10/month. Wix allows you to create a free professional flash website using a pre-designed template or you can create your own design from scratch.

With any business, you want to give your customers a way to contact you; you can create a free email account as well as authorize a free phone number to be associated with your business via http://www.gmail.com (google voice). Choose an email address that’s easy to remember and also matches the name you’ve chosen for your business. Now that you’ve registered your business with the state, you have your tax id, you’ve created your professional website, purchased your domain name/hosting, created your email address/contact number, you are now ready to start marketing your brand.

Businesses thrive on sales, and sales come from people who have buying power.  Wherever your market goes, your business must follow! In today’s day and age, the internet is where you will find a vast majority of your market. Albeit, there are many who have not fully made the transition to today’s most popular social media websites, a significant amount of people who have buying power are in fact surfing the web and shopping online. In efforts to tap into both markets, you should plan and execute a strategic online & offline marketing campaign.

Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn are amongst the most popular social networks of today, and fortunately for your business, all 3 sites are free. Be sure to create a profile and include any and all pertinent info to best promote your business on each site. Invest in image editing software such as Photoshop and become familiar with creating designs for your business cards, flyers, t-shirts, and other promotions. When creating your business cards, be sure to include your company name, number, email address, website, logo (if you have one), and links to your social media networks so that the people you meet can easily connect with you.

Contact your friends and family members and ask them to be the first to try your services and refer you to anyone else who might be interested. Also encourage them to visit your website and join all your social networks to support your efforts. Since you don’t yet have any clients, your friends and family members are the perfect candidates to gain experience with without any pressure, and to possibly get a great review on your products and services.

When you’re approaching strangers in person, be sure to sell yourself before selling the services you offer. As mentioned earlier, people are more likely to support your business if they like you. A casual conversation that is genuine and sincere will eventually lead to the topic of “What do you do?”. This practice is known as a soft sell. A hard sell can be hit or miss; you approach a total stranger and immediately tell them what you do and shove a business card in their face. This could lead to a “No, thank you. I’m not interested” before the person even takes a look at your card. Tread lightly!

Design and print T-shirts that you can wear whenever you’re attending places with heavy traffic; this will draw attention to your website and your business effortlessly. Print extra T-shirts and give them to influential people who could potentially be an evangelist and promote your business to a larger audience or refer you to potential clients. Take lots of pictures in your new T-shirt with public figures, celebrities, and the like to further draw attention to your brand.

Develop an email mailing list consisting of people who may be interested in your services and send out a monthly or bi-monthly newsletter with information on upcoming events, special offers, and discounts. Conduct a monthly event inviting people to come and try your services at a discounted rate. Require that each person who attends your event join your email mailing list for future promotions, and encourage the people who RSVP to bring a friend! Don’t forget to reward repeat customers by offering them exclusive discounts for their loyalty.

Every day is a work day! Promote your brand any and everywhere you can, and keep your costs low until you can afford to pay for advertising. Send out regular newsletters, post daily updates on Facebook, Tweet hourly updates and promotions, Blog about your events, and connect all of your clients/potential clients to your social networks for a fast/easy to access them. Bring more than enough business cards with you everywhere you go, and be sure to connect with the local businesses in your neighborhood and ask if you can leave some of your business cards at their establishments. When business picks up and there’s not enough time in the day, hire interns to help. In exchange for their service, you can offer to teach them everything you’ve learned about starting and running a business.

The barter system is a great tool to use when you’re trying to keep costs down, and if you’re just starting out, keeping costs down should be a top priority. Do your research and see if you can find people/businesses willing to perform tasks or provide the goods you need in exchange for your services. The results are, both parties get something they want at no cost to them. You’d be surprised how man people and businesses would prefer to use the bartering system as opposed to shelling out cash that could be re-invested into their business, so don’t be afraid to ask.

When it comes to your business, it’s important to treat everyone with dignity and respect. It’s equally important to conduct your business in an honorable and respectable way. Your family, friends, and colleagues will be more likely to support your business if they know/feel as if you are conducting business in a way that best reflects that of someone with good morals and values. Any form of illegal or unethical activity can ruin your business before it even gets off the ground. Develop a mission statement and a code of ethics that you plan to enforce throughout the life of the company, and amongst its future employees.

Good luck!

Email address: FREE (www.google.com)

Phone number: FREE (www.google.com)

Web design: FREE (www.wix.com)

Social Media Networks: FREE (www.twitter.com) (www.facebook.com) (Linkedin.com)

Interns: Feed them and give them exclusive insight on the business.

DBA: (Doing business as) As low as $15, but varies.

Domain name: $12.99/month (www.GoDaddy.com)

Hosting: $10/month (www.wix.com)

If you’ve been inspired by today’s blog, please subscribe, post your comments below, and share it with your friends. Also, please visit my new website and connect with me on all of my social networks! www.askcheyb.com

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Life & Relationship Coach

-AskCheyB

Q: “Should I focus on a man? Or stayed focused on my career?”

Q: “Should I focus on a man? Or stayed focused on my career?”

A: In the early stages of a young adult’s life, a person will commit to relationships without having the big picture in mind. They’ll take chances on numerous relationships not because they see this person as marriage potential, but more so because they “like” the person that he/she portrays themselves to be and want to experience more of them, and/or because they are desperate for companionship and simply don’t want to be alone. There are rules to relationships, and proven studies show that having standards and setting requirements will in fact make a woman more desirable to a man who is looking for a serious relationship. When you have a woman who is at this place in her life, and you match her with a man who is mature enough to appreciate a woman of this caliber, it’s a match made in heaven, and the potential to grow with one another is far greater than anything that comes easy.

The men who want sex fast & easy will look at your standards and requirements as a turn off, or accuse you of being extremely picky, etc. If this happens, that means your plan is working like a charm. You’re weeding out the men who are not interested in having a serious committed relationship, while allowing yourself to still be open and available to the men who are. The men who are looking to settle down and be in a serious monogamous relationship are the ones you should be marketing to. Being single is what you do when you’re trying to find/establish yourself, and/or you haven’t yet found someone who’s met your standards/requirements. There are millions of men in this world, and you only need “one”. Your days of being single will come to an end when that one man sees the value in being with a woman who knows her worth, is exclusive, and has the potential to add value to his life.

If you are focused on your goals, stay focused on your goals, as a relationship will bring you closer to him, and take you further and further away from your goals. Once you feel you are ready to get back on the dating scene, put yourself out there where your type of man can find you. Date multiple men at one time so that you don’t find yourself settling on just “one” option. By dating multiple men, you expose yourself to individuals who may have similar credentials, but are distinguished by their personality, morals, values, and principles that they live by. Keep your options open and settle on the one who adds the most value to your life.

Focus on your health, wealth, education, and happiness. Focus on a man when he focuses on you.

If you’ve been inspired by today’s blog, please subscribe, post your comments below, and share it with your friends. Also, please add me on Facebook & Follow me on Twitter!

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Life & Relationship Coach

-AskCheyB

Q: “I was recently in a car accident, got laid off, and now I’m depressed! This one guy really likes me. Should I put him/relationships on hold?”

Q: I am currently going through some major life changes such as being laid off from my job, recently being in a car accident where my car was totaled and just an overwhelming feeling of loneliness on top of other things. I am aware that I have a lot of baggage at the moment and don’t have much to offer a relationship. I personally feel that I should put dating on hold but, there is a guy being very persistant and wants to take me out. I don’t feel comfortable as a woman putting myself in a situation where I have to explain all of this to him. My best friend however, feels I need to date and that if a man is truly interested this will not be an issue because my situation is temporary. How do you suggest I handle this?

A: While it’s customary for a man to protect and provide for a woman, one has to remember that these are privileges that are given to the “deserving”. Protecting a woman and providing for a woman isn’t an act of charity, it’s an act of duty towards the woman who’s earned a place in that man’s heart. When you’re single, you are expected to be “independent”, so that when you get into your next relationship, you will have enough to offer to make him comfortable enough being “interdependent” with you. 

There will always be someone who sees value in you (on some level or another), but it’s more important that “you” see value in yourself. This way you’ll be able to place a “price” on what you feel your worth is, as opposed to letting the men who are interested in you dictate that value for you. You want to be “self” confident, and you want your esteem to be high before you let someone get close to your heart. If you allow another person to boost your self-esteem and self-confidence, then they can also lower it at will. If you allow someone to have this type of power over you, you place yourself in a vulnerable state where you may be at serious risk of being hurt, used, and abused.

There will never be a shortage of men. They are everywhere and they are here to stay. Take as much time as you need to focus on yourself and your responsibilities. Be sure that when you’re finally ready to date that you are confident in “yourself”. If you lack confidence do to your financial situation, your emotional state, or what have you, it will show. And if these insecurities are sensed, you put yourself in a position where a man will be prompted to play on your emotions and go into “manipulative” mode (which means everything he does from that point will be for “him”. 

Kindly let the guy know that you are not ready to be romantically involved with him and you need to be alone for awhile. If he’s smart, he will simply date other women and stay focused on his life and his responsibilities. In time… if/when you’re finally ready to date, he can comfortably begin pursuing you again (if he’s still available). If he pressures you, run!!! Because now, he’s showing impatience, lack of confidence, lack of discipline, and most importantly… lack of respect! And these are not admirable traits to have in a relationship.

Life & Relationship Coach

-AskCheyB

Q: “I was recently in a car accident, got laid off, and now I’m depressed! This one guy really likes me. Should I put him/relationships on hold?”

Q: I am currently going through some major life changes such as being laid off from my job, recently being in a car accident where my car was totaled and just an overwhelming feeling of loneliness on top of other things. I am aware that I have a lot of baggage at the moment and don’t have much to offer a relationship. I personally feel that I should put dating on hold but, there is a guy being very persistant and wants to take me out. I don’t feel comfortable as a woman putting myself in a situation where I have to explain all of this to him. My best friend however, feels I need to date and that if a man is truly interested this will not be an issue because my situation is temporary. How do you suggest I handle this?

A: While it’s customary for a man to protect and provide for a woman, one has to remember that these are privileges that are given to the “deserving”. Protecting a woman and providing for a woman isn’t an act of charity, it’s an act of duty towards the woman who’s earned a place in that man’s heart. When you’re single, you are expected to be “independent”, so that when you get into your next relationship, you will have enough to offer to make him comfortable enough being “interdependent” with you. 

There will always be someone who sees value in you (on some level or another), but it’s more important that “you” see value in yourself. This way you’ll be able to place a “price” on what you feel your worth is, as opposed to letting the men who are interested in you dictate that value for you. You want to be “self” confident, and you want your esteem to be high before you let someone get close to your heart. If you allow another person to boost your self-esteem and self-confidence, then they can also lower it at will. If you allow someone to have this type of power over you, you place yourself in a vulnerable state where you may be at serious risk of being hurt, used, and abused.

There will never be a shortage of men. They are everywhere and they are here to stay. Take as much time as you need to focus on yourself and your responsibilities. Be sure that when you’re finally ready to date that you are confident in “yourself”. If you lack confidence do to your financial situation, your emotional state, or what have you, it will show. And if these insecurities are sensed, you put yourself in a position where a man will be prompted to play on your emotions and go into “manipulative” mode (which means everything he does from that point will be for “him”. 

Kindly let the guy know that you are not ready to be romantically involved with him and you need to be alone for awhile. If he’s smart, he will simply date other women and stay focused on his life and his responsibilities. In time… if/when you’re finally ready to date, he can comfortably begin pursuing you again (if he’s still available). If he pressures you, run!!! Because now, he’s showing impatience, lack of confidence, lack of discipline, and most importantly… lack of respect! And these are not admirable traits to have in a relationship.

Life & Relationship Coach

-AskCheyB

Gents: First work on the money… then work on the girl!

Some people work to make money and use the money they make to pay bills. Others work to make money and use the money they make to invest in things that will help them achieve financial freedom/secure a future for themselves, their family, and the people they leave behind. It’s important to have a list of priorities in life, and “you” should sit at the very top of that list of priorities. The more you value yourself physically, spiritually, emotionally, and financially, the more others will value you. If you’re working towards being the best man you can be spiritually, physically, emotionally, and financially you’re going to want to find a person who offers the same value you possess.

This issue of making it a first priority prior to be financially independent is a matter of morals, values, character, upbringing, and influences. When the right path isn’t laid out for a young man growing up, his fate rests in the hands of the influences of the world. One major instance in which a man will come to terms with the importance of having financial stability is when he meets his significant other’s father. The mother will be more concerned with how much you love her daughter. The father will be more concerned with what you do for a living and how you plan on providing for his daughter. Better to have a plan of action before meeting the man whom she knows will protect her best interest and advise against you if your plan is not conducive to her future.

A huge part of being an adult is being financially independent and responsible. Being able to make smart decisions with your money are essential to your growth and development in the society we live in. This could mean cutting back on shopping, dates, eating out, driving, etc in order to reduce your everyday expenses and use that money towards savings and investments. The money you save from cutting back on expenses will accumulate over time and accrue interest depending on how/where you invest. But more importantly, this money will come in handy if tragedy were ever to strike and you’re unable to generate income. Not having financial security will leave you dependent on everyone but yourself. <<< A trait that no woman admires.

With or without a woman, you (as a man) are held accountable for the financial decisions you make in life and people (especially women you’re interested in dating) will associate with you in part based on your ability to make money work for you. The actual amount of money you’ve saved or invested isn’t what’s important. What’s important is that you’ve dedicated your time/energy/effort/money into taking steps towards becoming financially independent and securing your future.

Being financially stable will change the way you walk, talk, dress, the company you keep, and it will also play a huge part in the type of women you consider for dating potential. The type of women you consider for a date/relationship/marriage ties into “knowing your worth”. Realizing your worth can mean “I know I’m broke, so let me seek a woman who’s esteem is low enough to take me as is”. Realizing your worth can also mean “I’m financially independent, so now I’m going to seek out a woman who matches or exceeds what I’m bringing to the table, so that in the future we can become financially interdependent, pool our resources together and be a “powerhouse” living a happier/healthier/more prosperous lifestyle. Being a financial powerhouse is not an ultimate solution to finding happiness. Taking good care of your health and loving yourself is something you both should find within yourselves and share with each other. Money+Love+Wellness= Happiness

Women are ultimately attracted to a man based on what he appears to be doing for himself. She becomes even more deeply connected if/when that man is able to also do things for her. If you’re dealing with a woman of substance, she already has her own money in the bank and in no way “needs” yours. However, women like to be catered to (by a man) in more ways than the physical and at “your” expense. She likes to be taken shopping, out to eat, on trips, etc. You won’t need money to “get” the girl, but you certainly will need money to “keep” her.

If you cannot afford to do these things for a woman, the life expectancy of your relationship will end as soon as that woman wakes up and realizes her worth. Without money, there is no real sense of security in that relationship because you as a man didn’t bring security into that relationship to begin with. When unexpected expenses come, and you have no money in the bank to turn to, the burden falls on the woman. As a man, your usefulness will expire if your woman has to take care of any unexpected duties & expenses that the man of the house should be taking care of.

Being with a woman isn’t always, but certainly should be an “investment” in your future, and not an added expense… but not before you invest in “yourself” and become financially independent on your own. Some women would argue that they have no problem accepting a man who doesn’t have any money, but who in fact loves them. If you look closely at “this” particular woman, this gesture is a matter of “low self-esteem”. Women with high esteem, who are accomplished and have everything to show for it, would rather remain single than settle for a man with no money, no goals, and no plans for his future.

There are some cases where a woman of this caliber will get seduced by a man who gives her hope, sells her dreams, and gives her a “false” sense of security, but after years of disappointment, heartache, and pain, the woman awakens from this spell and eventually reverts back to where she started (which is in front of a mirror). Looking in the mirror will allow her the opportunity to take a closer look at her life & her future. From there she realizes her worth and proceeds to work on herself in hopes of finding someone who matches or exceeds everything she brings to the table, and rids herself of “you”.

Whoever you spend your time/energy/effort/money on should be someone you see value in. Someone who can add to everything you’ve already built for yourself. Not every women you meet gets a date! Choose wisely! Otherwise that investment turns into a quite costly expense. Especially if you’re dating multiple women at once (recommended).

If you are a responsible adult male, you have a source of income that helps cover your financial obligations. If your expenses number in the thousands, it makes financial sense to have an emergency fund also numbering in the thousands just to cover those expenses should your source of income expire. BTW having thousands of dollars in your checking and savings account is nothing something that’s uncommon. In fact it’s very common to the financially responsible, as this is an essential part of survival (especially in an unstable economy). It’s called having financial security and every grown adult should have it. If you have no money in your bank account, your paycheck had better cover all of your expenses and then some, because if there’s no “and then some”, you won’t be able to treat “yourself” to the finer things in life, let alone treat a lady the way she likes to be treated because you have no money leftover.

There is a solution to this problem. Focus on “you”! Have a plan! Establish yourself financially so that you can be in the best possible position to meet a woman who’s in her best possible position in life. Focus on gaining financial freedom & security. Once you’ve established yourself, you will see yourself as “more” valuable than that of which you already were. In addition, the women you admire will find you to be more attractive/valuable as they see the time/energy/effort/money you’ve invested in yourself. They see you as someone who is secure, and they want “security” in their lives.

Life & Relationship Coach

-AskCheyB