How “not” being instrumental in your children’s lives affect their future…

It’s important to have both a male and a female figure in the house hold, so that the child can grow up with a balanced understanding on how to carry himself as a man, or how to carry herself as a woman in this society. In addition, the benefits of having a male and female figure in the house hold is for the father to show the young man how to treat a lady, and how to be a man. The father shows the young girl how a woman is supposed to be treated by a man. He does this by showing his wife and his daughter love/honor/respect, so that when she gets out into the world, any man she meets must match or exceed everything the love/honor/respect that her father gave her.

The father shows the son how to be a protector & a provider. And the same goes for a young man and his mother. His mother shows him what it means to be loved by a woman. She shows him how a woman is supportive of her husband, is loving, caring, and takes care of the home. This way, when he gets out into the world, any woman he meets must match or exceed all of the support/love/care that his mother gave him. Everything takes place in the home first! Now if you’ll look closely, these are key influences in a child’s life and in a child’s development. If you take away either parent (mother or father), that child will be missing out on an abundance of teachings that help mold them into the man or woman they will become. And it will effect all of the relationship decisions that they make in life.

I believe that (with the exception of adoption) only the biological mother and father are capable of caring enough about the well-being of the child to enforce these teachings. A step-father is primarily there for the mother… not the children. A step-mother is primarily there for the father… not the children. The two people that brought that child into this world are the ones who are responsible for the development of the child in this society, and if they are missing, they leave their children in the hands of the teachers of the world, which in most cases are men. Men who are looking to conquer the world by any means necessary.

Our children are our future,  but particularly, our women are the reproducers of our children, so it’s important that we should pay special attention in the way we protect them in our society. When young men grow up without proper love and care, they seek out individuals who are weaker than them mentally and physically to make them feel better about themselves. Two things happen when a father is missing. 1) The daughter isn’t shown how to be loved/honored/respected by a man. 2) The son isn’t shown how to love/honor/respect a woman. And if the daughter doesn’t know what it means to be loved/honored/respected… she’s going to gravitate towards the first thing that looks and feels like love.

This is one of the easiest thing for a man to do… pretend to love a woman through intimacy. She doesn’t know any better because she wasn’t taught any better. Her father wasn’t present, and her mother annoys the CRAP out of her trying to protect her from the very same men that are whispering in her ears. This results into a rebellion against her mother (the one person in this world who truly loves her)… and the cycle continues.The men raised solely by their mothers aren’t shown how to treat a lady. They’re mothers only express to them how they would like to be treated (if they tell them anything at all).

A mother’s boyfriend can try to show a woman’s son how to treat a woman, but he’s not leading by example if he’s not marrying the woman. Unfortunately, the young man/woman in this world who grow up without a father have to fend for themselves. They have to make a conscious effort to want to be the best person they can be (for themselves), which in turn will make them the best person for someone else. In time and through experience, one will know what they would like to experience in a relationship and what they would not like to experience in a relationship. One way a woman can test to see if a man is showing you love/honor/respect is ask yourself, “If I had a good father in my life… would he treat me this way? If the answer is yes, you’ve got a keeper. If the answer is no, keep searching.

Life & Relationship Coach

-AskCheyB