Q: Hi Cheyenne, I’m in my 40’s no children, never been married, I have a few degrees under my belt, I have my own car, house and own properties, but my relationships don’t last. I love to travel, I’m very outgoing and I’ve even tried dating sites, but all the men seem to want to do with me is have sex. They don’t want any real commitment. I do want to get married and have children quite soon, but I’m having the hardest time meeting the right one, and worst, someone who wants me for just me, not my money and my body. What am I doing wrong?
A: Hi thanks for sharing. On paper, you seem like an amazing woman, now all we have to do is get that message to translate into real life. First, I want you to stay optimistic about your love life because your 40s is still very young. Also, I don’t want you to feel pressured into settling for just any man, or having a baby just to have a baby. We have enough fatherless babies, so get artificial insemination out of your head RIGHT now! Stay focused on your goals, and continue to work on you until the right man for you comes into your life. Men look to be the protectors and the providers, so your money, degrees and cars won’t appeal to him. A man can get sex from anywhere, so if you’re looking for substance, using your looks/sex isn’t the way to get him either. When a man is finally ready to settle down, he doesn’t use his eyes to look for a woman, he uses his heart. So in order for you to attract a quality man of substance you simply have to be a quality woman of substance. Do this simply by loving yourself and loving others. Depending on what he sees in you, a man will look at the soul of a woman and say “This is what I need in my life forever” or “This is what I need in my life right now“. It’s your job to work on yourself and influence what he sees in you as a woman. You don’t have to be perfect, just perfect for him! Men are very simple. All we want is Food, Sex And Peace Of Mind! Before giving him what he wants, make sure he has all that he needs. This action is what will differentiate you from the average woman, and it’s what will keep him longing for your love and affection. Give a man what he needs and make him earn what he wants. A wife is a “help mate”, and a woman should already be a wife before the marriage. Your car, your home, your businesses and your degrees aren’t the type of help a man looks for in a wife. So in order for you to attract a man who is looking for a wife, you need to take the time to get to know yourself and figure out how you can be of greater help,not just to yourself, but to the man you see in your future. This is the key to attracting that quality man of substance.
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Life & Relationship Coach