I’m in a new relationship, everything is going well, we are both entrepreneurs, we create our own schedules, travel when we want, and are enjoying life together. Years before I met him, I was in a relationship with someone else and we had plans on getting married, etc. At the time, I thought it was a good idea to partner with him on a business venture. We’ve since broken up, but we still have this business venture together years after we broke up. The relationship between us is strictly business, but my new boyfriend has a big problem with this. I don’t understand why he doesn’t trust that it’s just business and that it is completely over between my ex and I. Why is this such an issue for him? -Naja S.
A: Thank you for your question. The issue for your new man is that you have not actually broken up with your ex. You are no longer in a committed relationship with him, yes. However, you have not completely broken ALL ties to him, which leaves the door open for him to come back in. Furthermore, your willingness to remain in business with your ex shows that you still have feelings for him.
Your ex chose to do business with you because you are resourceful and herein lies the problem. Since he is your ex, he is no longer deserving of your resources. This is something that should be reserved for your new partner. When a partnership ends, no matter business or personal, you don’t go back to it. It ended for a reason, and this it the time where you close one chapter of your life and open new ones.
With any business partnership, there has to be communication, meetings of the mind, and even face-to-face interaction. This is too much interaction for two people who are supposed to be broken up. The emotional connection that you once had for one another is still there either on his part, your part or both. Either way, it will never make your partner feel confident in you and your decision making for as long as the partnership between you two exists. A “break-up” means no more access. Your ex still has access to you via text, phone, email, and even face-to-face, and because you’re in business with one another, you allow it!
You can’t move onto the next until you’re through with your ex. Your new boyfriend is well within his rights to feel uncomfortable about this arrangement because all men have a motive. No man will go into a business with and remain in business with a woman he was once in a relationship with, without still having the desire to sleep with her. There is a law of attraction, and it’s only a matter of time before another connection will be made between you and your ex. The best way to avoid temptation is simply to avoid temptation.
If your business venture is more valuable than your new relationship, by all means keep it. Know that by keeping this relationship with your ex, you will forever gender yourself from building a future with a man who truly loves you and cares for you. There will be some men who will pimp you and say “It’s just business” because he sees that the money will come back into the relationship, but that’s not love. No man who loves you will be ok with you having a business venture with an ex. You must choose which is more valuable and eliminate the other.
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