One thing I’ve come to learn about women is when they love they love hard! Meaning they will do whatever it takes to keep their man happy and to make sure that he never leaves. With that being said, there’s no room for any other woman to interfere with what she’s worked hard for. That goes for your mother, the mother of your child (if applicable), ex’s and/or female friends. She is claiming you as her one and her only and will not tolerate anyone who poses a threat to the relationship.
Now, I know it sounds like she may be a little bit crazy, but there’s nothing wrong with marking your territory and protecting it. When you have a good thing, many people will set out to come and take what you have. We’ve all witnessed at some point or another where a person’s relationship status changed, then all of a sudden that person became more interesting. The only thing that became more interesting is that they are off limits and those who seek a challenge view that as a challenge. This same theory applies to women as well, some women don’t value relationships and marriage and will try to come in and wreck your home.
The best way to avoid temptation is simply to avoid temptation. We all know the seductive power of a beautiful woman and what it does to a man. You’re human, no one is expecting for you to not be attracted to a woman. What’s expected of you is to not open up the door for her to walk in and seduce you. The only thing worst than cheating physically is cheating emotionally. You’ve seen in the movies where a man cheats on a wife, she finds out and then she asks, “Do you love her?”
She’s curious as to whether or not you love her because they will determine just how deep the relationship truly is. If you love her, then she’ll feel as though the damage is irreconcilable, if you don’t she’ll believe there’s still hope. Even if cheating never escalates to the physical, a woman will still be hurt simply by your hearts desire for another woman. The thought that you would initiate conversation, express your innermost thoughts and feelings to another woman is cheating. You’re sharing your time, energy and emotions with another woman outside of your relationship.
This is where a lot of men constantly get it wrong. They say, “But babe, we didn’t sleep together” and think that because there was no penetration that it’s not cheating. Cheating is any welcomed or initiated interaction outside of your relationship with a woman you know is romantically interested in you. That lunch date that you went on that you know is not strictly business, or that text message after hours, or that Facebook friend request you accepted from your ex. All of those instances open up the door to foul play.
A woman wants to feel special, as if she’s the only woman in your world. Of course you can’t avoid interacting with other women, however you can control the level of interaction with them. Not everyone who is around your circle needs to be in your circle. In fact, if you wouldn’t feel comfortable introducing her to your significant other or inviting her into your home amongst your family, she probably doesn’t belong in your life. When it comes to business, communication should take place during business hours on your business email or phone or at the office. Women in the workplace don’t need to have access to your personal life, that’s where your partner comes in.
By setting the barriers, you give your lady a sense of security, which builds trust in the relationship. Consequently, when you allow other women to crossover into your personal space, you raise a red flag in your partner’s mind because she belongs in your business space. In her mind, she’ll be thinking, “Woah! What is she doing here at your birthday party/family gathering/etc? Out of all the people he could invite, why would he invite her?” You may think that everything is all smiles, peaches & cream but from that point on, she will never be “ok” with this woman’s presence in your life.
Every time you mention or invite this particular woman to anything, she’ll grow suspicious, and rightfully so. You must know where to draw the line with your associates, co-workers, friends and counterparts. You’ll have to learn this with your guy friends, lady friends, family members and relatives. You’re only one person, I know but you’ll have to figure out a way to prioritize, and make your lady a #1 priority in your life. When you don’t make her a priority, all kinds of problems can arise.
For starters, you’re making her unhappy and that’s no way to treat someone who is significant in your life. You have to remember that men and women value different things. Us men can go to work from 9am-5pm, grab drinks with the guys from 5pm-9pm, come home at 10pm looking for dinner and sex, and by 10:10pm (lol) want to be left alone so we can sleep. And to us, that sounds like heaven on earth, and we’re ready to do it all over again until the end of time. Meanwhile, your lady is miserable because you’re not taking her needs into consideration.
You’ve given your job your full-time, your boys your undivided attention, and come home to give the love of your life your drunken leftovers. That’s because your priorities aren’t in order and you’re not taking care of home. In your mind, you’re probably thinking, “Babe, I’m just hanging out with the guys after work”, but in reality, you are cheating her out of your time with her. You aren’t being fair about the level of investment you signed up to make. Instead you are having your cake and eating it too.
Just imagine being in a relationship where you are loving, supportive, and most importantly loyal, and take care of your household. Meanwhile, your lady dresses up every night after work as if she’s going on a hot date, but turns out to just be another “ladies night out”. By the time she gets home, her feet hurt, she’s tired, no dinner was cooked and to top it off she’s in no mood for romance. She may very well be just hanging out with the girls, but that’s not the point. The reality is that she’s investing more time in her job and in her girls than she’s giving to her man at home.
There’s a way to avoid this division and that’s by sticking together, knowing who’s for you and who’s simply with you for the time being. Sharing your time with the wrong individuals can land you with that person full-time. Hanging out with the guys doesn’t sound so exciting anymore now does it? Even your boys know that they have to make time for their lady and can’t afford to spend all of their time with you. There’s nothing wrong with hanging out, just find balance.
Your boys however, are the least of your woman’s worries. She’s more concerned about the women you allow into your life. When you get into a relationship, she should be your one and only female friend. That girl that you’ve been knowing since childhood, yea give her a virtual kiss goodbye and save your kisses for your ladies. All of the women from your past need to stay in the past. If you have a child from a previous relationship, the two of you need only communicate with one another as it pertains to the child.
Remember, women care about the emotional attachment you have to other women and will grow suspicious if you have any type of “special connection”. With your mother, it’s expected for you to have an emotional connection. However as a man you should be strong enough to let go and cater to your lady as your father should cater to your mother. It shouldn’t be a competition between you two and there is room for the both of you; just make sure to prioritize. Your mother needs to know that you have a woman in your life, and your woman needs to know that your mother is an important part of your life.
A woman wants a man who can offer her security and be there for her exclusively. It’s not exclusive if you’re sending her the same “Hello beautiful, how are you?” text. It’s not exclusive if you’re still dating and sleeping with other women. It’s not exclusive if you aren’t claiming her as your woman. And it’s not exclusive if other women get to experience the same perks that she gets to experience.
If you’re in a committed relationship, a woman shouldn’t have to share you with another woman, you should be loyal. Offer her the security that she deserves and that you would want another man to offer your mother, sister, or daughter. There are so many reasons why sharing yourself in an adulterous way is wrong, but most importantly it’s dishonors you and your relationship. If you’re unable to be faithful in a relationship, just stay single until you are. When you’re finally ready to commitment, be ready to share your world only the one you love.
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Life & Relationship Coach