Right before the start of the New Year, I write out my goals for the upcoming year. This helps me to stay focused on my day-to-day, week-to-week and month-to-month activities throughout the year. Having a plan for what you want to do with your life is a great way and the only way to become successful. There’s something about a man on a mission that every woman loves and finds extremely attractive. It shows his discipline, passion and purpose in life and that’s exactly the type of man she wants to lead her.
For men, we are taught to be protectors and providers, and for women they are taught to be nurturers. In order to properly balance a relationship, both parties has to know their role and play their role. It’s unfortunate, but in many cases, fathers completely abandon or neglect their responsibility to teach their sons how to be men. This results in men growing up as males, and not having the slightest clue as to what it means to be a man. It’s up to you to break this cycle, set goals and take action!
I have the privilege of talking to many female clients on a daily basis who express their desire to be in a relationship with a man. They feel as though they are submissive and would like to be lead by a man, but under no circumstances are they willing to submit to just any man. They want to submit to a man who is led by God, has submitted to God and is prepared to lead her into prosperity. To be quite honest, I don’t follow anyone who doesn’t have a solid plan and I’m a man. My time is too valuable to waste on ambiguity and that’s exactly how women feel.
Women have to sacrifice a lot to be in a relationship with a man, so you have to be prepared to accommodate her. “What do you mean women have to give up a lot”. Well when she marries you, she has to give up her maiden name and take on yours, she carries your baby for nine months and hopes to get her figure back, she takes care of the household and nurtures the people in it, and that’s just for starters. A woman who is willing to do all of those things wants to be assured that she won’t have to do so uncomfortably. Could you imagine having to struggle and carry a baby for nine months, bring him/her into a world with no security, and be disciplined by a man with no discipline?
You have to show a woman that not only do you have a plan for your own life, but you also have a plan for the life you are trying to build together. So often we men get distracted from our goals simply because we see a beautiful woman with a nice body. Sure, it’s fun in the beginning, but before long, she will look at you and say “What’s next”. Oh you’ve been there before fellas, everything is going well; you’re getting food, sex and peace of mind and then she hits you with “What are we?” “Where are we going with this?” “Are we in a relationship?”
Women want to be led, they want a plan, and they want to look forward to something fresh, exciting and new. When you first meet her, she wants you to initiate the conversation, ask for her number and then set up a date. She wants you to call her, take the time to get to know her, and then plan an actual date. After the first date, she will want another, then another, then another, and after she’s comfortable being around you, she will want even more from you. At this point, she doesn’t just want to date, she’s attracted to you, the days, weeks and months are going by and she’s not getting any younger.
After all this time spent together, she adores you and is fascinated about what you’re going to do next. She sees the value in you and is wondering if you see the value in her. She wants for you to ask her to be exclusive so that the two of you can grow together and build a legacy. She will have faith in you if you show her that you have plans on being in her life tomorrow. When you don’t take steps towards growth, you give a woman doubt about where the two of you stand in the relationship.
The vast majority of young women aspire to one day be in a loving marriage, have children, a nice house and all the wonderful things that come with it. She’s looking for her knight in shining armor and she’s hoping that that person is you. Yes, I know, marriage is the furthest thing from your mind right now because you’re too focused on your next paycheck, and that’s fine. By all means, get your personal and professional life together, but if you’re investing time in a woman, know that she’s expecting you to lead. If you can’t afford to date, then don’t!
Yes, there are many women who date for free meals, but we’re going to focus this part of the discussion on the woman of substance. Women of substance are tired of dating endlessly and aimlessly, tired of sleeping around and are looking for something solid/serious. All she wants is a man, who will love her, protect her, provide for her and do so on a consistent basis and be loyal. If none of those things are in your plans, then you are not ready to be in a relationship with a woman. The idea is to have a plan to constantly upgrade your relationship or marriage so that it doesn’t get stale.
For example, if you’re interested in a woman and she’s your co-worker, associate from church or classmate, upgrade the relationship to a friendship. A friendship will allow you to build a closer and more genuine relationship with a woman without any added pressure. You will open up a side of her that is warm, loving and sincere, and you will show her that same side of you. During this time, you will begin to explore what one another values and can then figure out how you can add value to her life. If taking the time to build with a woman isn’t a part of your plan, you are not ready to be in a relationship with a woman.
If you are willing to take your time and get to know her, you’ll have the perfect opportunity to upgrade the friendship to dating. This is where the two of you get to not only talk about the things you like, but you get to experience them. Women love to be entertained and you can never go wrong with taking a woman out on a date. Most women are so deprived of a good date that she’s likely to drop everything she’s doing just to be out of the house with you. All she needs to know is the time, date, location and it’s a date!
Why would a woman drop everything that she’s doing just to go out on a date with a man? Because she wants companionship, she wants to be seen in the latest fashion, glammed up and on the arm of a great man. Sure, she can take herself out, sure she can go out with her girls, but that gets old and she wants something new. This is what makes you so valuable to a woman, you have the opportunity to show her a good time and become a go-to source for fun and excitement.
The more you plan to show a woman a good time, the more she will want to be around you. Consequently, if you neglect the planning process, she will eventually get bored with you and outsource for fun and excitement. The whole point of being in a relationship is to enjoy being together, so it’s important to give her a reason to be in a relationship with you. It doesn’t get any simpler than figuring out a time, date, location and activity and extending the invitation to your lady. Plainly put, she doesn’t want to be the only one who has fresh ideas and the desire to enjoy life as a couple.
You will find that when you meet a woman’s folks, one of the first questions they will ask is your plan for the future. Why do they care? They care because they’re not getting any younger, they want the best for their daughter and they want to see their grandchildren grow up. You may be charming and good-looking, but none of that matters when it comes down to their daughter and her future. They want to know that you are reading, willing and able to protect and provide. And rightfully so; you wouldn’t give your daughter away to some guy who didn’t have a plan would you?
The key to a long-lasting relationship is planning for it to last. You have to think about tomorrow, next month, next year and years to come, not just right now! You have to be honest with yourself about where you are in life and what your plan is for your future. Having a plan for your own life should be a pre-requisite for planning a future with a woman. A woman will believe in you for as long as you show signs of moving forward, and once those signs dwindle, she’s be moving out.
Enjoy the dating experience, the friendship and the previous association and then upgrade to a committed relationship. Upgrade your new relationship by introducing your partner to the people who are important in your life. Propose the idea of marriage and confess your love to her before God and witnesses. Fall deeper in love, have children and build your legacy. Once you’ve got the girl, treat her as if you’re trying your best to keep her. Don’t let the relationship get old, keep it fresh and new.
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Life & Relationship Coach