Often times when a male figure is lacking in strength, courage and/or wisdom you’ll hear a person shout “Be a man!”. They say this because as a man, society holds us to a higher standard, a standard that requires us to possess great leadership skills, discernment, and a sense of fearlessness. Yes, we are all human, we make mistakes, we fall short, we grow weary, and we certainly don’t have the power to know it all, but as a man, it’s our responsibility to come up with a plan to try and figure it out against any and all odds. It goes back to principles. If you base everything you do in life on principles and stay focused on those principles, you will achieve progressive results in every aspect of your life.
Every man has the ability to lead, we simply have to believe in ourselves, swallow our pride and let go of fear so that we can be effective in our leadership. There’s nothing wrong with falling, just so long as you get back up, learn from your mistakes and try again. People will respect your more for attempting to do something great, rather than attempting to do nothing at all. Fear, pride and ego can hold you back from achieving the impossible if you let it, but once you learn to overcome it, you will reach unbelievable new heights. Once you have a plan for the level of success you want to reach, you will be well on your way.
Take for example a man’s desire to get close to a woman. You’ll first have to plan your approach based on a number of different factors: Her mood, surroundings, body language, etc. After figuring out the best way to approach her, you then have to figure out a way to conclude what she is missing from her life and how you will add value to her life. After you’ve succeeding in getting her attention, you then have to plan the next steps for keeping her attention. For the average man, this process is like clockwork, and after years of practice, one may even become an expert at picking up women. Success at picking up women can be fun, but rest assured there is so much more to life, and you can achieve so much more in other areas of your life if you applied the same hard work, dedication and discipline used in picking up women for example.
Take for example a job opportunity. To increase your chances at landing an interview and getting hired, you would first research the company, figure out what positions are available, come up with a creative resume and cover letter specifically geared towards that particular company, apply for the job, follow up, and then make a great impression during the interview. It’s not hard to do, you simply have to want it badly enough to not allow anything to get in your way. By disciplining yourself and focusing on your goals, it’s possible to achieve anything. If you allow yourself to get distracted by things that don’t add value to your life, you’ll be taking value away from you life and the people who have grown to depend on you.
Being a man isn’t about your age, how much facial hair you have, how deep your voice is or how effortlessly you could strong arm someone. Being a man is about maturity, growth, and being a responsible and fully functioning member of society. It means that you have integrity and you treat yourself and others with dignity and respect, you pay your bills on time, you are stable both emotionally and spiritually and constantly working to improve yourself. It’s a lot of work to be successful in all areas of your life, but it’s indeed worth it. Being successful in one area will give you the confidence and motivation to aspire to be successful in the others.
Happiness is about how well you can balance the many challenges you will face in life. Throughout the course of your life, you will experience good times, bad times, ups, down and complete turnarounds, and you need to be ready for it. The first step to accomplishing this is to connect on a spiritual level to a higher power, submitting to that power, and then allowing that power to influence every aspect of your life. Having a positive and optimistic outlook on life will help you to overcome any and every obstacle in your life, and it will also rub off on other people. When people see that you are full of joy and happiness through all you’re going through, you give them hope, and for this they will want to remain closely associated with you.
It’s particularly important for a man to figure out his purpose in life because we are expected to lead. No one (man or woman) who knows their worth wants to follow behind a man who is financially irresponsible, emotionally unstable, or spiritually lost. But once you finally walk into your purpose and shine the light that has always been inside of you, you will begin to see the trust amongst your family members and friends regained, relationships repaired and rebuilt, and hope once again restored. It’s one thing for a person to not trust you, it’s another for you to be not trustworthy. People want to see you do well, but they can’t achieve success for you and are waiting for you to believe in yourself and show them through actions how your belief system has driven you to prosperity. Only then will they opt to follow your proven path of leadership.
Even after you have achieved personal success, it’s important then for you to aspire for something greater. Never grow complacent, for once you stop working towards being better, doing better and having better, the people around you will no longer look to you for that glimmer of hope that shined when you climbed mountains, broke barriers and achieved the impossible. As a man, you should look to be great and inspire greatness in those around you. That is what leadership is all about; showing others how it’s done, being fearless, taking risks, being open to ideas and executing them to the best of your ability.
A man without a plan will never achieve long-term success with a woman of substance because ultimately she wants to be led into prosperity. It’s easy to lead a woman who lacks substance astray because she hasn’t yet figured out what her value as a woman is, or what value you as a man should bring to the table. Going after women who don’t know their worth is like challenging a child in an arm wrestling match. Sure you’ll win the fight, but there’s no glory in it, there’s no pride, and there’s certainly no greater sense of accomplishment because the goals you’ve set for yourself weren’t high enough. There is greater value in knowing who you are, where you’re going, and who you want to take with you than wasting valuable time at pit stops along the road to success.
Achieving short-term success with a woman who lacks substance takes away from the time you could be spending building yourself up to become the quality man of substance you were destined to be. No matter what quality of women you’re attracting now, once you’ve become the best man you can possibly be, you’ll attract the best possible woman. When you finally grow into your manhood, you’ll develop not only physically, but also financially, spiritually and emotionally. Attracting a more quality woman however is only one of the many perks that come with being a quality man of substance. Your relationship with other men will be strengthened because they now admire your discipline, your drive, and your determination; they value your leadership. You’ll have respect amongst your peers.
Setting higher goals for yourself and achieving them will help you to further see your value, and allow others to also see the value in you. Consider yourself a diamond in the rough; Instead of covering yourself up with things that hide who you are and who you are destined to be, take the time dust yourself off so that you can see yourself shine, build up your confidence/esteem so that when you step out into the world, you not only know your worth, but you show your worth. Knowing what your value as a man will be the key that unlocks the doors to job opportunities, a closer relationship with your friends/family members, a life of prosperity with a quality woman of substance, but most of all peace of mind within yourself.
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Life & Relationship Coach