Q: There’s this girl I friended on Facebook. I don’t know her in real life but we are now “FB friends” and just interact via messages and status updates and we do communicate well too. I’m trying to think of how to ask her out without being all wierd about it what would you recommend doing to go about doing that?
A: Women like men who are confident in themselves and in their abilities. The first step you need to take is believing that you are someone worth knowing, having as a friend, dating, and more. When you believe in yourself, others will believe in you. With this in mind, never be afraid to go after something you want, no matter the situation. No one walking this earth is a God, we are all human beings! If you want a loan for money, if you want a promotion at your job, if you want to take a woman out on a date, ask and you shall receive. If your proposal is denied, it’s not the end of the world, you live to be accepted or rejected another day!
If/when you’re rejected, use this experience to help you better formulate a plan to get accepted the next time around. The worst that can happen is you will be told “No, thank you. I’m not interested!”, but there’s also a possibility of being told yes, but that’s only if you put in the request. Women enjoy being pursued by men, but she will not give everyone the privilege of going on a date. What motivates a woman to go on a date with a man is a) her physical attraction to him b) her spiritual connection with him c) her desire to simply be wined and dined by a man who can afford to do so (A.K.A. The convenience) all of which are heavily influenced by her current emotional state.
Friendship is the key to romance, so if see a woman you feel would make a great wife, using the friendship approach is a great way to show her that you value her time, energy, conversation, and presence. Friendship also allows you to get closer to a woman’s heart, her interests, her background, and will open up a doorway to information that will inevitably make her vulnerable to you. With this valuable insight, you can use what you’ve learned to fill any voids you’ve discovered are missing in her life.
Your friendship, just as your money & resources are valuable and should be protected. Not everyone will be deserving of your time, energy, money & resources, so choose wisely. Life & Relationships is like a game of chess; study your target, plan your next move(s), and always keep your mate in check! When you are pursuing someone, you have to study them and feed off of their energy; everything they say and do should influence the next thing(s) you say and do. You should prepare in your mind exactly what you might say or do in the event that your target moves left, right, up, or down, leaving them nowhere to go but right in front of you!
In studying your target, you may come to find that that person isn’t interested in entertaining you at all, and when this happens, you put that person in the “convenience” box. In other words, give a person the same amount of energy they are giving you. If a person is giving you 0%, you give them 0%, the same goes for 100%, 70% 40% 10%, etc! Go where you’re celebrated! You want to give a person you’re all, and you want the same in return! Conversation, dating, and relationships shouldn’t be a struggle between two people, this should be an enjoyable time that’s mutually beneficial for both parties.
When two people are genuinely interested in having a romantic relationship with one another, the signs are evident! This is called “Chemistry”; there’s nothing forced, it’s completely natural. When two positives come together, there’s a positive reaction which leads to more positive interaction. When you speak to a person of interest, their reaction will be that of mutual interest (if there is chemistry). If there is no chemistry, put forth time, energy, and effort into someone you have made a connection with. Commit yourself to those who constantly give you hope; omit yourself from people who constantly give you doubt!
Life is about building relationships and leaving behind legacies! Continue to live your life, go after the things you want and be fearless in doing so. By setting goals, having ambition, and being determined, you will develop strong interpersonal skills that will help you see past a person’s intimidating persona, and continue to knock, open, and even break down doors to get the things you want in life! You only live once! A man should always be the aggressor and pursue a woman and be confident in doing so. Shy and timid are two traits that a woman does not look for in a man who wants to at some point protect and provide for her. Believe in yourself, be the aggressor, and close the deal!
“If at first you don’t succeed, dust yourself off and try again!” -Aaliyah
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Life & Relationship Coach