My Close Encounter With A PornStar!

As a Life & Relationship Coach, my mission is to enlighten and empower women and encourage men to be the best men they can be. We are all on a path towards growth and development, and have come from a life of sin on one level or another. Having a dark side doesn’t make a person evil, it makes them “human”. It’s important that we love ourselves and after we’re done, love everyone else and help one another grow! By reaching out to someone who’s life is in the dark, you can help bring them to the light.

I was approached by an adult film star who had been in the industry for 20+ years; she had an idea for a radio show which would provide men and women with sex education. She was already familiar with the informative platforms I’ve established on social networks which provided motivation and inspiration, as well as in depth insight on life & relationships for readers. She thought it would be a nice touch to have a male Life & Relationship Coach as a co-host on her show to provide a different perspective.

“An opportunity to help more people build happier/healthier relationships with one another” is what came to mind. I had never seen her perform, and she presented herself via message and phone as someone who now wanted to be known/valued/appreciated/respected for more than her body. This was commendable and for this reason, I agreed to meet with her and hear more about her story and her vision.

If you’ve lived life on this earth and have had experiences with others, then you have a story to tell that no one else has ever heard. By listening to others, you open up a door of opportunity to gain “new” information. We all have enough knowledge to be a Life & Relationship Coach, however what many of us lack is the “desire” to be a Life & Relationship Coach. To be a coach of any kind, you simply have to have the desire to help others become “better”. Your ability to educate, motivate and inspire is what people will ultimately believe in.

When I met with her for the first time, she reminded me of a young girl with a voice that was overly eager to be heard. She wanted and needed an audience so that she could express herself openly and freely. As we talked more and more, I listened and allowed her to tell me about any and everything. There was a lot on her mind. Our meeting lasted for hours! In these brief hours, I was able to assess who she was, who she is, and who she wants to be.

When a child doesn’t have someone to play with, someone to talk to, or someone who will listen and take a genuine interest in them, they will go to whatever source will allow them this freedom! This behavior also carries on into adulthood if it goes unaddressed early on. A “child” who doesn’t get proper love/care/nurturing from home will gravitate towards any adult who is loving/caring/nurturing; they will very much love going back to this source, and often resent coming back home. As is the case for “adults” who don’t get the proper love/care/protection they needed at home. They find a source who offers something more than what they’ve received at home, and gravitate towards that source.

Throughout a person’s life, there needs to be a spiritual journey where they forget about finding love in others, and find love within themselves. Some people never take that path, and for others, it may take years. If you can find love and happiness within yourself, you’ll never go a day without it. When you love yourself, you treat yourself & others with dignity and respect, and with this lifestyle, you will attract more positive/respectable individuals who are willing to “add” value to your life.

While speaking to the adult film actress, I assumed that she had taken a spiritual journey, had found herself, and was determined to make a difference in the lives of young men and women, and inspire them to love/respect themselves and everyone else. When I finally met the producer of the show, it had come to my attention that she was “still” in the adult film industry. This made me ponder as to what kind of message she would now be sending to both of our audiences.

My agenda for being on the show was to enlighten and empower women, and encourage men to be the best men they can be. Even if this meant disagreeing with the morals, values, and character of the host. My expectations of the host was for her to be the person she has portrayed herself to be not in our 3+ hour meeting, but in the past 20+ years of her life. In order to clearly see who a person is today, you have to look at who they were and what did to get here “yesterday” and all the days before. When a person shows you who they are, believe them!

While it’s not our place to “cast” judgments on one another, it is extremely important to “make” judgments on one another based on their character, in order to determine your level of involvement with them, or the lack thereof. Once you’ve made a judgment, you have now enabled yourself to predict and prepare for the behavior that a person has already shown they are capable of exhibiting in their past.

I love a challenge, so I agreed to do the radio show for an opportunity to share my perspective with someone I knew didn’t share the same morals, values, and principles as I did. I came on board in hopes that there were many others who also shared her morals, values, and principles, and could possibly be brought to the light. Naturally, throughout our meetings, our difference of opinions on Life & Relationships were on two different spectrums, and after one show, it was quite clear to the host and the producer that our lifestyles and characters weren’t in alignment with what they wanted for the show.

Love conquers all! This collaboration would have meant a breakthrough for many young women who degrade themselves in the sex industry and everywhere else around the world. This venture would have symbolized an opportunity for a woman to stand up and show all the women of the world what it means to finally love and respect yourself (as a lady, a daughter, and a mother). This movement would have symbolized “growth” as opposed to “complacency”. But in order for someone to grow, you first have to plant the seed.

Before you can love anyone, or place yourself in a position to spread love to the masses, you first have to love yourself. Sharing perspectives, enlightening one another inspires growth and it also inspires “change”. It’s free to listen, and with listening comes understanding, with understanding comes knowledge, and with knowledge comes power! The world is your source for information; use what adds value to your life, and discard the rest. Never close yourself off from a source of knowledge that can add value to your life, but always be open and willing to receive it, and share it with others. This is the key to growth!

If you’ve been inspired by today’s blog, please subscribe, post your comments below, and share it with your friends. Also, please add me on Facebook & Follow me on Twitter!

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Life & Relationship Coach

-AskCheyB

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