Modern Day Match Maker “Paul C. Brunson” recently had a dating challenge for the ladies. He suggested that they ask 10 different men out on a date just to try something different.
It’s definitely a great idea to have multiple available options when you’re dating. A woman asking a man out on a date though has it’s pros and cons. A pro would be that a man will more than likely say “yes” if you asked him out on a date. A con would be that although he said “yes” and entertained you on a date, he will not value you enough to take you seriously long-term, no matter how well the date went. The reason for this is his motivation to take you out on a date was not inspired by his own genuine interest. In other words, “You were too easy”.
When a man asks a woman out however, he’s already established that he’s interested and that she’s worth spending time, energy, and money on. He also has a budget laid out just for their special evening out. If/when a woman asks the man out, she puts him in a compromising position… sort of obligating him to spend time, energy, and money on her. There are certain things that will prevent a man from asking a woman out, so if/when a man is finally ready to entertain a woman on the dating scene, it has to be on his terms.
A few of those reasons are:
*He’s not emotionally available
*He’s currently involved with someone
*He can’t afford to take you out
*He doesn’t feel you are worth taking out
*He’s only interested in sex (with you)
When you allow a man to take the initiative and ask you out, you put yourself in a better position to measure his level of interest in you and also test his character. When it’s “his” idea, he then becomes obligated to plan the entire night out (i.e. researching and choosing a place for yall to go based on everything you’ve told him about yourself, he’ll be more than happy to spend money on your date because he’ll be the one choosing a place that fits within his budget, and by showing this initiative, it becomes evident that he feels your worth it, and that he values you for more than just sex, and by him putting forth all this time, energy, and effort, he had better be single, otherwise once the truth comes to light, he’ll have wasted his time, energy, effort, and money, not to mention he’ll have lost your trust.
The purpose of dating is to have fun with individuals you might be potentially interested in growing with. Although it may still be “fun” to go out on a date with a man you’ve just thrown yourself at, it probably won’t bring you any closer to finding the man you’d be able to grow with do to the average male’s psychological conditioning. A more effective approach would be to signal the guy you’re interested in by giving him “The Look” and then allowing “him” to take full initiative.
By taking this approach, you know for sure whether or not he’s interested in you. If he’s not interested, he won’t approach. If he’s shy and timid, he won’t approach. But if he’s confident, has high esteem, and is emotionally available, he will approach. <<< And that’s the guy you want. Shy and timid won’t come in handy later on down the line when you’re faced with real life issues and you need a real man to step in and take charge so don’t pity him. After approaching you, exchanging info, etc he will figure out what he needs to do next if he wants to see you again. Meanwhile, you’re sitting back, relaxing, and enjoying being a woman while the man does all the vigorous work.
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Life & Relationship Coach