It’s always a good idea to keep your options open when you’re single, because you never know what to expect out of man who has no obligation to you. The last thing you want to do is waste your good years sitting around waiting on this one great guy you’re dating to make things official. It’s indeed honorable and respectable to be exclusive to one man, but only when that one man is committed to you! Be loyal only to those who are loyal to you.
If you’re single and interested in being entertained by the opposite sex, take advantage of the wonderful world of dating. Dating is a great way to take your mind off of your regular, everyday life and have fun with someone you’re mutually interested in. There’s no obligation when dating someone, so you don’t have to feel guilty about exploring multiple options. Just be sure not to take on so many options that you’re unable to make a decision on who best fits into your life. Date with a purpose! If the man you’re considering dating isn’t someone you see as potential, then focus more of your time on the candidates you do see as potential.
Spreading yourself too thin can possibly cause you to take for granted a potentially great guy, so be sure to know how many you can handle at one time. Once you begin to get closer to a particular admire, it’s ok to let go of the less qualified ones and focus more of your time on the leading man. Between work, your regular everyday life, and dating multiple men, your time and energy will become quite limited. You want to leave room to be able to develop feelings for these men you’re dating, so that hopefully in the near future things can escalate into more. On the plus side, being completely booked will make it easier for you to decline any men who are not worthy of dating you. A great way to avoid being around the bad guys, is to surround yourself with the good ones.
A lot of women become “slaves” to a man she’s dating because he’s her “only hope”. Dating multiple men will prevent you all from falling victim to this vicious cycle. The great thing about dating is… there’s no obligation! You’re not required to sleep with any of these men, you don’t have to promise them anything, and there’s no commitment. But do note that the men who are showing interest in you are doing so as investment. If you’re no interested in at least exploring the possibility of getting close to someone, save your date and yourself some time and decline the offers.
If you are interested in exploring possibilities with these men, by all means enjoy the experience, and be selective. Not everyone gets a date! The men who are seeking your hand will see that you are busy with work, life, and “other things” so they will try even harder to get your attention. You’ll notice that some of the less patient and less interested men will sometimes kick themselves to the curb… because they don’t see the value in investing in you, can’t afford to invest in you, or never even planned on investing in you. This is how you weed out the serious ones from the ones who only want to get closer to your body. A great way to measure a man’s interest in you is by the amount of time, energy, effort, and money he puts into you. Time and money are two things that men value and don’t easily part with.
When you’re a single, work on being the best person you can be so that you can attract the best people. People invest more if what they’re investing in is in high demand and/or prove to be of great value. If a man is at a point in his life where he’s achieving great things, he’s also going to want to associate with a woman who is doing the same and can potentially upgrade him.
When you’re single, you are free to do whatever it is you want to do and answer to no one but yourself, and this is the beauty of being independent. No matter how long you’ve been dating someone, if the two of you are not exclusive, you’re not obligated to inform a man on who you are talking to/dating/sleeping with/etc until the two of you have become exclusive. A man will use this fact either as motivation to gain exclusivity from you, or move along to someone else. Don’t worry, this is simply a matter of pride and ego; you can stroke his pride and ego once he’s become the man in your life, not a man in your life.
While you’re single… enjoy mingling! Men totally understand that if he doesn’t ask you to be his woman, then you have the right to entertain anyone you please. If he asks, you can tell him, “I’m exploring my options”. There are some men who won’t be too happy about this theory of practice, but they have no choice but to respect it. Truth be told, the only reason why he’s not too thrilled about it is because he’s no longer in a position of power. To be in power means to be able to influence or gain control. The only way a man should be allowed to influence your life is when he is committed to being influential in your life.
Men have been playing the “date multiple people at once” since the beginning of time! A man dates multiple women at once so that he can maintain his regular dosage of sex, while also maintaining his independence. A man already knows the role he wants for a woman to play in his life before he even meets her, so if he doesn’t see potential in a woman upfront, he’ll still date her only to appease her and keep the sex coming. This is why it’s important that you date multiple men because there are many men out there who are simply not interested in settling down, but will still take you through the loop!
Over time, a man becomes a woman’s “dream date”, because he knows just what to do, what to say, and how to make a woman feel. After a great evening though, the man might disappear off of the face of the earth and totally confuse you as to what happened. You might think that he’s not interested, or that he’s busy, and both could very well be the case, but one of the most relevant reasons of all is that he’s entertaining other women. A man doesn’t abandon a woman he plans on taking seriously, he instead will focus his time, energy, and effort on that one woman if he’s ready. If he’s not ready, he will keep her as a convenience and call her when it’s convenient.
If you allow a man to get too close too soon, he may feel a sense of entitlement. As a single woman, you have to stand firm, and make it clear that you’re not his woman, and that you’re merely a woman he’s dating. If his pride and ego cannot handle the fact that you have an actual right to date other men and figure out what’s best for you, then by all means… he has the right remove himself from your life all together. If he decides to leave, make a note of his lack of loyalty and willingness to fight for you. When a person shows you who they are in the beginning, you can’t expect them to be any different in the end.
If you’re living your life, you’re not worried about what somebody else is doing; If you’re worried about what somebody else is doing, you’re not living your life. You cannot control what another person does with their lives, you can only control you! This holds true no matter what type of relationship you have, but with a commitment comes trust. Before a commitment is in place, you have to expect that the other person you’re dating is living their lives and doing whatever it is they want to do. This is why it’s important to date with a purpose and give more of your time to individuals who prove to be interested in a relationship that holds value.
Often times when you only have one option, you’ll find yourself clinging, and that’s never an admirable trait that men look for in a woman. Sure… the idea of having a woman chasing behind him might work well for a man when he’s bored, but when the woman who is dependent on him is not his, the obligation he feels will become a turn off! A man likes to have a woman who has other options, but chooses him as her option. He likes the fact that she’s in high demand, has limited time to spare, but out of all the admirers, she finds joy in spending her time him.
BTW ladies, the idea of a woman dating multiple men isn’t to use them. The idea behind a woman dating multiple men is a strategy to find a worthy suitor to be in a relationship with. This method is designed to help you avoid getting stuck dating the guy who’s not serious, and connect you with the ones who are. Now that you’re back on the dating scene, it’s time that you look out for your best interest. Dating should be a mutually beneficial arrangement, so be sure that what you’re putting in the date is something that he will value. The both of you are investing your time and energy, however if you’ve dating for awhile, he’ll more than likely be investing his money. Be creative and come up with different ways you can add value to his life so that he can continue to be motivated to do nice things for you.
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Life & Relationship Coach