When A Man Only Wants To See You At Your Place Or His…

There are quite a few factors that come into play when it comes to the way a man will treat you. One is his upbringing, his male influences, and the morals, values, and principles he’s grown accustomed to. Another would be his current position in life (i.e. His living situation, his financial situation, and his self-esteem or the way he feels about his life). And lastly, the way he feels about you. The way he feels about you will be determined solely on what he knows about you.

What he knows about you is concluded based on what you’ve shown him during the introduction (i.e. Where you both met, what you were wearing, the words that were exchanged, etc). If during the introduction you came off (to him) as an honorable & respectable woman, he will do one of three things a) Treat you with dignity and respect and attempt forming a relationship with you b) Leave you alone because he’s not at a place in his life where he can match up to or appreciate you b) Turn on his manipulative charm and attempt to degrade you from your honorable/respectable position because he himself isn’t there).

It’s extremely important to know how the man who’s interested in you truly feels about you. It’s equally important to know how he feels about himself and his current position in life, so don’t be afraid to informally ask him. If he doesn’t love himself, there’s no way he could possibly love you.  Also, if he’s unable to take care of himself financially and emotionally, there’s no way he could take care of a woman, and there’s no way he could take care of a child, if sex & pregnancy were to come into the picture.

There are instances where you’ll come across a guy who you are mutually interested in, but his finances aren’t in order. Don’t take pity on him, he is a man, and if you really want to have a future with him, you will make it clear to him  (through your actions, not words) that you will not entertain a man who doesn’t take care of himself and have his finances in order. You do this through actions by not giving him the opportunity to get close to you. If you do it with your words, you will give him the grandest opportunity to manipulate you and change your mind.

Lack of a job, or lack of money will be one of the reasons why a man you’re mutually interested in does not take you out. It’s not because he doesn’t want to, but because he can’t afford to. And if he can’t afford to, his priority needs to be on finding employment, and making a living so that he can provide for himself and in the future, entertain dating.

The other instance where a man might not take you out is when he feels you’re not worth it. A man knows what position he wants a woman to play in his life before he even meets her. If he views you as just someone he can sleep with, the chances are he will not want to spend a dime on you, but he will do everything in his power to try to get you in bed. A date (for him) would be a very last resort, as he doesn’t want to get emotionally involved with you, only physically. With that in mind, it’s important that as a woman you pay attention to the type of image you’re presenting to men, because once a man categorize you, there’s no changing his mind. And you may find yourself really liking this guy and drive yourself crazy trying to change the way he views you and feels about you. To avoid this, always present yourself in the way that you want people to know and remember you.

If you’re unsure whether or not the guy simply cannot afford to take you out, or if he just doesn’t like you enough to want to take you out & only wants a sexual relationship with you, try suggesting something you could do outside of the home that may be free. If he accepts, it’s because he can’t afford to take out. If he declines, it’s because he doesn’t value you and does not want to build a relationship with you. The only place he wants you to go with him are to the bedroom, and out the door.

If you sense that he’s only after sex, cut him off immediately.  If you feel he’s into you, but cannot afford to take you out, cut him off too (but only until he gets his finances in order). If you entertain him while his finances are not in order, your feelings for him will soon grow so strong that you’ll find yourself becoming his financer, paying for everything (literally) just for an opportunity to spend time with him. Much better you be a friend to him (from a distance), and date other men, and if later on down the line he gets his finances in order, and you’re both still available, go for it. But don’t wait around 😉

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Life & Relationship Coach



17 thoughts on “When A Man Only Wants To See You At Your Place Or His…

  1. I wish I read this 2 years ago. I think it’s common sense but sometimes it’s difficult when you go off emotions (something I’m learning not to do).

    1. Hello Lindsey, I appreciate you reading and sharing your thoughts. I would love for you to share this blog with your facebook friends and encourage them to subscribe. Everyone has sense, but not all of it is “common”. This is why we often have “Paradigm shifts” or “A change in the mind” when we come across a new perspective. As long as your mind is open to learning new things and growing everyday, you’ll always be susceptible to gaining new wisdom.

      Follow me: @AskCheyB

  2. First time here & my jaw is hanging…in a good way. Very real, honest, un-coated, helpful answer. I was there before & knew it fairly quickly but my miracle orgasms with him made me find reasons to go back for about 6 months. I am happy that I had strength enough to walk away during the most delicate, needy times of my life, the loss of both my parents 15 months apart. My remaining problem is that never before Chuck had I orgasmed with my lover, outside of one boyfriend when I was about 18. Ultimately there is 20 years of dating not having an orgasm then out of this man’s room came one after the other and on up to 5 in 1 night. Why…did my parents passing have anyhing to do with it? I was raised strict Catholic, but I have since had relations with othe rmen and, nope, no orgasms. What am I going to do?

  3. This was a good read. Your exactly right on so many levels. I am trying to get unstuck from someone who is not financially stable or emotionally stable and its a process. Thanks for the read!!!!!
    Ms. J.

  4. Woo, it cool but this advice is just for the lady. I will love to see something like this for us guys too.thanks a million…..

  5. This is so true. And as previous person stated, it seems so common sense, but when emotions are involved, all rationale goes out the window.
    Great post, and something to think about.

  6. i really feel screwed up ! so that i searched in internet for this issue and i found this article very correct and valuable .
    thank you

  7. Interesting, wish I would of known this a lot sooner. The guy I Dated for year & half he is …c) Turn on his manipulated charm and attempt to degrade me from my honorable/respectable position n/c he isn’t there himself. He didn’t have no real job & never took me any where.

  8. It all make sense. I was interested in a guy that did not have a job, so I suggested going to the beach or long walk some where. He declined, so I just assumed he was not interested…slowly I kind of backed off, he found a job shortly after and he finally asked me out on a date six months later, but it took us 6 months to finally connect (a few days ago). I’m not sure if he wants me as a friend or something else. He has always been very respectful towards me.

  9. If only i could have read this about a year and a half ago…i would not be so torn up about losing him now…i saw the signs but just ignored them…i feel so stupid….but thanks it made me fell better to see it in black and white (hahahaha) hes black and im white.
    .thanks again

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