Marriage is meant to be a life-long commitment, so it deserves every bit of special attention when preparing yourself for it. Before taking this step towards a happy life with someone else, you want to make sure you have a happy life as an individual. Marriage isn’t only about having a man who will take care of you; it’s also about you being ready, willing, and able to take care of him. These 20 steps will serve as an excellent guide for preparing yourself for a happy, healthy relationship, and help you work towards a marriage.
Step 1: Self-evaluation- (i.e. How do you feel about the person you are inside and out?) You have to love yourself before you love someone else.
Step 2: Presentation- Always present yourself as the person you want to be known and remembered as. Men are visual and will evaluate you 1st based on your appearance and also by the way you carry yourself.
Step 3: The Introduction- Remember you’re a lady! Maintain control! Just give a guy you’re interested in “the look” & he will come right over & initiate convo. This will show your submissive side, while allowing him to take the lead.
Step 4: Friendship- There will be plenty of time for sex, but if you want a future with this man, 1st get to know him and find out if you even like the guy. Friendship is the key to romance!
Step 5: Dating- Focus on the man who focuses on you, but in the meantime, keep your options open. Date multiple people at once.
Step 6: Sex- Friendship doesn’t come with benefits. Benefits come with a commitment. If he wants sex, your relationship has to be exclusive. Know your worth!
Step 7: Commitment- You’ve been dating this guy for a while, the chemistry is great, and you’ve established a great friendship, and you’re ready to take the next step. Go ahead and make it official! Let him ask to be exclusive with you.
Step 8: Incorporate The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Relationships (according to Chey B.) Those habits are: Respect, Love, Trust, Support, Loyalty, Honesty & Communication.
Step 9: Consistency- Everything you brought to the table in the beginning should not only remain, but it should get better. Never stop competing for your partner’s love and affection.
Step 10: Share your world! Introduce your partner to any/everyone who is important in your life. This shows him that you want him to be a part of it. Even a man wants to feel special.
Step 11: Space- Allow each other just enough room to breathe, but not enough room to leave. Give yourselves the opportunity to miss one another.
Step 12: Growth- If you want to grow as a couple, it’s important that you do things “as a couple”. Not all the time, but most of the time.
Step 13: Secrets- If you can’t be open and honest with your partner, you are not ready for a relationship. Stay single until you’re ready to be vulnerable. Being in a relationship means that you’re a team! Keep secrets with your partner, not from your partner.
Step 14: Male friends- Platonic friendship is an oxymoron! All men have a motive! Friendship is the key to romance and men use this approach to get close to a woman’s heart, mind, and body! Your partner should be your one and only male friend! Keep the peace in your relationship by dismissing them all!
Step 15: Single friends- You’re in a relationship now! From time to time, your single friends will invite you out to share their world, but instead, invite them in to come and share yours instead. Use this as an opportunity to show your single friends the value in being in a committed relationship while also strengthening yours.
Step 16: Engagement- Don’t waste countless years of your life hoping, wishing, and praying for a marriage proposal. A man knows from the very beginning whether he wants to marry you or not. Expect a proposal no later than year two or three.
Step 17: Wedding Plans- Communicate with your partner, set a time-line for the activities leading up to the wedding, as well as a tentative wedding date, work together and find a way to include both parties’ family and friends to help assist. Start planning the wedding within weeks after the engagement.
Step 18: Getting Married- After 2-3 years of following the rules of relationships, you’re certain that you want to spend the rest of your life with this man. Go for it! You are about to become an official team; you are one! Let no one and nothing come between you two. You marriage should be impenetrable and inseparable! Always protect and value this union!
Step 19: Moving in- You’re about to find out new things about your husband. Don’t be alarmed; simply observe, take notes, and prepare to make any necessary adjustments.
Step 20: Relationship Turmoil- Remember all the steps you took to get to where you are, and know that your marriage is worth fighting for. Never stop loving one another. Marriage is forever!
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Life & Relationship Coach