“20 Steps To Building A Long Lasting Relationship With The Man You Want”

Marriage is meant to be a life-long commitment, so it deserves every bit of special attention when preparing yourself for it. Before taking this step towards a happy life with someone else, you want to make sure you have a happy life as an individual. Marriage isn’t only about having a man who will take care of you; it’s also about you being ready, willing, and able to take care of him. These 20 steps will serve as an excellent guide for preparing yourself for a happy, healthy relationship, and help you work towards a marriage.

Step 1: Self-evaluation- (i.e. How do you feel about the person you are inside and out?) You have to love yourself before you love someone else.

Step 2: Presentation- Always present yourself as the person you want to be known and remembered as. Men are visual and will evaluate you 1st based on your appearance and also by the way you carry yourself.

Step 3: The Introduction- Remember you’re a lady! Maintain control! Just give a guy you’re interested in “the look” & he will come right over & initiate convo. This will show your submissive side, while allowing him to take the lead.

Step 4: Friendship- There will be plenty of time for sex, but if you want a future with this man, 1st get to know him and find out if you even like the guy. Friendship is the key to romance!

Step 5: Dating- Focus on the man who focuses on you, but in the meantime, keep your options open. Date multiple people at once.

Step 6: Sex- Friendship doesn’t come with benefits. Benefits come with a commitment. If he wants sex, your relationship has to be exclusive. Know your worth!

Step 7: Commitment- You’ve been dating this guy for a while, the chemistry is great, and you’ve established a great friendship, and you’re ready to take the next step. Go ahead and make it official! Let him ask to be exclusive with you.

Step 8: Incorporate The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Relationships (according to Chey B.) Those habits are: Respect, Love, Trust, Support, Loyalty, Honesty & Communication.

Step 9: Consistency- Everything you brought to the table in the beginning should not only remain, but it should get better. Never stop competing for your partner’s love and affection.

Step 10: Share your world! Introduce your partner to any/everyone who is important in your life. This shows him that you want him to be a part of it. Even a man wants to feel special.

Step 11: Space- Allow each other just enough room to breathe, but not enough room to leave. Give yourselves the opportunity to miss one another.

Step 12: Growth- If you want to grow as a couple, it’s important that you do things “as a couple”. Not all the time, but most of the time.

Step 13: Secrets- If you can’t be open and honest with your partner, you are not ready for a relationship. Stay single until you’re ready to be vulnerable. Being in a relationship means that you’re a team! Keep secrets with your partner, not from your partner.

Step 14: Male friends- Platonic friendship is an oxymoron! All men have a motive! Friendship is the key to romance and men use this approach to get close to a woman’s heart, mind, and body! Your partner should be your one and only male friend! Keep the peace in your relationship by dismissing them all!

Step 15: Single friends- You’re in a relationship now! From time to time, your single friends will invite you out to share their world, but instead, invite them in to come and share yours instead. Use this as an opportunity to show your single friends the value in being in a committed relationship while also strengthening yours.

Step 16: Engagement- Don’t waste countless years of your life hoping, wishing, and praying for a marriage proposal. A man knows from the very beginning whether he wants to marry you or not. Expect a proposal no later than year two or three.

Step 17: Wedding Plans- Communicate with your partner, set a time-line for the activities leading up to the wedding, as well as a tentative wedding date, work together and find a way to include both parties’ family and friends to help assist. Start planning the wedding within weeks after the engagement.

Step 18: Getting Married- After 2-3 years of following the rules of relationships, you’re certain that you want to spend the rest of your life with this man. Go for it! You are about to become an official team; you are one! Let no one and nothing come between you two. You marriage should be impenetrable and inseparable! Always protect and value this union!

Step 19: Moving in- You’re about to find out new things about your husband. Don’t be alarmed; simply observe, take notes, and prepare to make any necessary adjustments.

Step 20: Relationship Turmoil- Remember all the steps you took to get to where you are, and know that your marriage is worth fighting for. Never stop loving one another. Marriage is forever!

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Life & Relationship Coach



7 thoughts on ““20 Steps To Building A Long Lasting Relationship With The Man You Want”

  1. Chey – I’m learning and growing as I speak and love the truth you put out. I had a conversation last night regarding the consistency that a women needs and crave so she can feel safe and secure. The rebuttal from this man >>> consistency goes both ways “it shouldn’t be one sided” and I agree. I think fear can keep us back from what’s lacking! Love your post keep up the good work.

  2. Chey great blog! I read it again becuase I need help! I was having a conversation with this gentleman I have been communicating with who lives in the Boogie Down Bronx ( do they still call it that:). I have good long conversations when he calls me, I don’t call him. And he follows my rule @ calling before 9:00PM

    Right now I am not sure about the distance thing, If I should tell him I will be in NYC for my birthday, my chronic illnesses, and the fact that my previous boyfriend stalked me. Those are my secrets right now. The way you spoke of women who had been stalked in a post on Facebook, I almost think I should not tell him about it. He has told me why his last relationship did not work, I’ve told him @ why my last relationship did not work out but not the aftermath for about 8 years of cyber stalking, stalking etc. I’m afraid the guy will think I am damaged goods and want nothing to do with me.

    I did tell him I have been celibate for the past ten years and he did not believe me. He has seen my picture and he could not believe a beautiful woman like me had not dated in such a long time and not had any sexual contact with anyone. He also does know my real age, which I don’t tell often. He thought I was about 25. The man is 51 and why would he want to date someone who was 25 anyway?

    Let me know what you think when you have time.

    I’d like to hire you as my relationship coach. What is your fee? Is your fee per session or several sessions?Do you work with long distance clients? I’m dead serious about this. I have more questions about this dating issue than I want to share with the world in a blog. I have worked with a career coach in the past and it worked wonders for me to get motivation to start my business. I have had some conversations with other relat. coaches and you are by far the best that I have encountered. I would really like to hire you! What do I need to do?

    Please e-mail me with the information about hiring you.

    Thank you for your time and consideration.

  3. Thanks for the wisdom and I agree with most of your blog. Disclaimer, I tried to respond before and got booted off. If this is a repeat please feel free to remove it.
    Anyway, I think your suggestions and encouraging words are wonderful for the most part 🙂 However, I do not want to spend valuable time waiting for a man who may or may not choose me, I’d rather that choice be mutual. I’ve waited before and I will never get that time back. Men should not be the only person in the relationship who knows where it’s going. I believe if you don’t know the purpose of a thing, you abuse it. I’d like to know his purpose. I don’t expect an immediate commitment or marriage proposal. However, I do want to know what his purpose is. Are you just trying to hit, do you want a long term relationship, or someone to dump all of your troubles on? Whether those intentions are clear or not, I become what I want to be to him by my own actions, meaning I choose . Women just need to be more empowered in my opinion. Women should be honest with themselves and realize what position they hold with a man. He doesn’t necessarily need to tell her. If she does not feel like a priority, she probably isn’t. Once that discovery is made, hopefully sooner than later, she should govern herself accordingly. Will this likely happen with the habits of men and women being as they are? Probably not. I can only say what I would like for my own relationships. I am not a man and I definitely yield to you as a man of experience and knowledge. I just wish people were a little more mature with their feelings and willingness to communicate HONESTLY.

  4. I agree with most of these and you have great insight; however my partner being my ONLY male friend? I don’t think so. I have male friends that I have known for 10 – 15 years that I won’t get rid of just because I have a partner. Most of them are married now anyway!

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