It’s important to have a few conversations over the phone prior to going out on an actual date so that you can get a feel of one another’s personality/character, and so that you can fill each other in on your personal interests, likes/dislikes, favorite foods/drinks, hobbies, education, work, background, and things of that nature. This gives the man an opportunity to register everything that you’ve mentioned and figure out what would be best for an official first date based on the things he’s learned about you. <<<< By him doing this, it shows that he’s willing to put forth time, energy, and effort into making sure that the official first date isn’t completely “generic” and that he feels you are worth going the extra mile for. <<< This is a great way to start a relationship off, and this is the first sign to see just how interested he is in potentially building a long lasting relationship with you.
Going out on an actual date is a great opportunity to see just how much a person is interested in you. It’s something fun to look forward to that will take you away from the kids, your job, and life’s hardships for at least a few hours. You get to throw on something nice, relax, and see what lies ahead with this new person. The less interested a man is in a woman, the more difficult it will be for him to bring himself to take initiative, plan a date, court a woman, and actually pay for the date because he knows that he’s simply not that interested in her and he just wants to sleep with her. So if a man takes this step, it’s at least a sign that he’s willing to try once and see how things go. And there’s no love lost in going out on date with someone you’re simply curious about.
Being on a date requires a person’s full attention, face to face interaction, eye contact, intellect, and more importantly it involves both parties time/energy/effort/money. The first date sets the tone on whether or not there will be a 2nd date, or possibly a future, so anything that’s in your control should be kept under control (i.e. Putting your cell phone on vibrate so that there are no interruptions, making sure not to look at other people whom you may find attractive as they walk by, and for the men, picking up the tab). <<<< These are signs that you respect each other and want to maintain that respect for future encounters.
A date can either seem too long, or too short. Time will fly when you’re having fun. If the energy is great, the vibes are there, and the conversation is flowing, neither one of you will be paying attention to the time. In fact, I’d be willing to bet that if one of you had an important appointment after the date, that you would be willing to run a few minutes late just to spend a little more time on the date. <<<< This is when you know things are going really well!!! At the end of the date there will be a warm feeling in your heart and you’ll want to somehow show your affection to this person.
This is when you pull back a little so that the man will want to look forward to earning those privileges in the future. Pull back “graciously” (not with an attitude). You don’t want to confuse him and ruin your chances for a 2nd date. And you don’t want to show too much affection, get him aroused, and have him trying to get you back to his place at the end of the date!!!! A hug and a “Thank you for the nice evening out” is sufficient enough. A passionate kiss will have him thinking about you sexually, and he’ll want more and more right away! Don’t be a tease. If you’re going to be a lady, be consistent through and through.
If the date did not go well, you’ll notice a lack of interest in the eyes, in the tone of their voice, in their body language during the date. They sometimes will portray a lack of respect by doing things such as looking at people whom they may find attractive walking by, texting, answering their phone, or they may even cut the date short due to an “emergency” or a “meeting”. He might be bold enough to request that you go dutch, or if he picks up the tab, he might do so with an attitude. He’ll only make sure you made it home safely if he drove you there. If you hear from him again, it won’t be to go on a 2nd date… it will be to come over to his place or to yours.
This is how “males” handle a date that didn’t go well. Men don’t write women off completely. When a man isn’t interested in a woman, he’ll still sleep with her, but he will no longer consider her for a relationship. With that said, dating is completely out!!! Women on the other hand will simply end all communication and move onto the next. There’s a world of possibilities as to what a person might do when they’re simply not that into you. But what counts is the way you both feel about each other after this encounter. If you don’t sense an immediate desire to be connected during and after the date, chances are the chemistry between you and the other person is not strong enough to warrant a 2nd date or further exploration. <<< If this is the case, cut your losses, and devote your time/energy/effort/money into someone you can potentially grow with.
If the date went well, you will notice that he will continue to do things (after the date is over) to prove that he is worthy of and interested in having more of your time (i.e. Picking up the tab, opening doors, making sure you made it home safely, and then… you will hear from him again before he goes to bed letting you know that he enjoyed his time with you). He will reach out to you whenever you’re on his mind throughout the week, and he will inquire on when he can see you again. <<< If this is the case, you’ve got yourself a winner. Have fun on your 2nd date! Good luck ;)
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Life & Relationship Coach