When two people connect with one another romantically, there’s a hint of love being shared (if nothing else). Depending on the relationship, this love can either be short-term, or long-term. Although men have been trained from childhood to be strong, be tough, and hide the way he’s truly feeling, women have proven to be very successful at bringing down these guards. A man loves the idea of opening up and expressing himself openly and freely, but he only does this with people he knows, trusts, and his developed a spiritual connection with. Prior to this spiritual connection, a man will only allow a woman access to him externally, while he guards himself internally.
Once a man finds a woman he can be himself with, he’ll fall deeply in love, and will share his thoughts, his dreams, and even his life story with her. If allowed, he will share himself with her sexually, however what keeps him coming back is the substance in that relationship. He finds joy and happiness in being with a woman who can offer more than just a rump in the hay, but even though he’s happy, it doesn’t necessarily mean he won’t go astray. Loyalty is one thing a woman has no control over; loyalty is something that’s instilled in a man’s character from the early stages of childhood, so thoroughly get to know a man and his past to get an idea of his level of loyalty. Anytime a man steps outside of the relationship, it’s not because he’s in love with another woman, or that he doesn’t love you, it’s simply because he doesn’t see the value in commitment.
The woman on the side is merely a source of entertainment, and after he’s done with her, he plans on going back home to where his heart is (his safety net). Men with poor morals and values sometimes allow their body’s to drift to another woman’s bed, while his heart remains with the woman he has at home. He doesn’t allow the woman on the side to get close to his heart because he reserves this exclusive access only for his main woman. Even though there are two women in the picture, he’ll always love one, and strictly lust the other. A man of substance seeks a spiritual & physical connection solely from the one woman he loves and holds dear.
Disclaimer: No matter the reasoning, cheating on your partner is a selfish act, it’s unacceptable, and should never be tolerated in any relationship.
When people commit to a romantic relationship, they share precious details and aspects of their lives (i.e. family, history, intimacy, etc). In order for a man to get this deeply involved with a woman, it will require extreme vulnerability, being vulnerable is much easier to do once he finds himself and reaches a level of contentment (spiritually, emotionally, and financially). When a man of substance is in love with a woman, his values shift; he honors and appreciates the woman he has at home and will let nothing come between them. It’s when a man does not truly value himself or the relationship that he’s open and willing to share himself with a new potential love interest. When you notice that a man doesn’t value his mind, body, soul, and even his money, you can’t allow yourself to submit to him and/or give him a position in your life.
Relationships aren’t for everybody; relationships are only for the ready! When a man is truly ready to be in a relationship, he’ll have reached a point in his life where he wants to have something exclusive. Most men don’t reach this point in his life until he’s had his fair share of encounters with different women, but no matter how long it takes, you should use this time focusing on “you”, not him. Being a single bachelor has its perks, but one of the things that’s always missing is exclusivity; knowing who, when, where, and why you’re sleeping with someone.
Not every man is mature enough to admit that he’s not ready for a relationship, and some men will even commit to a woman just to keep her around. All the while, he’ll have multiple different women that he entertains on the side. One might ask, “Why would a man do this as opposed to simply being single and living his life?” It’s because he’s selfish, but more importantly, he’s lost! He loves the idea of companionship, family life, exclusivity, but he can’t let go of the mistresses, the lies, and the deceit. He needs to take a step back from relationships and find himself before he finds a woman.
Love is something that a man learns how to do primarily from a woman! Survival is something that a man learns how to do primarily from another man. When a man entertains multiple women, he’s not doing it out of love, he’s doing it as a way to survive! He’s trying to find his way, and while doing so, he stops to indulge himself in the warm, loving, caring environment(s) that a woman offers. He’s not in love with any of these women; he’s simply showing them love so that they will show him love in return. After he’s done spreading love, he continues on his journey to find himself.
The more a man is in the company of a woman, the longer it will take him to find himself because for a man… a woman is often a great distraction. This is another reason why a man has to be ready for a relationship, because he has to give his woman time, energy, and effort. A man who is lost can’t afford to give a woman his time, energy, and effort because he’ll get sidetracked from reaching his goals. Many times a woman will try to help a man find himself, but sometimes in order to help a man, you have to love him from a distance, so that he can stay focused.
No matter your gender, you have to love yourself before you can love someone else. This is why it’s so important to get to know a person before getting yourself emotionally involved. When a person doesn’t love themselves, they’re likely to subconsciously do things that hurt themselves, and if you’re affiliated with that person, there’s a great chance of them hurting you too. When a man doesn’t love himself, it’s still possible for him to care about others, but there’s always the risk of him caring far less about others than he does for himself. When you meet a man who doesn’t hold himself to high regards, you want to step back and let him figure out who he wants to be on his own time.
When a man shows you his love, think short-term; you’ll notice that he makes you feel special, makes you feel like you’re the only one, but only when you’re around. This means he could be doing the same exact thing with multiple different women on every day of the week. Knowing your role in a man’s life is essential, and the way to figure out where you stand with a man is by getting to know him and coming to understand his morals and values system. There are many men who simply don’t value honesty, family, and monogamy, so it’s a great idea to know this upfront. You don’t want a man to loan you his love, you want a man to give you his love, give you his time, energy, and effort, and do so exclusively.
A man puts himself on the path of destruction when he lives a double life! No only is he doing himself a disservice, but he’s self-sabotaging the current relationship he’s in, and stunting his growth with the woman on the side. He hasn’t found love for himself, so each time he makes an attempt to love another woman on the side, he’ll be repeating the same cycle and hoping for different results; driving himself and every person involved insane. Some women don’t require a man to hide his current relationship, but for the women who don’t entertain such men, he’ll have to somehow convince her that he is single, which is impossible to do in truth. He’s developing stronger skills as a con-artist and slowly but surely becoming his act.
Before a man can lie to a woman, he first has to lie to himself! He lies to himself by pretending to be honest, knowing that he’s in fact being the total opposite. When a man starts a relationship off with a lie, this means he doesn’t consider you to be someone he wants to be with in truth. Men operate off of logic and reason, while women operate off of love. Throughout a man’s journey to find himself, he’ll discover that love has no reason. Unconditional love isn’t distributed evenly or easily, so when he finds that one woman who loves him unconditionally, he should hold onto her.
When a man gives you his love, think long-term; you’ll know he loves you not by what he says, but by what he does! You’ll also be able to tell a man is in love with you by the things he doesn’t do. When he refrains from doing things that would normally be acceptable during his single life, and cuts off certain people from his past, this is a great sign of a man’s potential to be loyal. It’s true that a man will say anything it takes to prove himself to a woman, but his actions will always speak far louder than his words. Never listen to a man’s words… always follow his actions.
The things a man does for the woman he loves will never be duplicated for a woman on the side. A man of substance who knows who he is, knows where he’s going, and knows what he wants for his life, values monogamy. He has too much invested in the woman and the life he has at home to entertain any other woman on the side. Sometimes women make the mistake of giving the same privileges to the man in the house as if he’s the man of the house. Just because a man is in your life, doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to be a part of your life. Depending on where a man is in his life emotionally and financially, you may just be his convenience. If you’re his convenience, then he’ll have no problem venturing off to another woman who he’s more interested in. If he’s the love of your life, and you’re the love of his life, he will be a man of honor and prove to be an exclusive lover, a protector, and a provider.
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Life & Relationship Coach