Men and beautiful women cannot be “just friends”…

All straight men have a motive!!! Straight men use “friendship” as a way to bring them closer to a woman and to possibly build a romantic relationship. They might pretend to be your friend, but in actuality, they’re using a well thought out, planned strategy that women don’t acknowledge as a strategy, or simply choose to ignore it as strategy. His agenda is to wait for as long as it takes until you’re in your most vulnerable state so that “you” will finally be ready to do what “he” have always wanted to do from the start. While the female may look at him as a “brother from another mother” or what have you, the male does not in any way shape or form view you as a sister, or even a friend for that matter. If you don’t believe me… Throw yourself at this “brother” of yours and watch how quickly he takes you down 😉

A man might wait years or even a lifetime to declare his love or interest in a woman. This is all a part of his plan to successfully seduce a woman into believing that it was the endless conversations about love & relationships, the constant interaction, and the desire to fill a void she’s been missing is the force that’s driving him to suddenly confess his dying love. and he brings women’s guards down, by attacking indirectly. A man knows upon first sight whether he’s interested in sleeping with a woman or not… and vice versa.

A woman knows upon first sight whether or not she is interested in sleeping with a man or not. The difference between men and women is, if there is no n her heart, she knows that there is something about this man that’s making her keep in contact. The 3 reasons a woman remains in contact with a man is because she secretly loves him, lusts him, or is using him for his resources.

Wrong!!! Going in for the kill too son would ruin his plan. He has to wait for the right moment. The moment where the move he decides to make won’t make you run away from him forever! We live in a visually oriented society, so when a man approaches a beautiful woman, it’s because he wants to sleep with her, not because he wants to be her friend.

Once he approaches the woman and says what he has to say, it is up to the woman to decide what direction she wants the relationship to go in. His desire to sleep with you thought will never go away. In fact, the only chance you have at reducing his interest in sleeping with you is by actually sleeping with him. Otherwise, his desire to sleep with you will grow stronger and stronger after all the time spent, all the conversations, and all the interaction. What you’re experiencing is a false sense of security. He respects you just enough not to cross any lines and save face, but not enough to be a genuine friend.

He’s your friend in a sense that that’s the category you want him to remain in, but in actuality, he’s just another who would love to sleep with you, and will sleep with you if ever given the opportunity. It’s a false sense of security that will only grant you short-term victories. No one likes to feel used or abused, so choosing friends who can add value to your life, while you add value to their lives as well prove to be longer lasting.

It will take a man who has options and has high esteem no time at all to figure out that his role in your life is to “be there” when you need him. This is an honor that a man would give to the women in his family, his girlfriend, or his wife, and since there’s no room for potential romance between you two, the person you call on for favors should be a male relative or your significant other, because random guys will expect something in return and use their favors as “down payments”. In other words “You owe me”.

A blood brother on the other hand would be more willing to do things for you simply because you’re blood, and even with blood relationship, his willingness to do things for you will have limits. A man who is “just a friend” doesn’t have anything invested in you, so his loyalty to you will depend on how close he thinks he’s getting to you. If this friend suddenly gets into in a relationship of his own, this friend is no longer considered an option because the things he would normally do for you are being done for a woman who has actually earned those privileges or is currently earning them through a “mutually beneficial arrangement”.

If during this time you would like to call on this friend for a favor, you run the risk of causing turmoil in his relationship because a man who’s in a relationship has no business doing another woman favors due to the emotional and psychological effect(s) it has on one or both parties (i.e. Sexual tension). His loyalty should remain to his woman exclusively. There even comes a time where even “mom” gets told no (when it comes to your wife).

If you closely associate with a man who’s romantically interested in, be sure to consider the costs. If you’re mutually interested in him, by all means, spend as much time as you’d like with him. If you’re not mutually interested in him, know that if you closely associate with him, it’s only a matter of time before he makes a sexual advance through his actions or his words. It’s the law of attraction and it should never be ignored. Be aware… be smart… be safe!

Life & Relationship Coach

-AskCheyB

23 thoughts on “Men and beautiful women cannot be “just friends”…

  1. I find your commentary interesting because it explains why my friendships with males never work out. The guy will usually end up telling me at some point that he wants to sleep with me and I will reject his advances and lose what I used to call a friend. I unfortunately I have a bad habit of not picking up the signals. I believe that if I picked up on things a bit earlier in the game than I would not get into these difficult situation.I also think that if I paid more attention to the power of my sexuality than I would give them some credit for trying and not be so harsh when I tell them I’m not interested in them.

    1. I no ow you Velma from way back. You’re the kind of woman who will sleep with married or single men without them commuting to a relationship with you. Then claim that you’re a good Muslim woman-Not

  2. I wish that my ex would read this…his “friendships” with females is the MAIN reason why I broke it off with him! He didn’t understand why I had a problem with it, but I think that he knew better…he just didn’t want to do better!

  3. I actually asked you this question recently. I am not sure that I will stick around a man who has ulterior motives. I have known one of my friends for about 20 years or so and I never looked @ him as a love interest. I have love in my heart for him, but never saw him as anything else, even in my most vulnerable time, but yes he made gestures and touches and it felt like incest. I could go on and on but it’s sad that a man cannot find a genuine spot in his heart for a woman that he loves and not think about sex or getting in her pants. smh.

  4. You are 100% on point. I wouldn’t exactly place myself in the “beautiful” category but this has been my experience for as long as I can remember. No matter how friendly and courteous and “helpful” a man initially comes across as being, at some point he’s going to try to take it there. And sadly, the ones who are married themselves or otherwise involved are the absolute worst! On one hand you don’t exactly want to cut ties with them but at what point does it end?
    As somebody who is currently dealing with this frustrating issue (as in being friendly but ducking and dodging all the while, lol!),
    I could go on for
    days…:-).

  5. This is so true, men will stick around and pretend to be friends, but they are in fact biding their time. A lot them want to make you feel comfortable or are too afraid to reveal they true motives for fear of rejection; but how can we blame them…?!?

  6. Female friend.Is that an oxymoron? Be her “friend” so that you can carry her bags, move her boxes and change her tires…… sounds like lots of fun!

  7. I always use to tell people that I don’t completely trust a guy that says a gal is his bff… If he genuniuely isn’t interested in her,she’s in him. I try not to go further with him especially if he’s bent on having her around like they always do anyways..I can’t do that competition.

  8. That’s why I’m NOT a typical women…. I don’t befriend a man and then start talking about all my problems with men… for the most part I don’t have any…. I don’t talk about men to other men…. my GAME is way to tight for that…. what I declare up front is what I stick with…. I have a certain set of standards for myself that doesn’t change NO MATTER how well your treating me. I know most of my male friends have an ‘agenda’… but I hope for their sake that they have a lot of patience and some self esteem…. cause for some of them ‘Hell could freeze over’ and I still would NOT be intimate with them.

    YES, they mistake me for a typical woman upon first meeting…. but then once they get to know me and see that ‘My word is my Bond’ then they either remain my friend and accept the role I have designated them to or they can get to stepping…. either way my dignity and character is still in tact. LOL
    for most Male friends of mines certainly the hardcore one’s who come with that ‘She’s high maintenance and I’m gonna knock her off her pedestal’ attitude are usually the one’s who fall madly and passionately in love with me …. with NO intimacy on my part AT ALL….LOL there the one’s begging to pay my rent and buying me nice gifts and begging me to accept them… and then they tell me “I’m like a guy” because I view things with a detached emotional practicality…..

    NO I am NOT like a guy…. I am just better at “CHESS” than they are and I am good at keeping my emotions in CHECK…. I can love you and dislike you way more than I let on….LOL I know I am a “TROPHY” and a conquest for men… and I intend to stay that way until the ‘RIGHT MAN’ comes along

    Most of the time …. after my Male friends have fallen way to ‘in love’ with me and start acting clingy and weird with me…
    I usually have to dismiss them for their own sake….. I dislike ‘weak men’…. not that them loving me is weak…its just that they start acting like dramatic azz women and doing things to get my attention like a child and it annoys me and gets on my nerves… after that I have to cut them loose….but funny enough …. I can call anyone of them up after years …. and they will drop everything and everybody for a moment with me….. let’s be clear….

    I USE MY POWERS FOR GOOD AND NOT EVIL…. but make NO MISTAKE I AM A WOMAN WHO IS AWARE OF HER POWER AND THE “EVE’ inside me…LMAO

    1. We know you Alnisa from way back. You were, are, and will always be a woman who will sleep with married or single men who have no intention of marrying you. Then claim you’re a decent Muslim woman-NOT.

    2. Alnisa, Shelly, Latoya, Velma I and every other man knows you from way back in the day. We’ ve dated tons of women like you. You’re all the same

  9. Very interesting read as always… And great to have a males perspective regarding “matters of the heart” relationship do’s and don’ts thanks for sharing!

  10. That is not only bullshit but utterly sexist in several respects. It dictates than all men are too thick & weak as not to be anything but sexually driven, which is scientifically proven not to be true. It implies that only women are sexually attractive, that no women would feel urge to jump her hot male friend, which again is simply not true. So the person that wrote this ridiculous, ignorant, misinformed article just speak for yourself because unlike you I’ve got a brain as well as a pair of balls.

  11. If Your guy “friend” expresses interest in you and you don’t reciprocate his interest, if you want the opportunity to keep the friendship how you handle that moment will determine if there’s a chance.

    He will never need your friendship more than ever at the moment of rejection, and if you fail to be a good friend at that moment he will have no use for you as a romantic partner or a friend moving forward.

    You should reject his advance but you should do so kindly and directly. Simply apologize and say you don’t feel the same way.
    Do not treat him like any other guy you reject, he’s your friend and should be given every consideration (i.e. honesty, no games).

    If he is in love with you it’s probably over. There is nothing you can do except give him time and revisit the friendship after he’s moved on and is over you. But if he just likes you a lot, if he views you as a loyal honest friend he will probably be open to a friendship after a few months of space

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s