The Reason Why Men Cheat…

“The Reason Why Men Cheat!” <<<<< YouTube Video

Cheating isn’t gender specific; it starts in a person’s heart, not in their pants. A cheater will cheat no matter what they’ve got at home. A person’s decision to be unfaithful has less to do with you, than it does with what’s going on inside of them; it’s a disease (if you will). A disease that can only be cured by maturity, growth, and perhaps a good taste of his own medicine. We sometimes find ourselves in situations where we’re unhappy, and we want to find a solution to this problem. A man of substance will take the higher road and talk to his partner about it, or leave the relationship, while a man of poor character will take the low road and outsource. There is no excuse for cheating and there is no one to blame but one’s self for doing so; cheating shows a lack of respect for the relationship and shouldn’t be taken lightly.

Whether things are going well in the relationship or not, if your man makes the decision to cheat, his actions don’t indicate that it’s you that’s making him cheat, his actions show that he is simply dishonest, disloyal, selfish, and have no respect for himself, you, or the relationship. Cheating is a huge reflection of one’s character. You can get a pretty good idea of a person’s character based on a number of things (i.e. The place you met them and under what circumstances, the company they keep, their upbringing, their male influences, their relationship with both their mother and their father, their experience in their past relationships, just to name a few).

It’s important that you take the time to truly get to know a person before you allow yourself to get too emotionally attached to them. The signs of a cheater are more clear that you think; you simply have to know what signs to look for. Ideally, you’ll have to get to know a man’s heart to be certain. The average cheater has an abundance of options, and if he is not reached a high level of maturity, he will without a doubt entertain those options. Always remember that relationships aren’t for everybody, relationships are for the ready, and a person who cheats clearly isn’t ready to be in a committed relationship.

Plainly put… cheaters are spoiled; they want what they want when they want it, and they won’t have it any other way. They’re opportunist and they love the idea of trying new things, experiencing new thrills, and living for the moment! You’ve seen a spoiled child in action when he/she doesn’t get their way; they’ll go and do something to compensate for the attention the parent isn’t giving them. It’s not that the parent doesn’t love the child, it’s not that the parent doesn’t provide the child with everything they need, it’s simply that the child wants more! The same theory applies to men; he could have the best woman at home, have the best life at home, but because he is never satisfied, he has to go out and seek more!

If a man cheats on you once, it’s because he allowed it to happen. If a man cheats on you twice, it’s because you allowed it to happen. Once a man shows you that he doesn’t respect himself, you can’t expect him to treat you any better. Cheating is the ultimate sign of disrespect, and it should not go without consequences. Once you take a cheater back, you’re letting him know that know matter what he does, he will always be welcome back.

One thing women have to realize is that men are master strategist; he may not be the best at hiding things, but he is a master at implementing them. Anything a man wants in life, he will go after, and he will achieve it. When a man seeks out a woman, he strategizes; he evaluates himself and where he’s at financially, emotionally, and spiritually, and then he targets women whose esteem is low enough to accept him in his current state. What this means is, if he’s a man of poor character, he’s going to bypass women of substance because he’s not a man of substance. He instead is going to target a woman whom he knows will settle for any man, just so long as he doesn’t appear to be someone that could hurt her.

It’s sad when women take men back from cheating, because they don’t quite understand that he was planning on cheating on you before he even met you. Maybe I can put it in another way… he never had plans to be loyal to you in the first place; you were merely a stepping stone in his life. When a man is finally ready to settle down, he will have gotten all the promiscuity out of his system and is ready for something more! As a woman, you have to know and understand when a man is ready, but more importantly when he is not. Many times the sex can be so good that a man will hold onto you just to have easy access to unlimited sex.

A lot men agree to relationships just so that no one else can have access to you; it’s a selfish move, but this is what some men do. Meanwhile, as you wait at home twiddling your thumbs, he’s out screwing any and everything moving. You were set up for failure from the very beginning. Maybe it was your dangerous curves, mind blowing sex, your loaded bank account, or your ability to get him exposure in a particular field that caught his attention, but whatever it was, it wasn’t love. This is why it’s extremely important to properly get to know a person because it grants you the opportunity to measure what it is he values, and to also see if he truly values you.

When it comes to cheaters, all he needs is a reason, and that will be all the fuel he needs to be disloyal. There is no way to avoid being cheated on, but you can avoid allowing him to be a repeat offender. Know your worth and don’t settle for a man who blatantly disrespects you and your relationship. By standing your ground and letting him know that you will not tolerate his behavior, you regain your position of power, and you also gain his respect. Nothing hurts a man more than being left by a woman, so if he hurts you by cheating, you return the favor by walking away.

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Life & Relationship Coach


15 thoughts on “The Reason Why Men Cheat…

  1. After my ex-husband cheated, it took me a couple of months to fully accept that he would have done the same thing no matter who he married. I spoke with a lot of other hurt spouses who were having difficulty accepting this, but it’s truly the first major step to recovery. Thanks for sharing this- I hope it helps those who are still struggling to understand the “why.”

    1. Thank you for reading. Yes, when a person cheats, it has more to do with “them” than it does with “you”. Once you see that they’re struggling with their own demons, it’s best to let them go so that they can work on themselves, and you do the same.

    2. Hello Laura, I appreciate you reading and sharing your thoughts. I would love for you to share this blog with your facebook friends and encourage them to subscribe.

      Follow me: @AskCheyB

  2. Thank you for hitting the nail on the head! I really appreciate the fact that you pinpointed the characteristics of a cheater. These are very crucial signs to watch for if they so happen to manifest. Its always important to listen to your gut. Something I wish I had done with my soon to be ex-husband!

  3. Very valuable information. Thanks Chey for sharing these truths on a subject that so many women and men struggle with daily. Deciding to stay or go after infidelity is hard, but after reading this, it makes the choice a clear one if you love yourself enough to leave a toxic situation.

  4. Thank God I read this. God bless. But you walk out and you are left with a lonely heart. How is that? Pls how do I subscribe?

  5. Omg this article was so on point. My man cheats and everything you spoke about hits home. No matter how much I’ve wept and told him if he don’t change I will leave him. I don’t but I now know what to do. Pack my bags and go. He doesn’t come home for days. Lies and he had the nerve to say he’s pimping woman for money. I was not raised like this. He told this woman I don’t think our relationship will last. That was a no no. I love him, but I love myself more. Thank you for this article again. Please post more.

  6. When is it really considered cheating? I’ve never actually caught my boyfriend in the act but I’ve read his text messages which is pretty insecure of me but sometimes I feel like I have no other choice.

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