Q: I met a very nice guy that I’ve dated & he told me how much he likes me & thought I was really a smart person, but after our first date I didn’t see him again but we do text each other once in a while. I usually start the conversation & its killing me, I have fallen in love for this one person & I dont know what to do. I would really like to see him again & I’m afraid if I ask it might look like im throwing myself to him? What can one do when in such a situation?
A: Act like a lady… Think Like a Man. – Steve Harvey. Men live their lives based on logic and reason. Women live their lives based on the way they’re feeling emotionally (love). If you want to be with a man, you have got to start thinking like one. So right now we’re about to put on our “male thinking cap” and think like a man and look at all these signs that are crystal clear. Let’s start with you falling in love with this young man after going on one date and not hearing from him. On the first date, men usually are on their best behavior, so evaluating his true character will take multiple encounters even if this was the best date of your life. If this was the best date you’ve ever had, then take it for just that… “The best date of your life”.
You may have felt “the love” between the two of you, but one date is not enough time for a man or a woman to decide whether or not he/she is in love. If you’re able to fall in what you to believe to be “love” after one encounter with someone, you certainly need to step far away from men, and spend as much quality time with “yourself” and begin to love yourself. While you’re on this journey to loving yourself, you will see that it can take an infinite amount of time to truly love yourself. And you have to love yourself before you can love someone else. So steer clear of men until you’ve reached that mark, otherwise you could find yourself being heavily manipulated or hurt by a man who might take advantage of this vulnerable state of yours.
But let’s talk about “Lover Boy” here. He is showing you how much he’s interested in you (or the lack thereof) by “texting” you after your first date.
A man who’s genuinely interested in developing a real relationship with a woman will call her and make sure that he has her full/undivided attention. And he’s making/taking the time to give her the same. To a man… it doesn’t matter how much of a great time you guys had while you were together. Men try their best to make sure that they’re having a great time with every woman he wants to sleep with. It’s a strategy! And it by no means insists that he wants anything more from you than a “rump in the sack”.
Texting is so easy to do. It’s the phone conversation that requires genuine interest. <<< Write that down!!! Sure, you guys had a great time on the date… but he’s not calling you. That’s all it was (to him) was a good time on the date. If/when he’s ready for you… he will contact you. In the mean time, he’s focusing his energy on another woman who will give him sex “now”. Men love to chase… and if he’s not chasing you, that means you will be nothing more to him than a convenience… Someone who’s available whenever he’s ready to do whatever.
Right now he’s got you wanting him more than he wants you… and I’m sure he realizes that… so he’s taking his sweet time getting to you… because he can. If you are a quality woman, you can have many guys that you “really like” and want to see again. And you should have many options on deck. When you’re ready to commit, you drop those options off and stick to that one guy who adds the most value to your life. The man you choose should be the one who competes for your time and attention the most, and treats you the best. Unfortunately, the man in question is not that into you and there’s nothing you can do to change that at this point. He has to want to see more of you and speak to you more from the very beginning, and that’s not the case here.
He told you how much he likes you and how smart you were with his mouth. Here’s a tip:
“Never listen to a man’s (whom you are emotionally involved with) words… follow his actions. <<< This will prevent you from putting in time/energy/effort into something that’s going nowhere.”
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Life & Relationship Coach