Black women have been through it all, and while I understand why a woman may sometimes be forced to assume the position of the male, it’s ok to let a man step in and reclaim that position. Being in a relationship with a man of any race though will require a bit of “role playing”. Role playing benefits both parties, and it can also be lots of fun if everyone stays in character.
Man: “Hey babe, why don’t you let me assume the role of the man? I’ll protect you, provide for you, and I’ll lead our family on the right path.”
Woman: “That sounds great! Why don’t you let me assume the role of the woman? I’ll care for you, nurture you, and take care of our home.”
These roles are the roles you play for one another. You still get to keep your friends, your job, your independence, but by bringing all of these components together, you become “interdependent”. You add value to one another’s lives while also reminding each other that you value the role that he/she play in “your” life. “Submission” is the key here. Being vulnerable to one another. For the woman, allowing the man to take some of the responsibilities that you’ve grown accustomed to off of your shoulders. For the man, allowing the woman to hold the key to your heart.
While every demographic experiences their own struggles, they pale in comparison to a black woman’s struggles. And with this, they find it much easier to submit as they have less to prove through a fight for independence.
As a black woman fighting for independence, you spend a lifetime trying to be seen, heard, appreciated, respected, and acknowledged. Submitting to a man to the black woman may feel like “I’m starting all over, giving up my freedom, fading into the background… again”. On the contrary, when you meet a good man who appreciates a strong, black woman, he’ll respect you for all of your accomplishments, and he’ll want to add value to your life by making sure that anything burdensome from that point on falls on his shoulders, while you finally sit back, relax, and enjoy being a woman.
Lack of submission causes tension and additional stress to the relationship. It’s a cold/hard world for men, and the one place a man goes to get away from the harshness of the world is his home. When a man comes home, he wants peace and serenity, and the people under the same roof should share that same sentiment. While he’s out protecting and providing for you/the family, make home the best place on earth for him to be.
When a man is absent from your life, the woman should act as a “substitute” for a protector and a provider until a worthy man comes along to reclaim that position. When a worthy man comes along and asks for this position, open your heart, be vulnerable, and let him have this place in your heart and in your life. The number one reason why black men date outside of their race and overlook the black women they see everyday is because black women are reluctant to submit to their man. With role playing, black couples can work together more effectively and aim towards building loving, caring, and prosperous relationships with one another, which will lead to more black marriages, black families, and black unity!
All the blame can/won’t be placed on the black women. To the black men, when you have that special lady, incorporate and maintain “The 7 Habits of highly Effective Relationships” (According to AskCheyB). Respect, Love, Honesty, Trust, Loyalty, Support, and Communication. Apply these basic principles to your life and witness change.
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Life & Relationship Coach