Ways to increase black marriages world wide…

Black women have been through it all, and while I understand why a woman may sometimes be forced to assume the position of the male, it’s ok to let a man step in and reclaim that position. Being in a relationship with a man of any race though will require a bit of “role playing”. Role playing benefits both parties, and it can also be lots of fun if everyone stays in character.

Man: “Hey babe, why don’t you let me assume the role of the man? I’ll protect you, provide for you, and I’ll lead our family on the right path.”

Woman: “That sounds great! Why don’t you let me assume the role of the woman? I’ll care for you, nurture you, and take care of our home.”

These roles are the roles you play for one another. You still get to keep your friends, your job, your independence, but by bringing all of these components together, you become “interdependent”. You add value to one another’s lives while also reminding each other that you value the role that he/she play in “your” life. “Submission” is the key here. Being vulnerable to one another. For the woman, allowing the man to take some of the responsibilities that you’ve grown accustomed to off of your shoulders. For the man, allowing the woman to hold the key to your heart.

While every demographic experiences their own struggles, they pale in comparison to a black woman’s struggles. And with this, they find it much easier to submit as they have less to prove through a fight for independence.

As a black woman fighting for independence, you spend a lifetime trying to be seen, heard, appreciated, respected, and acknowledged. Submitting to a man to the black woman may feel like “I’m starting all over, giving up my freedom, fading into the background… again”. On the contrary, when you meet a good man who appreciates a strong, black woman, he’ll respect you for all of your accomplishments, and he’ll want to add value to your life by making sure that anything burdensome from that point on falls on his shoulders, while you finally sit back, relax, and enjoy being a woman.

Lack of submission causes tension and additional stress to the relationship. It’s a cold/hard world for men, and the one place a man goes to get away from the harshness of the world is his home. When a man comes home, he wants peace and serenity, and the people under the same roof should share that same sentiment. While he’s out protecting and providing for you/the family, make home the best place on earth for him to be.

When a man is absent from your life, the woman should act as a “substitute” for a protector and a provider until a worthy man comes along to reclaim that position. When a worthy man comes along and asks for this position, open your heart, be vulnerable, and let him have this place in your heart and in your life. The number one reason why black men date outside of their race and overlook the black women they see everyday is because black women are reluctant to submit to their man. With role playing, black couples can work together more effectively and aim towards building loving, caring, and prosperous relationships with one another, which will lead to more black marriages, black families, and black unity!

All the blame can/won’t be placed on the black women. To the black men, when you have that special lady, incorporate and maintain “The 7 Habits of highly Effective Relationships” (According to AskCheyB). Respect, Love, Honesty, Trust, Loyalty, Support, and Communication. Apply these basic principles to your life and witness change.

If you’ve been inspired by today’s blog, please subscribe, post your comments below, and share it with your friends. Also, please visit my new website and connect with me on all of my social networks!www.askcheyb.com

Add me: www.facebook.com/askcheyb

Follow me: @AskCheyB

Life & Relationship Coach


8 thoughts on “Ways to increase black marriages world wide…

  1. i appreciated your editorial, it was thoughtful,and honest .The words that stood out for me, was interdepend, at times that’s what missing in a relationship.

  2. Chey, you hit me right on the head. I just asked you on twitter what was the way to a man’s heart and this blog explained it for me. I think even the Black woman who knows what submission means either in Biblical terms or natural is fearful of it because she has been hurt when she submitted to her past partners. I am ready to submit but I am waiting for the man to find me. I do not believe in pursuing the man. I am an old fashioned woman, but Lord I am waiting and making myself the best woman I can be for my future mate in hopes that he will treat me right and I will be able to submit to him. Thanks so much 🙂

  3. The reason why there is lack of submission is actually because our culture is actually more matriarchal naturally and especially in this society where Black men have had their balls cut off. If you look at my family all the women are so strong but the men no matter how much money they have or make fold or run away when times get hard. So, to submit for many means to go without because the men aren’t making it happen in their community. I think women need to choose to be single if they are unable to find a strong mate.

    1. @Yani- We all reserve the right to be selective. This world is filled with billions of people and you only need “one”. Whoever that “one” is, he should be someone who meets the standards you have.Never settle for less, settle for more 😉

  4. My reply did not post…I STRONGLY AGREE with Yani. B. I wil remain single untilmy King finds me and I will become his Queen. No chumps need apply!! BTW, love the added pictures! Our first family is a great example of what it takes. Keep up the good work, Chey B!! Stay well and happy!

    All the best to you and yours, Velma

    1. @Mack1298- Thank you for reading. I’m happy I was able to inspire you. A man who is “worthy” deserves your hand. Never settle for less, settle for more 😉

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s