A person cheats because it’s in their heart to do so. Cheating begins in your heart, not in your pants. The heart of a cheater is formed by a multitude of things that go far beyond any one person’s reach. It’s deep rooted inside of them way back from early childhood. If/when a man stops cheating, it will be because he is tired of doing what he’s always been doing and getting what he’s always got. He is now learned from his experience, and has grown/matured into a man who is ready to either be single, or commit himself to a serious monogamous relationship.
If it’s in a person’s heart to cheat, then it’s totally out of your hands. There is nothing you can do to make a cheater start or stop cheating. Cheating is an act of personal choice and is embedded in a person’s character based on their upbringing, their male influences, and the morals, values, and principles they live by. If you sense signs of your significant other being a cheater, remove yourself from that relationship. By leaving, you make him aware that you’re aware of his lifestyle and that you are not going to tolerate it. He will realize what he’s lost and either continue to play the field as a single bachelor, try and play the next woman with his games, or grow up and act like a responsible adult for the next woman he encounters. But “you” be sure not to give him any second chances.
If after seeing signs of your significant other’s infidelity from a recent relationship or through you, you still entertain him, you are asking for a double dose of heartache and pain. When a person shows you who they are, believe them! Do not hope to find something in them other than the person they’ve already shown you up front. That is a fool’s game.
You may be a wonderful woman with great qualities, but those great qualities that you possess are only enough to make a cheater “entertain” you. It won’t be enough to make him “not” entertain other women. By you being the best woman you can be for this man, you will only slow his cheating down, but that won’t eliminate his urges to cheat completely. Being monogamous is a decision he has to come to on his own because once those urges come back up, you will find yourself falling victim to the very things he showed you he was capable of doing.
The only defense to this is knowing where his heart is, what principles he lives by, and what morals and values he has (if any). Get to know your partner, dig deep into his past, talk to him about his past relationships, his relationship with his parents, friends, and male influences. The for information you have about him, the better you can protect yourself.
Yes! Never allow your man to get too comfortable or to get set in a routine. Keep him on his toes for LIFE, but stay true! He’ll be so concerned with “your” next move, that he won’t be as interested or able to focus on making moves of his own (w/ another woman). Instead, he’ll dedicate his life trying to conquer you. He’ll be under your spell.
Life & Relationship Coach