Locked phones=Red Flag

When a person “locks” something, that means that that something has value (to them) and is worth protecting from everyone else. While single, a person will independently hold the key(s) to any and all locks, even the key to their heart. Once they decide to commit themselves in a relationship, they are then making a conscious decision to “share” their world. At this point, the doors of their hearts and everywhere else “should be” wide open… making them completely vulnerable to you. By them opening the doors “themselves” (without them being forced open), there’s no need for keys, because their actions insist that they have nothing to hide.

These doors are doors of “trust”… doors of “vulnerability” and in a relationship, they should never be locked. The purpose behind opening these doors isn’t to give your significant other access to and power over your personal/private life. When doors aren’t locked, and access is permitted, you are letting your partner know that if they choose to… they are “welcome” to walk in and out of doors on their own (as they please/when they please). By you readily and willingly opening the doors of your heart and everywhere else, your significant other will then feel a sense of trust/comfort. If you do so on your own accord, and your partner is true to the relationship, they will have no desire (at all) to look for anything hidden.

By denying your significant other access to certain things, you blatantly express to them that a) You are not willing to share everything with your partner b) Whatever it is you are protecting is more important than your significant other’s comfort and trust in you. c) Both A & B. If your significant other refuses to open any doors to their world, then you simply close the door on them.

There are exceptions to this rule: (i.e. If you have a lock on your phone for the sake of denying your children access, and you give your partner the code, this is equivalent to not having a lock on your phone at all and can be excused.)

Life & Relationship Coach


5 thoughts on “Locked phones=Red Flag

  1. I agree with this 100%. I am the kind of person who loves hard and I go out of the way to make sure my significant other knows it and I go over and beyond to prove that they have me all to themselves. Not that I prefer or want him to look through my phone but by me not locking it it makes him feel comfortable and more confident knowing I can leave my phone with him at anytime and not lock it or be nervous about it.

  2. I’m 24 my bf is 23.We have 2boys,we also all live together.After using his phone because mines was broke,I notice him txtn a co-worker,when I asked him about it,he said they mainly spoke about work.few days later he locked his phone!He says intimidated by the co-worker.Am I wrong to feel thus way?

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