AskCheyB’s first blog post!

Hey what’s goin’ on everyone?

It’s Life & Relationship Coach “AskCheyB”. Welcome to my new blog! We’re going to be talking about Life, Love, and Relationships! I hope that through my blogs you will be able to grow into mature, responsible, smart, loving, caring adults, and will continue to make your personal and professional relationships more meaningful and longer-lasting. Life is about building relationships and leaving behind legacies, so I encourage to work on both in your everyday lives.

This blog is a place for me and you to learn and grow “together”, so I want you to do more than just “read” my blogs. I want you to interact!!!When you interact with my blog, that gives “me” the opportunity to learn and grow from “you”. We ALL are on a path of growth and development, and you can never stop learning. So I’d like for you to “like” my posts when you’ve read something you found interesting, and I’d like for you to “comment” on the posts you can relate to or even disagree with, and most importantly I’d like for you to “share” my blogs posts with all of your friends, family members, co-workers, etc so that we can all stay connected and learn and grow together!

Life & Relationship Coach

-AskCheyB

6 thoughts on “AskCheyB’s first blog post!

  1. My love life is a rollercoaster!! But I’ll make this a short as possible, I’m 23yrs old and was in a long term relationship with my high school sweetheart for 6yrs. We had a very rough relationship, he couldn’t commit, he lied to me several times, and just couldn’t understand how to treat me! I’m not innocent, I definitely had my fair share of blame as to why things were rocky, but I just couldn’t fathom giving 100% and being the woman he wanted if he refused to treat me decently.  In January, we got in an argument and I decided to cut all ties, 4 days later (fast I know) I met a new guy who treats me like a queen, and it motivates me to want to treat him like a king. We are incredibly compatible and I genuinely enjoy the time we spend together. I constantly find myself working to make him happy, but he doesn’t want or need anything extra, just me. Our relationship is a little unconventional; on our first date he told me he  loved me  and 3 months later he proposed. I accepted then called it off since I’ve felt we needed more time to figure out if this is for sure what we want. We have been together for a year. On a break, I slipped up and started seeing my ex again andI’ve seen genuine change, he’s much more helpful, he tends to my needs genuinely, and everything else I could ever want.  Although there has been a recent incident where he lied about an STD test.  I am not in a relationship with either one at this time until I get myself together. The problem lies where I dont know who to choose…my ex is my best friend in the world, we’ve been together since we were 16! I try to give him the benefit of the doubt since we are so young and he’s growing into himself, but to what degree will he actually make genuine change? I don’t want to spend anymore time hoping with me, but I am optimistic and I do loamazingly conditionally. The guy I’ve been with for a year is amazing, but we are both passive, hopeless romantics, and completely into eachother. I also love him unconditionally. He’s Bolivian so I’m not sure if that’ll help put the whole proposal thing into perspective since their culture is different.

  2. Hello Chandtisse, I appreciate you reading and sharing your thoughts. I would love for you to share my blog site with your facebook friends and encourage them to subscribe. You can send all your questions to AskCheyB@gmail.com

    Follow me: @AskCheyB

  3. Dear Moron.

    Your worth is not determined by the value you bring to the lives of others.

    Its based on how you value yourself.

  4. Sexism and misogynistic attitudes have presented in all forms of media. There are countless books containing self-help advice on various topics. The most popular topic is relationships. This has spawned the “How to Get a Man” phenomenon. These books seem harmless, but their messages are often demeaning towards women and preach submission over equality of women. These books are often written by self-proclaimed relationship coaches, with little or no formal training. Some of these books are written by celebrities. Many of the best sellers are written by men. They are selling books based on “life experiences”. A perfect example of this is, Tyrese Gibson best known for his roles in Baby Boy and Transformers, a best-selling R&B artist, his outrageous Twitter conflicts and most recently his rants against obese people, is the author of two self- help books. Tyrese’s educational background is sketchy and there’s no proof of a successful personal relationship, Tyrese has managed to make it to the New York Times Best seller list. To give Tyrese credit the book that was marketed to his female audience, was co-authored by Rev Run of Run DMC now an ordained minister. Part of Reverend Run’s duties is to offer advice. Tyrese’s books are almost harmless compared to some others.

    Steve Harvey’s educational background is a bit more extensive than Tyrese’s, however whereas Tyrese’s books explore the man’s mind and then gives advice, Harvey’s books lean more towards telling a woman how to be a woman. His book received mixed reviews. Those who did not support his book went on to criticize his advice when he adapted that same book into a cinematic comedy starring Kevin Hart. It left many of us questioning the validity of the book. This relationship advice came from a twice divorced comedian.
    Recently there has been severe criticism of life coach Chey B. on the social network, Twitter. I was first made aware of his presence by a tweet that could be construed as homophobic. Twitter is a place where random thoughts are condensed to 140 characters at a time. Sensitivity and political correctness is often disregarded. What makes the difference in Chey B’s tweets is that he claims to be a life coach there to uplift and empower women. The following are tweets from Chey B. that have garnered some criticism:

    “Ladies: Believe me… you don’t want “equality”. Walk in a man’s shoes for 24 hrs and you’ll be begging to get the perks of a woman again!”

    “Make up your mind ladies! Either you want to be on the same level as a man, or you want him to be gentle and cater to you.”

    “Ladies: Your degrees are “your” degrees. They’re about as useful to a man as toilet paper. A man wants to know “What can you do for me?”

    “Ladies: Your vagina is your negotiating power!”

    Chey B.,makes the assertion that he speaks for all men and that women would be better off being submissive. His messages often go along with the concept; “Feminism does not uplift Black people. It actually divides black men and women” (@theblackguyx via Twitter) Chey has admitted that he targets women. Has taken pride in the hashtag #singlebydesign but yet his whole book is devoted to telling a woman how to get and keep a man. When he is questioned or criticized about his views he often responds with pre prepared, generic answers. He has yet to answer direct questions regarding how his message affects equality.

    Other disturbing behavior by Chey B., is his unwillingness to speak directly to African- American men on Twitter that have questioned his viewpoints. If these men are not in total agreement with his views he directs them to his website where they can request one on one advice with him. Instead of backing his views, when challenged Chey B. will make a statement and quickly delete or make the tweet otherwise unavailable. Those who have had direct contact with Chey, have had to resort to capturing these tweets via screen shot or other methods of saving the tweets. This tends to happen when he is questioned by bloggers interested in obtaining research material. Chey often tells individuals that disagree with him, that their issue is self-hate. It is disheartening that Chey B. has over 30,000 followers and his messages continue to mock the independence and equality of women.

    If there continues to be a following for Chey B.’s advice and other self-proclaimed life coaches with the same damaging messages of submission, further generations are doomed. Chey B. and his counterparts are the gateway to worsening sexist attitudes towards women. Once a woman is told to revert back to old gender roles, society will then begin to feel as if women are not entitled to deserved equality. Injustices, assaults and misogyny become more acceptable. and his counterparts are the gateway to worsening sexist attitudes towards women. Once a woman is told to revert back to old gender roles, society will then begin to feel as if women are not entitled to deserved equality. Injustices, assaults and misogyny become more acceptable.

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